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Xinyta's thought space
- Author Xinyta
- Create date
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I am growing tired of, even find annoyance, with videogames. Not because I just flipped a switch and just started hating them. It's a more personal reason. Videogames have consumed my whole life or at least what little life I had through existing.
I've noticed that all my mind wants to think...
"When we withhold trust out of fear or cynicism, we starve our humanity."
This sentence holds alot of meaning to me. Fear is the core of what plagues my very mind and heart. Fear that was seeded from my parent's upbringing and the fact that I at no point in my life questioned any of it till...
Tonight has been a big one for me. Not because of an event or someone visiting.
Tonight is a big night because I am facing what I internally have feared for a long time. Failure. Or more specifically perpetual failure. Constantly expecting myself to fail somehow and avoiding to try entirely to...
Honestly. I see alot of mixed beliefs with religion and God, heaven and the like. Good on everyone for having the views you do. Mine are... not as cut and dry. Though I'll try to shorten my thoughts as much as possible. No sense writing a novel to get across info.
I have stated a few things...
Life is finite.
A flash in the overall universe,
Yet it's a journey.
We despise it,
Yet we must face adversity.
In crossroads are we tested.
In crossroads are we forced to face our demons.
Pressure refines the soul,
Like a diamond after ages of earthly formation.
Our truest selves are revealed...
I am feeling less and less motivated with each passing day. Less and less desire to try anymore. Maybe I've been trying too hard to be what I'm not. Or maybe I am not trying hard enough to break the mindset I've overwhelming been in for 27 years.
I always feel like I never do enough. Even when...
Let's talk about what I have been thinking about.
But first, some music that has had inspired my thought process:
I have noticed that since my moving to my Uncle's house. I have been on a journey. Already ran into many crossroads that have challenged me and have changed my perspective on...
I am happy to say this trip was good for me for two reasons.
1. I get to see a new place in the USA.
2. I get to indirectly address my psychological hangups through observation and new perspective.
As far as the first one. I really have never been outside my own state too much. Missouri and...
I had a long talk with my uncle last night about issues that have been happening on the constant for as long as I have been alive. The biggest question is who I am as a person. I don't have an answer on any level for that. I somehow coasted through life not paying much attention to nearly...
I had an epiphany today about my own actions and behavior that reflected how I present myself. While I know there is always going to be a kid inside us. This was more immature behavior. Not wanting to face reality as far as life. Wanting to hide away. And I think I disliked myself, not for any...
Blog information
More entries from Xinyta
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Early Life part 2I do only remember bits and pieces of what happened. My dad found the woman who would be my... -
Early LifeI don't remember my birth, like many. Though I lack alot of memory in the few years after that...
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PreludeHate. No one has any idea how strong of an emotion it is. No one thinks about the pain that is...
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To all that readThis is the story of how my life happened and how it affected me. Alot of my early years was...
More blogs from Xinyta
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Lost Child Syndrome: A Journey through ASD and NegelectThis is my life story of how I got to where I am. Will update as frequently as I can.
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Xinyta's Game CornerA blog for my general views, and thoughts, on videogames I like.