Ramble ramble

While i feel lonely sometimes, my oldest emotion is the want to be alone. Because when you are alone there is no shame. No disgusting other people and dirtying them.

When i think of the present time, this thought does not make much sense but it persists. Like all feelings i wont deny this one.

Another thought i have is that you should not have so many expectations. You can want and hope for lots of things but the world is finite. People's empathy and understanding is also finite. Pushing the limits of people's compassion, begging for attention and love is pitiful and disgusting. It feels dirty to me