Asperger's & Autism Forum

Did you ever meet someone, and get totally overwhelmed, only to wake up and find that they thought you liked them because they were (insert in anything here).

I’m at a crossroads in my life. Maybe this isn’t even a big deal but it feels like a big deal to me. Im living in an apartment that I like OK, but it isn’t MY place. I’ve never owned a place by myself, only when married to a man that had tools and handyman knowledge.
Now I am single and a senior and there is a little cabin I want to buy. It needs some work so no bank will finance it.
I’ve been looking at the listing every day for over 200 days, looking at the photos on Zillow and daydreaming about how I would fix it up. I really want this place but I’m afraid. Will I be able to handle hiring people to make repairs and not get ripped off? Will I be able to shovel snow, carry firewood, keep a fire going so I don’t freeze to death? What if I get depressed and can’t handle something?
Is it normal to be afraid or am I sensing my limitations and should not buy it?
I don’t like the unknown.
I’m smart and good at finding solutions to problems.
Darn it, I’m confused.

Having both autism and adhd is so darn difficult! It feels like I am never understood at times. Trust me, autism and adhd do NOT mix. They are both heavily misunderstood neurological conditions, and I just happen to have both. Whoop-dee-doo.

Ain't life just great?

There are some days when it seems my ADHD is more active then my autism, and I'm in a constant state of being confused and/or not being able to pay attention for more than 4 seconds, and then there are some days when it seems my autism is more active and then my anxiety levels rise to an incredible amount, I am scared of talking to people in fear of being completely misinterpreted as an awful person, and my clothes suddenly irritate me even more, making me constantly fight the urge to start stripping naked (which can distract me from everything else that is happening around me sometimes). The days when it seems my autism and adhd are equally active are still pretty difficult.

I have plans to make my adult life easier,...

TL/DR: What do you say when confronted at work when you've made the same mistake a few times in a row? ...without blaming stress or circumstances? ...without crying in front of the boss over life?

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I made a mistake at work. I missed something thst I clearly should have seen but did not.

I feel like a failure. I have made this mistake two or three times now.

1. When receiving a verbal or written warning, how do you respond in an adult fashion? Without crying? Or blaming circumstances?

A script in general if anyone has one that they used?

2. I am thinking about asking for retraining on emergency procedures. This is part of what I think I need in order not to do it again.

The rest of what I need is for my entire life to change. Sigh.

3. Yes, i have major stuff going on in my life-- a contentious divorce, having to move what i can out of the ex-house soon, court dates, lack of finances. And i have to find someone to do my taxes.
I think I found a free service and have to...

This is kind of a rant, directed at nobody in particular.

The common advice it seems when it comes to loneliness and being lonely is to just brush it off, distract yourself, or get used to it. None of these approaches are helpful when it comes to being lonely.

Being alone and being lonely are two different things. It's good to learn how to be alone, because sometimes you do have to be alone. However, loneliness is an entirely different thing altogether. Loneliness arises when you don't feel satisfied with your social life or have no social life altogether, and it's a natural human feeling to have. We evolved by sticking together and forming social bonds, so we're wired to want relationships (I'm not talking solely about romantic ones, but all relationships). Long term isolation isn't good for us.

Research has shown that loneliness and isolation have negative effects on people's health, both physically and mentally. It's not good for you to have no friends, no family, or anyone...

so i have a general question; do people on the spectrum stare a lot? Like they dont mean it but they just dont know how to break an eye contact. I often catch my aspie bf stare at me for a long time then i would notice and i would correct him and tell him to quit staring and i dont mean it in a bad way. Then i realized i should start changing the approach and kindly ask him to not over stare not just at me but to other people as well.

Any Aspies into the churning life?

Been churning for welcome bonuses on telecommunications and financial products. I'd think that most churners are Aspies. Granted, many Aspies and NT's alike say churning is "too complicated", but it takes a special interest in mapping out the steps involved, calling customer service every now and then and repeating it all over again.

Since I got into churning, it's become a stim.

Just wondering what the community thinks about Aspies and substance addictions. I don't want to get into the legalities. Whether it be alcohol, tobacco, cannabis (legal in some places), illicit drugs, etc. Are Aspies more prone to addiction than the general population?

For me, I find that I don't need to alter my state of mind round the clock. I certainly enjoy beer (an asperagus's favourite drink), yet I only desire to drink within my limits and am able to limit consumption so it never becomes a habit or escape/stim. My little experience with tobacco gave me an immediate chemical addiction, but I had no desire to smoke beyond my curiosity, so I didn't pick up smoking.

Please vote in thread and comment on your own experiences.

I learned to read long before I started school, however, my mathematical abilities lagged way behind. Most notably, I cannot handle time. I was 12 before I could read a clock face. I still get hopelessly flummoxed by train and bus timetables. If you ask me to wait ten minutes, I will literally stare at the clock the whole time, because I have no natural concept of ten minutes. Ten or twenty feels the same to me.

Is this an Aspie trait? I assume I have some form of dyscalculia. (Although my parents, true to form, insist I am merely 'lazy'.)

I have read blurbs about people with ASD getting along better with members of the opposite sex. I googled to try and learn the dynamics, but came up with nothing. I’m thinking I’m using the wrong wording.

My favorite co worker is a female, we get along well. She is married to a woman, I just said that to establish no one is flirting etc.

Thinking back, I get along well with women. But why?

I’m thinking male to male could tend to be more obnoxious to establish an imaginary line?

Any links would be helpful.