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Asperger's & Autism Forum
I had been precariously ok for a while, depression kicking my butt, but generally trending up. Then I had an extreme meltdown the other night. Extreme as in police were called, I was cuffed and strapped into an ambulance that took me to an emergency room. I managed (barely) to avoid a third stay in a mental hospital (story for another time)
Anyway, that was a couple days ago. Of course I have no memory of the event, but my mom and her boyfriend who witnessed it told me what happened. I know exactly what triggered it and how to avoid it, and I have apologized, tried to explain that meltdown mode me is not the real me and I don't control or remember anything. They say they forgive me, but I still get the sense that they are walking on eggshells around me, desperately trying not to upset me. I hate it. Part of me finds it incredibly irritating and the other part can't even blame them. I scared the absolute balls off of them. Seeing a 26 year old woman screaming her head off, trying...
One of the problems with autism that I see daily around this form is our criticization of how other people talk, and how we're not so good at it. I also see that when we talk on this form, we are more than proficient at it maybe even more so than than other people in the format we strive in. I do not think we have an inherent disadvantage in the way we communicate, I think the way we communicate is different than how other people communicate.
So I ask you this, in what ways in which other people talk do you like and in what ways do you dislike it as well?
I'm opening up this conversation completly expecting a good amount of rants. I know you want to, and I want you to. so go hard, and go crazy
One of the key aspects in my life as an adult on the spectrum is that of black and white thinking. Having such a rigid style of thinking about things has caused much stress and arguments for me during my teenage and now adult life. I've just turned 40.
Black and white thinking makes perfect common sense to me yet NT's always seem to think they know best and proceed to spend lots and lots of time studying the grey areas in between whilst in the meantime nothing ever gets done or is addressed.
When the London Olympics were held back in 2012 at a cost of approximately 8.77 BILLION pounds I must have been the only person in the country who thought that it was a disgrace.
If I was the Prime Minister at the time and someone asked me whether I wanted to spend 8.77 billion pounds of taxpayers money so we could all watch a few men and women chucking a few javelins for a few weeks or alternatively spend that money on where it is most needed as a matter of priority then...
Is there a way to even tell? I am do uncertain wht everyone thinks, so I don't know when I go to far. Either I have a basic problem with reading body language and hints, or they are using the complicated forums of all that language I can't understand.
What even separates them? Why do we find some things quirky, and others just plain grungy. The more obvious extremes of each side are obvious. I know what is super cringy, but I can't even differentiate between what I might feel as a acceptable way to respond, but turns out sounding wrong coming out. Is it just some socially accepted view on what is grungy and what is not. I don't understand
I've thought about this a lot and veered from one side to the other, and now I'm in the middle.
It seems to me that both sides could meet in the middle though.
In the red corner we have neurodiversity people who are against a cure.
A cure means spotting and aborting autistic fetus's because autism is a brain difference. We are all of the same brain, and you can't change your brain.
In the blue corner we have the cure people.
This includes the much quieter autistics who want a cure and probably most parents and doctors.
They see autism as being detrimental to well being and making life much harder for autistics. Because we are outside the normal range, we need help to bring us back to "normal".
The first thing to understand is that both sides have points.
That may be uncomfortable, but they do, and if we want progress it's essential to see the other side.
The second thing is that no one seems to be defining "cure".
Neurodiversity thinks; If i'm not autistic any more then I'm...
So, it's complicated. I am a 55yo married man. I am neuro-typical and always thought of myself as straight. But now I have fallen in love with a 25yo young man. I have known him for more than two years and I am convinced he is on the autistic spectrum. He is socially awkward, doesn't speak much, thinks deeply about things, very intelligent etc. I met him through a volunteer mentor scheme, which ended a long time ago. But I have stuck with him and we have had weekly trips out doing walks, shopping, eating out etc. I have helped him with benefits claims, money management and many other things. In the summer we went away on holiday together. I should say that nothing "improper" or unethical has ever happened. He seems to enjoy my company and seems to like being with me.
But I now realise that I am in love with him. This is not a passing crush, I have known this for 18 months. I think about him all the time, I dream of a life with him, I have everything planned out in my head.
I get that a lot .
It' because I tend to evaluate things rather than like .
In many ways they are right . Being asked what do I like is a confusing question.
I hear people saying " I love this or that "
I love this coffee , I love this bun, I love my partner.?
Your partner is as loved as your coffee ? What happens when they have a bun and a coffee for you ? Do you blow up with overload ?
You will be hard pushed to get me to use the " love word " , some things I can say I like but its
Not a generalised like .
I won't like a band because of 1 song .
If something works am I also meant to like it ?
If it doesn't work that' a valid reason to not like it But working is just doing what it's ment to do .
I can never discuss these things without causing a social war...... so I don't
I think other people view liking in a different way ...must do
So I tend to have a habit of majorly overthinking stuff. I can play out past events in my head to pick them apart completely (usually in the moment I'm trying hard enough to get by to actually pay attention to what's happening), or I go over possible future scenarios in my head to "practice" difficult situations that might arise.
However, this goes up to 11 when I fancy a girl, and it kicks my butt everytime. It starts out okay, I feel like there's some chemistry, and then I start overanalysing everything she says or does or texts, and I either get way too desperate and clingy or fail to make my intentions clear and end up in the friendzone. It's just so hard to interpret signals, I keep doubting myself if she's just being nice or genuinely interested in me but just a bit awkward, like me.
So does anyone have any tips to stop the overthinking? I was texting with this girl and she suddenly stopped responding yesterday and since then I keep being locked up in my head and not able...
I was just woken up. I curled up and feel asleep right after dinner. I have company and I was told I was being rude to keep falling asleep all the time. I'm trying hard to not be angry and fixing to go take a shower... But I just got to wondering about this.
I'm not sleeping to be a jerk. I was just simply tired. I don't seem to need some special sleep schedule, nor do I worry about one. Is it just me being weird and rude, or are any others out there in some way like this?
I have struggled throughout my life with social situations, even family members. I am now in my 40's and finally understand the struggle was just my different interpretation of the world and people around me.
Along my journey I have found little methods and tricks to improve the quality and joy in my life. Why continue to figure life out the hard way?
I know what works for one person, won't work for all, but if you found a way to improve a part of your life, or the quality of your life in one area - would you consider sharing it in this post with your friends here?
Here are tips that have worked for me, and I want to share:
1) My opinion, eye contact has always been useless and unnecessary. However, when I was young, I was directed to make eye contact with people. The rules of eye contact were never clearly explained. So, I made eye contact with everyone, and if they weren't looking at me I would stare until they looked back at me. Then the eye contact issue was...
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