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Quiter's Syndrome

I know the title doesn't make sense, but it pertains to my habitual desire to quit before I even begin. I've taken to calling it Quiter's Syndrome.

Though humorous labling aside. I do consider this a serious issue within myself. Though the two major points that made me break to the point of quitting were dealing with my parents and dealing with a roommate I happened to like way more than I realized.

I have droned on before about my parents. So there is no sense repeating it here.

As for this roommate. That is not as easy to just justify as 'the person was a jerk'. Which he was. But I ended getting enamored with him and confused it with my want to be generally loved. I was never taught life lesson by parents, so I am finding out the hard way, NOW, that how I approached it was very bad.

There was nothing sexual, but he did use me for my money and play me for a fool. Wanting me to save my money when I wanted to spend on things that were needed, only to expect me to spend it all on him. He was lazy as **** too and hardly did much aside from sit around alot and snack, watch tv, and game. There have been a good few occasions that I would ask him to help with cleaning, for him to completely disregard it.

I think he knew my feels for him and took advantage of that. Though he didn't feel that way towards me anyway. Then when I get told by a friend to boot him out because he finally got me to see that my roommate was using me, I did. And the reaction I got was to be expected. He tried to say he wasn't trying to use me, but that was absolute bs.

The end result of it all though I think was the kicker. Because if my feelings for him. Having to do what I did crushed me. And instead of picking myself up, I fell into a deep depression and delved deeper into the videogame addiction I already had, to some capacity. Burying myself in gaming to hide my less than positive outlook on anything else. My soda addiction got worse too, I think. Glad I am off that soda train now...

But point being. I think the thing with my roommate was the catalyst that put me into full swing on quiting trying to do anything in life. Outside feeding myself, going to the bathroom, and sleeping. Nothing else hardly mattered.

I do wonder, while typing this, if I took on some of my roommate's traits. I figured to do it subconsciously to punish myself for something I had no idea would happen and couldn't help.


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