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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Im asking for words of help.
I let myself become a mother even though I didn't want to. Mainly because of my own lack of communication when there was a fine time line to abort mission.
Either way im suffering a depression caused from lifecrisis mental and life breakdown which resulted in me having a child .
All this continues in my head whilst im trying to raise my child as a single mum.
My question of help is how do you deal with your emotions and meltdowns whilst caring for your child?
This week I've had two complete utter meltdowns from being overloaded overwhelmed and cracked open by the temper tantrums of my screaming child. Ive regrettably shouted at my child this twice this week and wanted to push her away from me when ive found it over bearing. I'm finding it harder to controll as she launches at me when in tantrum mode herself .
My instant reaction is to run away from it but I cant run from my daughter. Can anyone give me any tips ? I realise this isn't the...
I seem to have spent a great deal of my adult life trying to avoid "feelings" to keep myself in a state of equanimity, avoid feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable - particularly in relationships where the closeness to another person tends to trigger all these things and results in my withdrawal either emotionally or physically or both.
In some ways this has been a success but in others I now see that it has limited the way that I live, that I have created a shell of self protection around the real me which is exhausting to maintain.
How much of this is something that comes with the ASD territory and how much is a response to the multitudinous small rejections that come from being different, from not being accepted during childhood?
I am hoping to gradually learn to sit with my emotions, to stop running from discomfort and to find real freedom.
I have been planning my first foray into the literary works. And my biggest idea involves joining the ranks of Adam Huber and White Lightning Productions; I want to write a webcomic. But with a partner who will do the art. My drawing skills...Aren't good. They're terrible.
The premise is your classic "roommates up to shenanigans." Only with supernatural creatures and magic. More:
The species' of my three leads. The Leader/Schemer is going to be a vampire. But I can't easily decide what the Dumb One and the Sane One should be. Should I make the Sane One human? Or would that lead to Unfortunate Implications? Should the Dumb One be a fairy or a Were? I may do the latter because I want to appeal to certain demographics.
Should they all be girls? All boys? Two boys and one girl?
Yes, I will steal stuff from other webcomics. Mostly the bad ones, so I can improve them.
A great example!
I was wondering if in Aspergers not having a job or something to do can make things worse? I used to work full-time in a highly functioning job but due to a severe Zoloft reaction (and temporary valium addiction) I had a nervous breakdown and lost my job. I was quite highly functioning with a job but now I'm depressed, addicted to my mobile phone and can't be bothered getting out of bed till early mid afternoon. I don't want to be like this and feel increasingly hopeless. Is this common with our disorder? Where could I go or what could I do to break free of this? Thankyou.
my hypothesis is that, when interacting with another:
Aspies focus on that which causes the least amount of pain and hurt, such as dedicating their energy towards their work or their art or a special interest. Doing so exasperates the party that is perceived as causing the pain and hurt, for which that party tends to apply more speaking/criticism/doubt (pain and hurt) because the aspie is not paying enough attention to the party and is not responding.
Almost like we'll do anything to avoid pain and hurt.
What are your thoughts?
I decided a few months ago to get an official diagnosis, and I want to tell you what I did and how it went in the hope it's useful to someone.
The reasons for going official were;
1. I want to get involved in neurodiversity movement and change things, and I felt a small nagging anxiety that I might not be autistic, and the late night voices told me I was a fraud. I got sick of the doubt.
2. I thought I may also be ADHD, and who knows what else, so things were a bit complicated, and I felt like I was full of swirling, whirling soup of disorders.
My plan of attack was to get a referral and then go out, all guns blazing with what I thought, what I'd found and researched.
This worked out very, and I had the perfect ADHD example on the way to the appointment where I took a wrong turn, and then went to the wrong building.
The Psychologist noticed the shutdowns that are plaguing me seem to be triggered by anxiety more than anything else, and that I definitely have ADHD on...
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