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Scary world-uglinessAlone By Edgar Allan Poe From childhood’s hour I have not been As others were—I have not seen As others saw—I could not bring My passions from a...- blue_bird
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Unreachable placeI know I'm months late to this, but I just saw your entry here. This is exactly why I have 一期一会 as my title here. It's a Japanese phrase that has...- Grondhammar
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Not deserving things - complicated feelingsI know what you mean about not wanting to bring others down. Hiding all that stuff is something I’ve done all my life. It seems impossible for me...- WhitewaterWoman
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There are alot of factors that either are traits of my parents or cause by them being horrible people:
- My response to being suggested logical considerations, is self-deprecation.
- My response to being called out, is throwing a tantrum.
- My response to life being the way it is, is fear.
-...
Woke up feeling quite refreshed. On my drive in I felt rather positive. Later in the morning I had soke missed calls, they wanted me to change shift on Sunday and work a round in central Cambridge. I'm not keen on the traffic and one of the clients, but I said yes as there's so clients who are...
If you want something investigated in the west end, you go to Mr. Ment the Patchwork P.I. He hates the nickname but let's his daughter Patty say it; he got because a case he worked on ended in a house fire resulting in major skin grafts for everything below his nose. You can file an appointment...
1487 days alcohol free, 13 days tobacco free, 7 days weed free.
Today is my only full day off this week. I had to contact work about my hours again, as 48 is my legal limit and I keep being given a lot more. This week it's 63.75 on the rota, but the actual time spent away from home will more...
I have found that hate has twisted my veiw on alot of things. It all starts with my hatred of my Stepmother. It ends with me hating just about everything else.
The core of it is mother issues. Never having a good one, let alone having one orginally in my life.
My Dad was and is absentee...
Today I went to the Zoo with my spouse - our local zoo is in Christmas mode, and there was a light cover of snow, so it was pretty, and the lion cubs were very cute :)
While i feel lonely sometimes, my oldest emotion is the want to be alone. Because when you are alone there is no shame. No disgusting other people and dirtying them.
When i think of the present time, this thought does not make much sense but it persists. Like all feelings i wont deny this one...
I think I've found a sense of drive that holds me looking forward. Or at least has me looking up.
Even though I missed a large portion of it. I watched the episodic documentary 'The Last Dance'. It's all about Michael Jordan and his journey to becoming the legend, being the legend, and...
There is a place in north Ohio called Oddship. A fairly large town, a city in the traditional sense. It has a pair of farms; one does chicken and apples, the other farm does cows and corn. There is not much in the way of pork, partly because there is fairy sized Jewish community. The other...
I am really beginning to wonder why I eat.
And no. I am not unaware that I, or anyone, eats to survive and stay strong. It's not about that.
It has to do with this psychological mindset I have been at battle with to overcome. I eat like I haven't eaten in weeks, months, or years. Not that I...
Got overloaded this morning, why is not as important for the story, but I kind of had to choose between crawling back under my weighted blanket or to listen to the professionals helping me in my life and go for a walk - The sun was shining so I opted for the last option - if the sun hadn't been...
Day 3 of no weed. As expected I'm more productive when not living in the fog. I think I'm at the week mark with no tobacco. The past couple of days, when visiting one of the clients, the live-in carer has gone for a cigarette and offered me one several times. I find it easy enough to say no when...
For a very long time, I have felt trapped by the situation I was in growing up. But the truth is, I wasn't as trapped as I made myself believe. The only real trap was the lies I told myself. That I am in a hopeless situation. My stepmother despised me. My father never was around as much as I...