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Rainy days mess up my routines.

2-1-24

I woke up wanting to go back to sleep. Why do I always get up at 7am? I stayed up til midnight watching a movie called Let There Be Light on Prime Freevee. Also the sun wasn’t coming in the windows and the room wasn’t the right temperature. So I turned off the fan. Then my feet felt too hot so I put them on top of the blanket and kicked my covers restlessly. Then I heard the rain. I hate water.

I remembered it’s my day to shower and go do puzzles with the elderly at a nursing home but getting wet makes me want to cancel my whole day. So I’m laying here typing this and brainstorming what to do. I hate water for so many reasons. I hate the feeling of skin that’s tight and dry. I hate the irritation and redness. I itch constantly after a shower. I’m part Irish so I have extremely sensitive skin and mix that with sensory overload and taking a shower can sometimes give me so much anxiety that showers become dangerous. I have passed out in the shower on many occasions. I also can’t stand being cold so I turn it up hot but once it turns cold on it’s own I pass out. I hate the snow too.

After a shower I don’t want a towel or floor cushion to touch me because they stink and what’s the point of a shower if you dry off with a stinky towel or step on a stinky floor cushion. And I wash my towel weekly but even when I would wash my towel daily I would struggle with the scent. My hair needs conditioner so I should really take a shower. Is there such a thing as dry conditioner? I use a crystal dry eraser to shave so I don’t need water. I also clean my secret parts with peppermint oil to smell good because I don’t bathe often enough so essentially I take daily oil baths. I also wash my face with baby oil then dry it with a towel. I think I’ll cancel my plans to do puzzles on account of the rain. I’ll just stay home and write out my church notes for today.

Maybe I’ll put off a shower for another day or two. I don’t have any solid plans til Sunday and I can isolate in my house or wear a head scarf again. I only shower once or twice a week but it really takes a lot of motivation and rainy days are so demotivating. Maybe I can go back to bed. I’ll call to cancel puzzles and go to bed and see if I wake up right the second time. Or I could go eat. My tummy is grumbling. I wish I could make eggs and pancakes but I can only make cereal and milk. Maybe I can have eggs and pancakes for dinner if I can convince my friend to come over tonight and make them for me. I sound so lazy and so gross but this is what it’s like to have autism.

I got a call from my friend so I asked for pancakes and eggs and she said she will just buy me a sandwich so I rushed to clean my apartment. I had been so averse to water the night before that I didn’t even wash my dishes. I don’t use dish soap either because it soaks into my pores and smells bad for days. And I get all the water off my hands tediously with a towel every time I wash dishes, between each finger. Then I smell my hands and if they stink I use white Dove bar soap and dry them tediously again. Bar soap feels like bleach on my hands and dries them out but it smells nice and reminds me of childhood. Rainy days are the worst days for showers because the humidity makes a perfect growing place for mold and mildew and when it’s sunny the sun evaporates the water. Also on sunny days the puddle in the bathroom evaporates.

Comments

I notice a tendency to avoid soiled things. Thats not a bad thing of course, but it sounds like it is overly affecting you. Two examples of that being avoiding something that you need or should do and also the unpleasent negative thoughts it is creating in your mind. It's not rare btw, and often generically called germaphobe.

I have some of that as well but I did find a few facts I have learned along the way helpful in making me relax when handling normal everyday items (sponges, dirty dishes, clothes, leftovers, etc)

The basic point is some exposure to common germs is actually good for children and I will add not entirely out of the question for adults too. It strengthens, perhaps exercises your immune system and makes you less likely to get allergies, infections and perhaps other illnesses as well.

Some examples.

Hand washing dishes is better for kids then dishwashers.

Dishwashers or hand-washing? Science settles the score

Kids raised with dogs are healthier

5 Advantages for Kids Who Grow Up With Dogs

Dogs are a special interest of mine so I can really go on about them, but to add some detail to the above, humans have about 8000 different normal and nearly always benign microrganisms on them. Some serve important functions (ie gut bacteria). A house dog has about 12,000 different ones and a dog that is outside for extended periods about 16,000. So a baby playing with a dog that's outside a lot gets exposure to twice as many organisms and can learn to deal with them. Most all dog germs aren't really harmful. I sleep with up to 4 of them. I love it. Talk about relaxing and stress relief. Wife isn't as keen. ;)

Kids who play in mud are healthier.

Mud Play for Kids: Why It's Worth the Mess

For me, its helped me relax about the common garden variety germs and think they might even be helping (no hard evidence on that for adults - just kids). I've even been silly and rubbed my hand purposely on moldy tree bark while out working in the yard. Really its just a few very hardcore germs you have to avoid, like with food poisoning and be careful not to roll in the mud with open cuts, etc.
 
I notice a tendency to avoid soiled things. Thats not a bad thing of course, but it sounds like it is overly affecting you. Two examples of that being avoiding something that you need or should do and also the unpleasent negative thoughts it is creating in your mind. It's not rare btw, and often generically called germaphobe.

I have some of that as well but I did find a few facts I have learned along the way helpful in making me relax when handling normal everyday items (sponges, dirty dishes, clothes, leftovers, etc)

The basic point is some exposure to common germs is actually good for children and I will add not entirely out of the question for adults too. It strengthens, perhaps exercises your immune system and makes you less likely to get allergies, infections and perhaps other illnesses as well.

Some examples.

Hand washing dishes is better for kids then dishwashers.

Dishwashers or hand-washing? Science settles the score

Kids raised with dogs are healthier

5 Advantages for Kids Who Grow Up With Dogs

Dogs are a special interest of mine so I can really go on about them, but to add some detail to the above, humans have about 8000 different normal and nearly always benign microrganisms on them. Some serve important functions (ie gut bacteria). A house dog has about 12,000 different ones and a dog that is outside for extended periods about 16,000. So a baby playing with a dog that's outside a lot gets exposure to twice as many organisms and can learn to deal with them. Most all dog germs aren't really harmful. I sleep with up to 4 of them. I love it. Talk about relaxing and stress relief. Wife isn't as keen. ;)

Kids who play in mud are healthier.

Mud Play for Kids: Why It's Worth the Mess

For me, its helped me relax about the common garden variety germs and think they might even be helping (no hard evidence on that for adults - just kids). I've even been silly and rubbed my hand purposely on moldy tree bark while out working in the yard. Really its just a few very hardcore germs you have to avoid, like with food poisoning and be careful not to roll in the mud with open cuts, etc.
It has more to do with smell than germs.
 

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Author
Lilacleia16
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