Blogs

It is strange I find myself in this place, writing this on a rather unexpected but perhaps obvious journey. I write with unease as it seems some find a desire to belong to the neurodriverse community a fashion statement. I understand the desire to belong to a group and that can be strong but I think most are just seeking to make sense of life and themselves. For me this began when my child was formally diagnosed. As I read mostly about childhood symptoms some of them rang as true for...

Alright. Today’s Monday. I’m on the train to my workplace. It’s jam-packed, people are speaking on their phones, there’s an entire school class in it and I can’t get to my earphones cause the train is too packed to reach for them in my backpack. I’m freaking out. Last night I couldn’t sleep well because my thoughts kept waking me up. I had to change outfits twice before leaving the house this morning because something was always not right. I am a university student who works as a student...

So, today, I'm just gonna ramble about a specific board game I've been into. Why? Because I bloody well can, that's why. Nobody can stop me. Well, maybe Batman could. Yeah, there's other hobbies I havent talked about yet, but they're a bit more difficult to do, so I'll hold off a bit till I've got photos and info sorted. For now... board games. Today's game is Too Many Bones. Sometimes I wonder how they come up with these names. Billed as a "dice-builder RPG", the game very clearly...

I have somewhat of a milestone to celebrate. I've been mentally stable and happy for over two months now, and it's been a while since that happened. I've been feeling like myself again and I haven't been myself for a long time. I enjoy life. I am hungry for new things. I enjoy music again. Hell, I dance and sing to music in my house. And secretly in my office, when no one is there yet, but that's beside the point ;) I have met my new psychiatrist, who will focus on keeping me stable and...

So, last time, I explained the basic Rubik's Cube. As well as my method: only 2 algorithms, but they are VERSATILE. They can be used in many ways... and on almost any puzzle. It's just a matter of figuring out HOW to use them, and making slight tweaks if needed. Which is good, because now things get funky. Case in point, the Megaminx: This intimidating thing is often the second puzzle for those into this hobby (well, those who are into it beyond just the speed aspect). Many more sides...

Okay. Time to talk a bit about hobby #2. This time, we enter the wild world of twisty puzzles. There's some crazy stuff in here, but let's start with the one that everyone knows, and in the process, I'll talk a bit about how I got into this. The original Rubik's Cube. Everyone knows what this thing is, and everyone knows just how it works. Scramble it up by twisting the different faces of the cube, and then attempt to get it back to it's starting state. Everyone knows that. And...

As I stare out the window fixated on what is beyond what I can see wishing that I could become a part of the beyond and disappear so that no one will be able to see me again I realise how looking out the window is like a metaphor for how I feel but also a great physical representation of what I am going through right now. I am trapped. Trapped inside my house unable to leave due to extreme amounts of anxiety about seeing people and the what ifs about what could happen. Trapped inside my...

People treat me different. It's in the tone of their voices the looks on their face. They look at me with pity.. and fill my head with lies because they are afraid I can't handle the truth. Heads up, autism doesn't mean stupid. It's a neurological phenomenon and mostly affects how I interact with others, controlling my emotions in a positive manner and over stimulation of any sort. people seem to think I can't understand what they are saying so they just talk about me when I am in ear...

History, Literature and Culture is a new group/thread I have started, for those of us interested in any of these three general subjects. The club is for everyone: Easy-to-access, and you don't have to formally sign up as a member to share your interests. The concept of the group is to find those with fellow interests in relation to history, literature and/or culture. The thread can be found here: History, literature and culture - "New club" The only rules are that the forum rules still...

Outside there fireworks go off, it is now the 4th hour of this going on and with the anxiety about going to bed increasing its getting too much. My body starts to feel uncomfortable, my stomach does flip flops as I think about the thing that's sitting on my bedside table, the light of my phone screen is getting brighter even as I turn it down to the lowest setting. Just as I think the fireworks are stopping for the night. Bang bang bang. More fireworks. My hands clamp over my ears and I...

Welcome back. Yet again, I am Misery. Yet again, I might instead be Scrap Baby. It depends on where you're entering this from as to which name you'll know me by. But whichever name I use here, it's still me ranting about whatever. This is just part 2 of the Big Board Game Rant Post Thing. Let's get right back to it: Pandemic: The Cure Here's something a bit simpler, yet no less brutal. What a strange looking thing, eh? The original Pandemic is a world-spanning game about racing to...

Welcome, whoever you are. I am Misery. Usually. I suppose it depends on where you're getting here from. It's possible that a few of you may know me as Scrap Baby. I suppose I have a few names, but right now, those two are most relevant. Right now, as I type this, this is entirely located on AutismForums. It's possible this may appear elsewhere as well. Who knows? I sure dont. I dont even know if anyone is going to read this. Yet I seem to be typing this anyway. How practical....

I find it so hard sometimes as a mother to be able to give good advice to my daughter. I don't think that aspies and nts see things the same way, or have similar coping strategies. Also I can't read her face to see what's wrong. Sometimes she'll give me a look, and I can tell she's trying to tell me something, but it just looks like a normal face to me. I feel like a failure as a mom at these times.

Actually I wanted to write a blog last week, when he's surprisingly seem happy in his daily life... for a week.. which sadly only lasts until last Sunday. After his previous work contract ended 2 weeks ago, he continued to come to the institution where I'm working (he's unpaid now; he's been here before too but unpaid). Since he's been here before, he managed to meet many people - people from the lab he's sitting in now, people from his home country, etc. He also started doing many of the...

It's been a while since my last blog post, and not without reason. My last post was in June, when I was gradually increasing my dosage of lithium while following a treatment program for anxiety. However, instead of becoming more stable, I was rapidly becoming more depressed, as well as experiencing severe side effects on lithium. My father in law dying in Februari and my grandfather unexpectedly dying in March sure as hell didn't help. The depression got so bad in a short time that by the...