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General

AprilR
1 min read
Views
15
Personal
I wonder if i will ever be able to act like myself again. Whenever i make up my mind people show their ugliness to me so casually i am filled with hatred and fear. And i want to keep myself hidden from the world until i die. Because whenever i think oh people are not that terrible they exceed my...
DavidJSNSW
1 min read
Views
8
General
I am looking to do a thesis at the end of my history degree ie: when all the coursework has been completed. Something on the Anglo Saxons would really interest me. For those not in the know, that is the name given to various peoples who occupied England once the Romans decamped at the...
DavidJSNSW
1 min read
Views
19
Reaction score
1
Trips & Outings
I was in Canberra not so long ago visiting cousins I had not seen in yonks. One cousin suggested I stay at her place next time I came to town (she has a husband and two children). I was polite and thanked her but inwardly, I hyperventilated. The idea of having my own hotel room even though it...
Chailatte_
1 min read
Views
19
Reaction score
1
General
The feeling Of rain inside, the storm, the cold, the darkness. The need to keep the lights off, to forget all the chaos and oppression for a moment. Waves crashing inside my head threaten to topple even the sturdiest buildings, a sailor in the midst of the waves, pleading for mercy, but not a...
DavidJSNSW
1 min read
Views
12
University
My last assignment was to write a piece on the Dark Ages and problems with the term. Historians now tend to refer to Late Antiquity and the Early Middle Ages. The border between the two is not clear but the period was not 'dark'. The negative connotations don't fit with the reality of the...
DavidJSNSW
1 min read
Views
45
Reaction score
1
Comments
2
General
I understand that autism is simply your condition when you are not neurotypical. But I am willing to own autism as a form of disability. One example: I like to do laps at the pool but prefer to go when it is not too crowded. As such, I select times when there are relatively few people (not...
DavidJSNSW
1 min read
Views
191
Comments
2
General
Not that long ago, I found out what executive functioning means. Once I understood what it was and how autistic people have a problem with it, I felt relieved more than anything. As long as I can remember, I have found activities that involve seemingly complex components like driving a car...
Misty Avich
2 min read
Views
82
Reaction score
1
Comments
1
Personal
- I don't have sensory issues with bright lights, smells, touch or taste. Yes I have a phobia thing of clothing tags but it's more down to OCD than sensory - I am able to lie and understand theory of mind - I can understand body language, face expressions and tone of voice well - I get...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
37
Personal
I am always pretending i am normal, and i have friends and a social circle and i can relate to people. I am always pretending i am smarter than i am and i fear someday people will find out the truth. I might ruin my employer's business. I used to have a best friend that i talked everyday but...
Xinyta
1 min read
Views
34
Comments
1
General
I have started looking into the idea of a dual layered system. Masking and a psychological defense bubble. Entities on thier own serving thier psychological purposes for different things. It's a work in progress, but I have dubbed this idea the 'Super Sheild Theory'. I will most likely have...
Xinyta
1 min read
Views
247
Reaction score
1
Comments
1
Personal
I see my folly. I am afraid of the truth. I am afraid to face myself. I have never in my life have ever let go of anything. I have blamed this. I have blamed that. But I have largely blamed myself for things that I have no control over. Blamed myself for things that never existed. Blamed myself...
DavidJSNSW
1 min read
Views
33
General
I submitted an assignment recently about primary sources re: Charlemagne's coronation (800CE). I was happy with my mark but the assignment made think of how we would analyse primary sources about events that happened more recently. Imagine trying to find the truth about the stabbings at Bondi...
Xinyta
1 min read
Views
27
Reaction score
1
Personal
This is a thing I need to admit to myself. No matter how much I despised her, I still took on her traits. I took on: - Being Pessimistic - Despising everyone and everything - Being overall negative about everything - Blaming everyone but myself - Being Selfish - Panicing over simple things that...
DavidJSNSW
1 min read
Views
28
My Diagnosis
I got my autism diagnosis from a local psychologist with postgraduate qualifications in the area. I think like many people who are autistic, it didn't change anything but it certainly made sense of what has happened in my life, how I have responded to things, and of course how I currently think...
DavidJSNSW
1 min read
Views
31
Coursework
I have spent the public holiday today making progress on my essay for my Master of History course. The subject is in Mediaeval history and the essay is on the period of crisis in 14th and early 15th centuries. A massive famine in the early 14th century, the Black Death a bit later on, the...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
42
Personal
To me, love is something more than caring for someone. When someone can see through your soul, understand you intuitively and makes you feel alive. I have lots of memories like this, people that come and go from my life, some were friends, others mere acquaintances. I never let them see me fully...
Being young Being wild Chasing dreams Feels alive Underneath the stars Dancing only starts When we set it free Will this always be? But even the life If I realized On a hill up high Would it be all right? And yet I Feeling the rhythm and lines And yet I Feeling the marching and heart...
The clouds are rolling in from up high Gray and heavy smoke covers the skies The world's got darker and colder fast But I believe it is unshaken After the rainfall and the rest The world will awaken again The slumber will fade and go away It will all change into bright and green The storm...
Xinyta
5 min read
Views
35
Personal
I do only remember bits and pieces of what happened. My dad found the woman who would be my stepmother. She came over to see me at my grandparent's house for Christmas. Alot of my dad's family and relatives were there. I probably was 6 going on 7 years old. My stepmother put up a good act...
Xinyta
4 min read
Views
28
Personal
I don't remember my birth, like many. Though I lack alot of memory in the few years after that. Most of this account in my earliest years was told to me by relatives on my Dad's side of the family. This is in hopes of keeping a record for myself too. From what I know, I was born in Alton...
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