Blogs

Today marks 2 years alcohol free - time flies. I also lost the 2+ stone I gained from all those years being a drunk and living off takeaways. Haven't had a migraine since I quit drinking either. Whilst alcohol is a depressant, I'd say my depression has been worse since quitting alcohol. Progress is a slow burn, and whilst I've seen a lot of positive changes, being sober is no panacea. Still, I wouldn't ever want to go back. I didn't drink for a long time after my first experience drinking...

Been a while since I’ve posted on here. Haven’t really had the desire or motivation to do so. I tended to write blogs and be more active here when I was in the office at work. It broke up the day-to-day grind and helped me feel a bit more social when stuck in an office where I feel very isolated. This is the second week of working from home. Setup in my parents’ office now. It’s good to work from a desk again. I am more productive and less distracted now. He says, whilst writing a blog. I’m...

Unexpectedly, a bad ptsd episode resulted from a conversation at the lumber supply. I thought all I was doing was asking a guy, okay, an attractive guy, about his dog. I didn’t expect there to be much of a response, but words gushed out of him, like he was being examined & filmed for a screen test. And as usial for me when I’m overwhelmed by a social situation, I start copying the person. &:$:!*}€~#£¥<! Why can I NOT control this? OH right. Because I suck at social interaction. Because I...

I felt like I haven't even blinked and the entire year is over. My seasonal affective disorder is absolutely ruthless now that the sun is setting at four in the evening. I've been trying my hardest to practice my hobbies— journaling and tarot reading (yes really)— every day and so far. As for taking care of myself... it's been incredibly difficult. I take my medicine everyday because it's a habit, but I don't have any medicine that helps with endless binge eating and lack of impulse...

By the time the darkness of the night enveloped the little slow light left, taken over and proved its dominance over light and to prove again that light is not the fastest thing, to quote the brilliant Sir Terry Pratchett: “Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.” As the darkness progressed into full-fledged night, the very noisy moving picture box constituted...

Let's see. Mostly a normal morning today. Not in too bad of a mood, more on the meh, side. The drive to work this morning was also quite uneventful, barring the usual antics of taxi drivers here, no regard to road rules or anyone on the road. Always had problems with expressing or being able to identify emotions, not only in others but within my own mind. My psychologist send me the image below to help me with that. Guess, according to the above, I'm falling on the Insignificant/ Discouraged...

I hated picking up last night. Seemed far too obvious, 5pm in a city car park. Oh well, it's done within 5 seconds of him whizzing up to me on his e-scooter. But I didn't spend 5 seconds worrying about it. Try 5+ hours before this even happened. Been playing Phantasy Star Universe with Zak Mon-Wed. We only jump on voice chat for an hour or 90 mins. So it doesn't eat into my free time so much that I get stressed out or resentful about doing it. With winter nights I'm tired a lot quicker....

Now Figured I'd end the day with a short blog. Yesterday I didn't have a wake and bake. Got to worry feeling tired and downtrodden. On my lunch break I saw a woman with a dog. It was a very large staffie who was very friendly and let me make a big fuss of him. She said he was 11 years old but he seemed full of energy and moved around well. I needed that pet therapy - it really cheered me up. She asked to have a go on the staff, she spoke of having done something similar in the past, but it...

Monday, time for office mode... I stayed up late last night as I kinda resented how much overtime I'd been doing the past 2 weeks at work. Thought I'd make the most of my weekend, but this morning I'm absolutely shattered. I suppose that's to be expected. As the year has gone by I've been approaching burn out, and I think the past month or so I'm well and truly there. Yet I still had to keep pushing hard at work as we were at the end of the companies' financial year on the last week of...

I've made hundreds of recordings, but recently I've uploaded a few to my Youtube. Haven't deleted them (yet). So who knows, someone might find it interesting. Ed

Today is supposedly the day we'll get a date for the exchange of contracts on our house sale. The estate agent seemed confident enough to provide a day last week. When I rang her this morning she said that chasing the buyer's solicitor was "on her list" but that she hadn't got around to it yet. I tried ringing our solicitor but got no reply, so I sent an email. I stressed that we need this all complete before the end of the month as we're not paying a 3rd month of bills etc. for a house...

I vanished over the course of a couple months because I was feeling mentally unwell. Besides my autism, I suffer greatly with depression and anxiety. It's been a very rough year for me with the loss of my mother and COVID mutating. Genuinely I wish I could provide an interesting or substantial update for my life but nothing has happened except endless mental anguish. Yesterday my one and only friend and I tried to play a game online and only got upset when we lost and because I was being so...

Here's my next audioblog. It's nice having faster internet at the moment. Uploading to Youtube isn't as painful. Ed

Recorded a new audioblog that I'm going to get uploaded to my Youtube tonight. Part of me wonders if it might be worth making a new channel just for those. I made a few video recordings on my new phone and the 4k 60FPS camera quality is outstanding. Once my skin clears up a bit more on my face I might give a go at some video blogs too. Got to work at 06:15. I was up at 04:55. Had breakfast then drove to March. Checked on the house. The neighbour over the road is using our car space infront...