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General
After the gathering at Kate's, I was burnt out. Me and Meg agreed that it had been quite a hectic and full on day, and it was understandable that I was burnt out. She told me many times throughout the holiday that I was doing really well in pushing past my comfort zone.
That morning I woke up...
Around 7pm on Sunday evening we left for Cornwall. I knew it would be a long trip, but we had planned to stay the night in Bristol as we had 2 stops to do whilst in the city. Whilst we were still near to Haddenham we tried a few petrol stations to find a propane gas canister for the van...
I never seek out to hurt anyone. I don't think anyone does. But everyone hurts one another either intentionally or unintentionally. I know i don't owe anyone that is not close to me anything. But being hated feels like hell to me.
I always thought i want to help people so i can have a meaning...
Woke up with a sense of despair. Needless to say it was bloody horrible, and I couldn't pin it to a thought - it just was. Thankfully it dissipated within a minute or 2. I pondered the dream I had prior to waking up, but it didn't feel like a trigger in terms of narrative or how it made me feel...
On Wednesday I went with Meg into Peterborough to meet with one of her work colleagues. We went to a place that only serves desserts. It was quite a decadent experience I must admit, and it was funny to see that even without discussing what we were having - me and Meg's choice was almost exact...
I think I might have smiled more yesterday than on any day in living memory. Quite a spectacular feeling.
The morning and early afternoon was productive - with printing, framing, recycling, going to the recycling centre, unpacking bulk bought frames etc. Around 2 Meg popped over. We had a chat...
Had a wonderful chat with Meg last night. We discussed all sorts, including how things between us seem very real. Meaning there doesn't seem to be any illusion or clouded judgement when it comes to our new found relationship. We've discussed projection before, and how we'd fill in the gaps in...
Doesn't feel like I got enough sleep. Thankfully I got to sleep without issue - no dramas or weird mind games last night. Mind you, I knew the escapades of the night before was unusual and, whilst I'd considered it; I wasn't fearful it'd occur the follwing night. It was a very busy day...
Got to bed and knew that I was going to sleep well. So tired, so comfy - it felt wunderbah. After a minute or 2 my phone vibrated and I saw that Meg had reacted to one of my messages with a <3
We messaged one another before I went to bed. Sounded like a long day on the road to get to Cumbria. I...
Today has been nice, and certainly productive. I think starting the day with a blog might've got me into my own headspace a little too soon with the deeper thoughts and introspection etc. Normally I enjoy writing as a release to recall the day, and get out emotions and expressions.
The morning...
A gaming friend of mine messaged me yesterday evening for a catch up. He'd recently moved house and also tried coke for the first time. I was a little concerned, as I've known a few people get hooked on that stuff. Turns out his housemate does coke. I told him to be careful, as I saw the...
On Sunday evening Meg headed out to some woods that she'd stayed at before, whilst working on a nearby archaeological dig site. She was in need of recharge and time to herself. The Monday and Tuesday in UK were very warm, and Tuesday felt particularly more draining I think. Those cool...
Hi.
It's been a while since I last posted on here. I have no idea of how many people read these entries, how many care or how many just read out of curiosity. Either way, I'm already grateful if you're already in here. Because lately that feeling of loneliness have risen at its maximum...
It's been a week since I last wrote a blog. Towards the end of last week, me and Meg attempted our first ever FWB (friends with benefits) relationship. We knew that neither of us were ready to date, and we also didn't want to run the risk of ruining our friendship. At the same time, on a...
After Meg went home I took a shower and got freshened up as we were going to meet that evening and drive out to the fens in her van. I wanted to show her a remote spot where I like to have a smoke and watch the sunset. It's down a skinny, single track farm drove, and as the road takes a corner...
Yesterday I spent a lot of the day chatting with Meg on WhatsApp. She then invited me to the river nearby to go swimming. I'd never been swimming in the wild and was a little nervous, but I said I'd come along. I asked if I could get a lift with her and she said I could, but that she'd be...
The night before the exhibition it took 5 hours to get 3 hours sleep - now that's value for money.
Just before I drifted off having a nap - my friend said she was ready to meet whenever I was. So I listened to my gut, and suggested that drove to London again - as I knew it was going to be hot...
The trip to Londinium today felt like an adventure. Years back I used to drive south of London and it'd often trigger panic attacks and my usual aches and pains would go nuclear. Today, I felt calm on the drive down the motorway. When I first saw the hazy blue skyscrapers of London in the...
The morning started off with feeling like I hadn't got much sleep. I went to the shop to get the newspaper for my folks, and got a few snacks for myself.
Whilst the morning was a little cooler, allbeit very sunny - I went down to Fairchilds meadow on the edge of the village. It's been my new...