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Personal
Remembering you and the feelings i felt at the time. Loving you was like paradise to me, with its good and bad.
I felt like now that i know there is someone like you in the world, someone with a heart of gold i can bear all the unhappiness i will endure from now on. Maybe i idealized you too...
I grimaced as I slowly sat down in the cushioned chair next to the window in my room. The grey, evening mist swirled in the parking lot and around the drab houses and bare trees across from the hospital. I contemplated the ominous sound the doors had made when they locked behind me upon my...
Where is evil in the world.
Where is hatred in the word.
Hiding in the grass tight curled,
Or is it just a cost incurred.
In fact is it a real concept,
Or just a simple category.
Is it that we can't accept,
That we are just as predatory.
But then as we misunderstand,
That which we speak so...
Every time,
I add a line,
I look at it,
And think it's fine.
But when I add,
Another one,
I look above,
And see it's wrong!
In nineteen hundred and ninety nine,
Thinking I was doing fine.
I launched myself into the dark,
And found the...
As I become older I started to appreciate simple and basic tasks. My new idea is to start daily gymnasics and keep diet. I have a strong desire to do it.
I have started three days ago and I do like keep doing that. I believe it is good to my health and prise the Lord to give my that idea. I...
Racing racing through my brain,
Is there balance to maintain.
My thoughts a virtual food chain,
And nature never knows humane.
So anyway, I feed the beast,
Daily news at very least.
And even when I think off-piste,
My knowledgebase is still increased.
It seems that first it needed filling...
So I wrote a blog entry for the first time yesterday and I feel terrible about it. Actually I feel terrible about everything. Depression has set in on the eve of going back to work after I wrote such a glowing review of my current position. How will I get through the day? I know you can call in...
I've had two 9-5 jobs, but I don't think the first one really "counted" because I was working for my family, and they accepted me for me. But the first time I stepped out of the nest and tried a 9-5 with strangers, boy was I in for a wakeup call. For the first year I could basically stay a...
Nowadays i am always exhausted. I have a job but i still don't have any friends at work. The people around me seem so energetic and they do everything so fast. They seem to run on an instinctual path as opposed to me, stumbling in the dark barely seeing anything or understanding what anything...
My memory has a habit of failing me, I'd like for it to work, but it just eludes me half the time
I’m gonna be calling these entries ‘Day One’, ‘Day Two’, but it isn’t actually a day-by-day kind of thing. It’s more of sequencing each day of significance in my journey.
I would relish the opportunity to gather all the results of all my autism assessments and analyze them, compare them...
I guess when you experience everything alone, without having anyone to share your happiness and sadness you start to gaslight yourself into the thought that" its all in your head" your problems are not real,, your feelings are not real and its still not real when you cannot eat from anxiety and...
I've summarized this in my 'Introduce Yourself' post, which you can find here: What a relief!
This goes more into my mind about it all, though. Just about that first day. And, before I go on, Trigger Warning: suicide and grief.
I forget which day it was. From now until forever, I will...
The day started out bad but got better in the evening when my friend and her 5 yo daughter dropped by. She seems to like me even though i am not a particularly nurturing or empathetic person. Actually most children seem to like me for some strange reason. Maybe bc i am honest and childlike too...
I got made fun of by a family friend today, bc of my beliefs. Than another person chimes in talking about how someone famous wrote an article about how god doesn't exist and bla bla.
I guess, congratulations since you can stand this life without getting suicidal and hating yourself...
I love how this blog is a place where I can safely share my feelings and opinions (amidst anything online) and feel comfy without opening my mouth <3
It's been very therapuetic for me, and I wasn't expecting to genuinely enjoy it here so much (I joined it last year, not expecting to actually...
I just did an adorable happy stim which I have been doing barely any of lately!! Man this 1st of March is feeling great so far <3 I love happy stimming? What are your happy/self-regulatory stims?
Also, for some funny reason, I just got a huge boost of happiness and dopamine from looking on...
I've literally never blogged before, so I hope I'm doing this right. I'm leaving the comments on because I'd love to hear others' take on this topic as well; I just figured this was probably going to be a doozie of a post, and more of a long-format entry versus that of a regular thread...