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Day 1 of 5

Woke up feeling quite refreshed. On my drive in I felt rather positive. Later in the morning I had soke missed calls, they wanted me to change shift on Sunday and work a round in central Cambridge. I'm not keen on the traffic and one of the clients, but I said yes as there's so clients who are nice and I haven't seen in a long time.

Messaged the escort to meet on Thursday next week. Meeting for 90 mins instead of 60 mins like last time. It's nice to spend longer with someone. She sounded excited to hear from me, mind you we connected sexually very well together - and she praised my talents. So I think the excitement to meet is definitely mutual.

It's interesting that up until me and Kristy broke up, I had a lot of anxiety around sexual stamina. Wasn't premature, but I wanted to last longer. Now I've noticed I can last as long as I please, and I have to actively decide and then focus on when to climax. Strange how things have changed. Mind you, I've hit my stride and confidence has been very strong. So much so that I'm receiving a lot of praise from people on my techniques and abilities. Which is a nice confidence boost. Its nice to be in the present when it comes to making love.

I must admit that with my last girlfriend I had some anxiety around being able to climax. It was effortless for her and it'd happen again and again. But it had me too focused on pleasing her, rather than being in the moment. And struggling with being present reminded me a bit of being on SSRI's and having difficulty ejaculating. Ah well, live and learn.

I guess being told by many people that I'm great at sex is a confidence boost as well as playing to my people pleasing nature. This escort I'm seeing told me last time that she was surprised I didn't have a girlfriend. Mind you, that's a common statement with clients at work and escorts. But my choice in women has never been that great.

Did my weekly shop on my lunch break. I was running late this morning and on my lunch calls. Giving each visit a little extra time, but it all adds up. Normally I'm rushing nonstop from one client to the next.

Still, my food shop is cleaner than it has been in the past. Some fruit, healthier snacks. Still not amazing, but better than it was. Plus, if I stay hydrated enough it should help. I got some vit D supplements too. Popped one in my mouth then realised they're dispersible. The big fizz, and now the big burps.

Nothing else new to report. I'm hoping to go to bed once I get home. It'll leave no time for any free time, but it is what it is. I need plenty of sleep to do these 5 days. Normally I give myself an hour or so in the evenings, but the exhaustion builds and its cumulative, and by the end I'm absolutely exhausted and feel horrific for it.

Anyway, that's me. I've got about 30 mins before I start the tea calls. I'm going to pop to the toilet at the retirement apartments. Much like in my office jobs, a bathroom is a mini sanctuary. Whilst some toilets in office jobs I had were pretty terrible, the one at this residential community is decent.

Nearly finished Breaking Bad as well. It's a very good series, and I wish to watch El Camino for the first time, and then finish Better Call Saul.

Well, that's me done for now.

Ed

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