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Scary world-uglinessAlone By Edgar Allan Poe From childhood’s hour I have not been As others were—I have not seen As others saw—I could not bring My passions from a...- blue_bird
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Unreachable placeI know I'm months late to this, but I just saw your entry here. This is exactly why I have 一期一会 as my title here. It's a Japanese phrase that has...- Grondhammar
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Not deserving things - complicated feelingsI know what you mean about not wanting to bring others down. Hiding all that stuff is something I’ve done all my life. It seems impossible for me...- WhitewaterWoman
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Just to preface this for those who are unaware or are thrown off by my profile pic. I am male. A very confused male trying to find his way.
I am starting to believe from my behaviors, and actions, that I might be gay. The only thing putting a monkey wrench in that certainty is a lack of sexual...
I’m learning to plan my days with a better internal locus of control by giving myself options then asking Ziggy (aka Alexa) to pick a number to decide which option I pick. Here are the options:
Sunny Day Plans:
1. Rollerskate
2. Basketball
3. Long walk
Rainy Day Plans:
1. Draw
2. Write a poem...
No one ever helps no one can see how much difficulty i am having. I cannot do this anymore. I can't live with the fear of not being able to find another job. I thought i could make it without working but i developed ocd and life was hell with it. I need something to distract me but this job is...
Does anyone else have an unusual fear of water like me? I also fear sponges because they stink and it’s like I can feel the little bacteria critters and mold and mildew seeping into my pores when I touch it. I use yellow rubber gloves to touch sponges but the gloves also have a bad smell that I...
I had a meltdown when I was in an airport overnight waiting for the next days flight. I remember feeling fine one minute then completely lost and afraid the next and in the moment I didn’t even realize I was banging my head on the glass because my meltdown had escalated past logic. The cops took...
2-5-24
I remember being in this big assembly room and I was sitting with my classmates when this girl that was really pretty came to sit next to me. I remember telling her that no one would like her if she liked me and that it was ok because she didn’t have to be my friend. I understood back...
2-4-24
I have the hardest time sitting through a movie especially before dark. I end up pausing it to pace my room or call someone. I didn’t go to church today because I still don’t feel emotionally adjusted after my break in routine. Interesting how one break in routine leads to a domino...
2-2-24
I can’t seem to plan my day the day of…only in advance and since I didn’t plan today I can’t motivate myself to get out of bed.
2-1-24
Since I changed my routine by cancelling all my plans today I shutdown completely and slept all day and didn’t feel like listening to music or watching a movie. It’s 5:49pm now so I’m going to force myself to watch a movie and invite over a friend to make my dinner because I really can’t...
2-1-24
I woke up wanting to go back to sleep. Why do I always get up at 7am? I stayed up til midnight watching a movie called Let There Be Light on Prime Freevee. Also the sun wasn’t coming in the windows and the room wasn’t the right temperature. So I turned off the fan. Then my feet felt too...
1-31-24
My test revealed that I have a hard time with sequencing and following steps. I can relate to this because I can’t cook for this reason. I have to watch someone cook and memorize what they do but it’s only good for short term memory so I lose it over and over again. Then I just always...
1-31-24
Today I decided to take the bus to church instead of my usual ride from a church member. I recently found that there was a bus that would drop me off right in front of the church if I took a bus instead of the trolley. I don’t have a car and I find the fast pace of driving to be scary...
1-30-24
Yesterday. 1-29-24. I got my results back from my official test with an autism specialist. She said the results are in, you are Autistic 100%!
She started by asking how I’m doing and it confused me so I asked for clarification. I said you mean as an autistic person what is my latest...
Once in a while i get back to my old obsessions and some ships just captivate me. Like, Takumi/Reira. Childhood friends turned lovers? Us against the world? Brooding man/gentle girl? It has everything and more.
It is about a horrible person who is completely aware of what he is and makes no...
It's a mistake to filter a diverse range of important communications through email. Currently, I use email to:
1) manage bills and accounts registered online
2) maintain contacts for professional activities and networking
3) receive newsletters, product information, and updates for various...
The voices echo.
The very actions of people seem all against you.
Yet it all doesn't exist.
Negativity warps thoughts.
Anxiety warps perception.
Depression warps reality.
The darkness lurking in the subconscious, is like a imp whispering foul obscenities into your ear.
It traps our...
I know the title doesn't make sense, but it pertains to my habitual desire to quit before I even begin. I've taken to calling it Quiter's Syndrome.
Though humorous labling aside. I do consider this a serious issue within myself. Though the two major points that made me break to the point of...