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  1. "Friends" and Life

    I again just really need to vent One thing i've always really wanted but never really had is a proper friend. It's such a simple thing but seems so out of reach for some reason, Over the years i've had what i thought were friends but honestly they treated me like garbage, They used to lie about going out just to keep me away and things when i was younger purely because i was a little too quiet for them and they wanted more louder friends. Eventually i removed them all and tried to make...
  2. 5 Hours & 10 Minutes Daily

    My IPad screen time was up 31% this week. Ideally, I’d like to be at less than 2-3 hours daily & one day off completely a week. It’s a work in progress.
  3. The physical process of developing a generator

    Here is a running account of the process of posting a random generator idea that I have been working on. I don't trust doing all the work in the work area of the site, since the place has issues and frequently there are problems. I work on material in my mail drafts. That way it's saved. A couple years ago I had over 400 drafts. Currently I have 54. My goal for this year is to maintain no more than 50 at a time. ==== OK. I go to the draft on the subject matter I want to finish and post....
  4. Preface to> the physical process of developing a generator

    email to my friend: QUOTE It helps to be telling you what I am doing, because that way I am not just talking to myself. Although, pretty often I try to make sense for my *later self*/me who will read my own notes at another time, because I've figured out that it's ok to explain things to myself, as if I didn't know what was going on. Previously I had the silly idea that because I was me, I'd know what I was talking about, later. This I found to be incorrect. I have had to recount quilt...
  5. April 12 2019

    Hello people! How yaw doing? I'm good. The family reunion went great. This week has been a whirlwind. Can't remember Monday, Tues. I had NAMI, last night I saw some friends, today I'm running errands, and tomorrow I got my nephew's birthday party-he turns 8. So I'm doing good. Trying to find work through supported employment. I haven't heard from my employment agency on that end yet. But still I remain hopeful. As I mentioned in the last entry my mom died about a month ago and some days are...
  6. I Don't Want to Follow The Sheep.

    I'm sick of having all my hopes and ambitions dismissed, because nobody else wants to do that. I don't want to talk about memes all day everyday, i don't find that stuff funny all the damn time. I don't want to follow, i am sick of having peer pressure put on me. When now i just naturally resist it, i don't want to leave because everyone else wants to leave. I don't care if i look "Weird" i enjoy being the outsider now. I want to be an individual. Not some fool questioning my life everyday...
  7. Hey People!

    Hey People! I know it's been a long time since I blogged but a lot has been going on. Back in Dec, I broke up with my girlfriend because she wanted to date other people besides myself simultaneously and I'm not built 4 polyandry. Then on Feb 24 my mother passed away. So I have been grieveing both a lost relationship and my mother's death. About my gf: she took my virginity and that makes her have a special place in my heart. Don't get me wrong, her sexual shenanigans were hard to deal with...
  8. How to Help Your Autistic Child Thrive

    Autistic children face a lot of misunderstanding. You can trust me on that because I've been in the same position as your promising boy or girl is now. Just like your kid, I have autism. Just like your kid, I had parents who really wanted to help me, but didn't exactly know how. Just like your kid, I hated bedtime, even though I don't think that had anything to do with my autism. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I know what works and what doesn't for autistic children. Of course, not...
  9. April 2019 Daily Goals

    1) special project 2) self-hypnosis 3) declutter Having to switch gears again. Nothing to be done but push through, lean in: The special project will be done eventually, I think? Or I will just get really good at it with all the practice I’m getting. Who knows. The self-hypnosis is about mindfulness & noise sensitivity. The decluttering is culling my drawings. Routines are helping me.
  10. Food addiction sucks

    You know what the problem is with food addiction? Is that you can not stop eating completely unless you want to dye or unless you are a Saint. To stop an addiction you have to keep away from it right? How the hell do you do that with food? With food, extremes don't work: if you stop eating you dye, if you overeat you dye. ( I know we all have to dye some time but you get my point, I think) The only solution that I can see is: really go deep in the reasons you have an addiction, find the...
  11. Sleep Hygiene

    Before bed routine: Drink sleepy time tea Take magnesium supplement No screens in the sleeping area Eat banana & cottage cheese or hard boiled egg or other high tryptophan food
  12. House

    A neighbor may be selling their house in the near future. It’s too nice for me though. Even if I could buy it, don’t know that I could manage to reliably pay taxes & maintain it. It would be a shame to buy a property just to lose it over something small.