• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Rena's Golden Land

Status
Some entries in this blog are private, only viewable by the blog owner, blog entry owner/co-owners/contributors and staff.
AprilR
1 min read
Views
43
Reaction score
1
Personal
I can honestly say that my childhood has been horrible. Trying to live all alone without anyone to depend on was horrible. Parenting your own parents, along with yourself and being their marriage counselor was horrible. Being all alone with my problems and suicidal thoughts was horrible...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
255
Comments
2
Personal
Nowadays i am feeling calm and accepting of what fate has in store with me. I still have the fear of suicide deep inside me but even that does not make me anxious. I will try to endure what life will bring me and i pray it won't be too painful. What i want to stop doing is making extra effort...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
61
Personal
I went to a concert yesterday. It was a band from my childhood, that i disliked in the past bc it reminded me of my childhood years. Somehow, i actually liked one of the songs. I was listening to it today, again. Today reading about the love between the solist and his girlfriend. The song he...
AprilR
2 min read
Views
99
Personal
Lately i have been having worries about marriage because it is a big thing where i live. Both culturally and religion wise it is recommended to marry. My family thankfully does not pressure me about this but my friend who comes from a traditional family does. And i have worries about getting old...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
94
Personal
Today a relative came over to our house. He was talking about his girlfriend. His girlfriend is an abnormal person whom i suspect to be autistic. He mentioned that she has no friends, always talks badly about people and has bad family relations. I do not know if she is autistic but she is also...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
143
Reaction score
1
Personal
There is someone i like, and it makes it harder to move to another city. Although i have applied to a lot of Jobs and have had no response so far. Living in another city without support is scary. And the person i like, i don't even know what to think about him. He has qualities i admire...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
98
Reaction score
1
Personal
The world was empty for her. No matter where she looked, there was nothing for the things inside her. She kept on working, studying, changing her shape to adapt and surviving. And sometimes something good came to her, and went. But she somehow knew the things and people that came were not there...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
104
Reaction score
1
Personal
Good things come to those who wait. I hope this is true. I hope when my life ends i dont feel scared or sad. I want to feel salvation from this life's pain and worries
AprilR
1 min read
Views
114
Reaction score
2
Personal
I honestly feel like i am not fit for any kind of relationship or even friendship. I don't have much in common with people i come across with, and when i get attached i idealize that person so much i don't even notice when i am treated unfairly. And when the person don't share what they feel and...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
591
Reaction score
1
Comments
2
General
I feel like i am just deluding myself that i am a worthy person whatever. If my mom did know my dad was aspergers she probably would not even marry him. She prob. Did it out of pity anyway. I should not have existed. Maybe even my faith is just bc i am scared of going to hell if i commit...
AprilR
2 min read
Views
966
Comments
30
Personal
I knew of a few people who treat intelligence above any other character trait. My dad was raised in such a family, he was called a retard and that he would not be able to get good marks on the university exams. He still speaks so proudly that he got first place and how that "showed his dad" But...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
85
Personal
So my headache has lessened a little but still have nausea and fatigue. I am def. going swimming tomorrow though, i will not back out again! Apart from that, i am still waiting for a while before i find another job bc i am still scared they will call my employer and he will be displeased with...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
96
Personal
I was going to clean the house today but i dont feel the energy really. I had a dream about my ex friend again and coupled with the stress of the last few days it was the last straw. My stomach was in knots all day and i cried a lot. I am feeling a bit better but i think i will do the cleaning...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
278
Reaction score
1
Comments
5
Personal
I never did. When i was a Child i dreamt that my family was not my real family and that my real family died in a fire. They would someday come to get me. As an adult i taught myself everything, things that my parents and school system never did. I relied on myself to change myself so people...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
123
Reaction score
1
General
I live with fear evrryday. Fear that people will use and abuse me. They will cheat me. That they are hiding their true nature behind smiley faces. I am so scared of people. No one is beside me and i am so scared. I don't want to live if i will only experience pain in my life. My parents never...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
86
Personal
I called my only friend yesterday because i was feeling too awful and i thought maybe it will feel me better. As usual she did not respond. I am always alone when i am feeling awful, that will never change. If i did not have a therapist and my faith i would have committed suicide long ago...

Blog information

Author
AprilR
Blog entries
69
Last update

Share this blog

Top Bottom