• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Food

I am really beginning to wonder why I eat.

And no. I am not unaware that I, or anyone, eats to survive and stay strong. It's not about that.

It has to do with this psychological mindset I have been at battle with to overcome. I eat like I haven't eaten in weeks, months, or years. Not that I haven't eaten. But my behavior is such. I am messy and my focus is solely on the food and nothing else.

In someway it's like I am copping with food to avoid needing to interact with anyone. My upbringing had alot to do with it. Though with how I saw things, more than anything my parents did to spur it on. Like I associate food private time. "Leave me alone. I'm eating." The problem is that I never really got called out for my bad eating habits and manners. So I've alway ate that way in some way. Even in public where everyone can see how I eat.

I really haven't had much of anything to eat today out of disgust for my, what seems to be, insistent want to eat like a piggy child who doesn't know any better. Ironic, since I had my speel about it prolonged lack of eating being unhealthy in topic about forgetting to eat because of being on task.

I almost feel like I shouldn't eat, because it always seems to trigger that rude, immature, behavior. I am... unsure how to handle this.

Comments

Blog entry information

Author
Xinyta
Read time
1 min read
Views
165
Comments
1
Last update

More entries in General

  • Anglo Saxons
    I am looking to do a thesis at the end of my history degree ie: when all the coursework has been...
  • Feelings
    The feeling Of rain inside, the storm, the cold, the darkness. The need to keep the lights off...
  • Executive functioning
    Not that long ago, I found out what executive functioning means. Once I understood what it was...
  • I have an idea
    I have started looking into the idea of a dual layered system. Masking and a psychological...
  • Primary sources
    I submitted an assignment recently about primary sources re: Charlemagne's coronation (800CE)...

More entries from Xinyta

  • I have never let go
    I see my folly. I am afraid of the truth. I am afraid to face myself. I have never in my life...
  • I am my Stepmother
    This is a thing I need to admit to myself. No matter how much I despised her, I still took on...
  • Early Life part 2
    I do only remember bits and pieces of what happened. My dad found the woman who would be my...
  • Early Life
    I don't remember my birth, like many. Though I lack alot of memory in the few years after that...
  • Prelude
    Hate. No one has any idea how strong of an emotion it is. No one thinks about the pain that is...

Share this entry

Top Bottom