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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Okay, everyone. I need your input. Have you run into the issue of NTs needing "validation"? I'll tell you why I ask.
My ex (still friend) and I broke up and went back and forth for 10 months before realizing we needed to cut it out. It's emotionally exhausting. I told him, and he agreed, that I think we are 1/2 soulmates and 1/2 toxic for each other.
We encountered challenges with each other. I had difficulty accepting certain behaviors (anger outbursts and him disputing my observations/comments all the time- invalidating interactions for me) and he had to deal with my depression and low energy.
Sadly, we failed to communicate like we should have, so lots of things have come out during our break-up discussions. We also screwed up by failing to continue to see our therapist who had really helped.
While I've learned a ton on here and through reading other material, there are certain things I still can't understand. One example is I used to ask him for compliments and he did...
I was hoping some of you may be able to help me understand my partner better. It's a long post, so I hope you're bored enough to read it
We've been together 2 and a half years, and have a 6 month old child together.
We met online, on a MBTI forum, and dated long distance for 18 months before moving in together. Since we have moved in together, our relationship is really struggling, for a multitude of reasons.. But one of the main reasons is just his personality, and my inability to understand it. Which I know might sound absurd, stating that over two years in... Or perhaps it's my inability to come to terms with it.
When we spoke online and got to know each other he was fun, playful and full of bravado. Our relationship was simply a passing friendship, until he invited me to a concert (my favourite band and one of his), and then it turned romantic from there.
The next year was really enjoyable, we spoke over text all the time and we hooked up for a few days every 2-3...
How much satisfaction do you get from buying something you want? I guess it's commonly thought that things don't give you friendship or love, but I disagree. Sometimes they can seem like very good, loyal friends.
I admit that my favorite part of ordering something is the anticipation of opening the box. I've been known to keep the box sealed and wait until a day or two before the return deadline, because the anticipation is almost always greater than the reality.
Don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I've become dependent on this forum for my socializing. Sometimes I just come up with something to talk about because I like hearing back from you. I get aggravated when I hear something negative said about on-line communities and that they aren't real because I feel like they are real. Matter of fact, more real than people in real life.
I don't like talking to people on the phone - don't know what to say. I'm in a panic state when I try to socialize in person. Here, it's okay to not agree, but we're sharing thoughts and feelings that are real. So when I feel like I want to be around friends, or I want to talk - this is where I turn. And we can all actually relate to each other, which I'm so not used to.
A lady at church a couple weeks ago told me she was a lot like me, that if she had her way she'd stay home. I wanted to ask her if she'd go as far as asking her boss to put her on a weekend shift to avoid having to...
Yeah, I do plan on writing stuff about SCP Foundation. Since some SCPs are really freaking terrifying, I am gonna do the cutest and least deadly of them all first. Anyways, here is SCP-999: The Tickle Monster.
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-999 is allowed to freely roam the facility should it desire to, but otherwise must stay in its pen. Subject is not allowed out of its pen at night or off facility grounds at any time. Pen is to be kept clean and food replaced twice daily. All personnel are allowed inside SCP-999’s holding area, but only if they are not assigned to other tasks at the time, or if they are on break. Subject is to be played with when bored and spoken to in a calm, non-threatening tone.
Description: SCP-999 appears to be a large, amorphous, gelatinous mass of translucent orange slime, weighing about 54 kg (120 lbs) with a consistency similar to that of peanut butter. Subject’s size and shape constantly change, though most of the time...
I would like to know, what are your favorite clothing pieces from the past five years?
Here is my list:
Spring/Summer 2015 - IZOD Interlock Polo in Fairy Tale pink. Sadly, this one got bleach stains in the back and I had to donate it this year. Hopefully I can find one someday in wearable condition.
Fall/Winter 2015 - IZOD Sueded Fleece in Cradle Pink.
Spring/Summer 2016 - IZOD Windward Interlock Polo in Cradle Pink.
Fall/Winter 2016 - IZOD Advantage Fleece in Cradle Pink.
Spring/Summer 2017 - IZOD Saltwater Pelican Print Newport Oxford Button-down Shirt in Fairy Tale pink.
Fall/Winter 2017 - IZOD Advantage Fleece in Fairy Tale pink.
Spring/Summer 2018 - IZOD Windward Interlock Polo in Fairy Tale pink.
Fall/Winter 2018 - IZOD Advantage Fleece in Black.
Spring/Summer 2019 - IZOD Saltwater Chino Shorts in Fairy Tale pink.
Fall/Winter 2019 - I have yet to buy anything for FW2019 and I am not sure if I will since I think I have enough fall/winter clothes because it doesn't get very...
I watch Korean dramas and a strange thing is happening. Each time someone's situation changes and either they have no where to live or just been thrown out and looking around bewildered, I can feel a panic inside of me and yet, I know it is just acting, but it brings all my agoraphobia to the fore front and stops me enjoying watching.
I hate the idea of not knowing what the next move is, in my life and can hyperventilate if I feel threatened.
I haven't been here very long but this site and all of you have provided me with so much support and insight and I am so grateful to have found my way here.
I'm in serious trouble. Despite the tremendous amount of effort I have put into doing my job, I have finally messed up enough to earn myself a disciplinary. I am very good at what I do and my work itself is done very well. I constantly go out of my way to go above and beyond what is required of me. Unfortunately, I slip up when it comes to the other aspects, in this case it is capturing my time sheets which my company takes such things very seriously.
They have done everything by the book, I've received the necessary warnings. I've tried to explain that I'm doing my best (because I truly am) but sometimes I slip up.
I honestly care so much about my job and I have improved. They have even acknowledged my improvement. I slipped up once and they have seized the opportunity. I've told them about my my condition...
So I have really bad social anxiety and it's very difficult for me to communicate with people, especially in person.
Well I had met someone online last year with a similar hobby as me and today we finally met in person for the first time.
It was difficult for me to talk, but we are both shy it seems. It still went well I think, and I have a new friend now. To be honest, meeting someone you had met only online can already be pretty awkward as it is so I feel like that didn't help the situation.
I'm always afraid that my social anxiety and awkwardness will scare people away, as it has before. But fingers crossed I make it through until things become more comfortable!
What do you guys do to overcome social anxiety situations and try to make new friends?
I think my codependency ruined my relationship. Yes, we had struggles because of the different way we view the world, but in taking a step back, and looking back at my other relationships, I realize I did the same thing. I just think this time it was more pronounced because I focused so much on his needs because of the (suspected) ASD. I lost sight of myself, my own failings, my own responsibilities.
I was wondering if anybody else had this similar situation where they overfocused on their partners issues and overlooked their own. Or were you the person who was focused on? How did you resolve it?
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