My boyfriend is threatening to dump me because of me getting medical guardianship. Is that reasonable?

[Judge]

I am definitely not mentally incapacitated clearly. So I don’t understand why they are doing this? Doesn’t make sense!

Agreed. For what it's worth, I think you come across to us rather well. Which may prove to be of great value in communicating your case with legal support.

Unfortunately I suspect many parents with autistic children are guilty of being overprotective, "helicopter- parents". And don't realize they may have gone too far, especially with adult children.

 

[JayLapointe]

Either way though, what do you want to do? Do you want them to have medical guardianship? If not, I don't see how they could legally. I mean, even when I was living with my folks I still had 100% capacity over my own health care.

If they are your legal guardians though, you might have to have a doctor define you as capable of making your own medical decisions. I would think it's similar to when someone is under a guardianship but they want their own independence. I don't know exactly how it works - I'm sure each state is different.

All her parents would need to do is convince a judge she isn't mentally fit. Then it's legal guardianship.

Similar thing happened to my aunt before she passed away. She lived in another province, had some medical issues related to schizophrenia, went to a hospital and came out "unfit" and placed under a court appointed legal guardian. Took her years but eventually she was able to fight it and be found competent, only to pass away about a month later.

@dancerxoxo123 I think you need to answer this question for yourself, not for us. Do you want to be placed under your parents legal guardianship as an Adult? If the answer is no, then you'll be wanting to talk to a lawyer. The problem though is you still live at home, depending on how things play out you could potentially end up having to leave home. Would you be ok with that?

What I worry about it, is a potential scenario where your parents get legal guardianship, you stay with your boyfriend, get pregnant, and your parents decide on your behalf to terminate. Sounds to me like a nightmarish scenario.

As for your IQ don't let that worry you. I've known plenty of folks with similar scores that have lead perfectly happy and independent lives.

 

[Judge]

All her parents would need to do is convince a judge she isn't mentally fit. Then it's legal guardianship.

Probably the most urgent reason for her to seek professional legal representation in such a matter.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

All her parents would need to do is convince a judge she isn't mentally fit. Then it's legal guardianship.

Similar thing happened to my aunt before she passed away. She lived in another province, had some medical issues related to schizophrenia, went to a hospital and came out "unfit" and placed under a court appointed legal guardian. Took her years but eventually she was able to fight it and be found competent, only to pass away about a month later.

@dancerxoxo123 I think you need to answer this question for yourself, not for us. Do you want to be placed under your parents legal guardianship as an Adult? If the answer is no, then you'll be wanting to talk to a lawyer. The problem though is you still live at home, depending on how things play out you could potentially end up having to leave home. Would you be ok with that?

What I worry about it, is a potential scenario where your parents get legal guardianship, you stay with your boyfriend, get pregnant, and your parents decide on your behalf to terminate. Sounds to me like a nightmarish scenario.

As for your IQ don't let that worry you. I've known plenty of folks with similar scores that have lead perfectly happy and independent lives.

No I don’t want to be put under guardianship. Why they are like this. I am pretty sure I am still able to have children under guardianship and it wouldn’t allow it to force me to have an abortion right?

 

[cooljethro]

It would be reasonable for a person to consider splitting with someone because they were becoming legally less responsible for themselves, especially if you haven't been together for long.

"Threatening" to split is something else though and sounds manipulative.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

Probably the most urgent reason for her to seek professional legal representation in such a matter.

Why wouldn’t my parents think I am legally fit when I am? If I was legally unfit I would be dumber then I am and not able to write sentences? How would you know that? I am going to get an attorney asap because I am capable and NOT mentally challenged. Medical Guardianship is only for people who are mentally challenged right?

 

[dancerxoxo123]

It would be reasonable for a person to consider splitting with someone because they were becoming legally less responsible for themselves, especially if you haven't been together for long.

"Threatening" to split is something else though and sounds manipulative.

Yeah but this means I won’t have a boyfriend ever because I have to be on medical guardianship. Isn’t that for the mentally challenged because I am not mentally challenged at all. I need to fight weather my parents like it or not?

 

[Crossbreed]

Should I get an attorney?

You should already have a Guardian Ad Litem appointed to you.

 

[Judge]

Why wouldn’t my parents think I am legally fit when I am? If I was legally unfit I would be dumber then I am and not able to write sentences? How would you know that? I am going to get an attorney asap because I am capable and NOT mentally challenged. Medical Guardianship is only for people who are mentally challenged right?

No argument there. Plus you're employed holding down a job.

The party who is requesting medical guardianship is for anyone who proves their case as a matter of civil law to the authorities and medical examiners. Whether it's fair or accurate- or neither. Yet another reason you need legal support. To be able to disagree with whatever flawed medical reasoning is used against you.

"In an adult guardianship, the legal guardian makes decisions for incapacitated or disabled adults. Guardianships can be necessary for adults who, due to conditions like severe mental illness, developmental disabilities, or sudden incapacities, cannot make informed decisions about their personal care or financial matters."

https://www.findlaw.com/family/guardianship/guardianship-of-incapacitated-or-disabled-persons.html

 

[JayLapointe]

Medical Guardianship is only for people who are mentally challenged right?

It is for people who can not make informed decisions for themselves. Either because they are mentally challenged to the extent it is an impediment, or because they are so injured they cannot make decisions for themselves, like a person struck by a car and in a coma.

Is it possible your parents are doing this because they just don't truly appreciate how capable you are? They may still view you as the child you once were and are having difficulties accepting you are an adult now. It doesn't help that you live at home, for the record I live with my parents too. But I moved out for a decade and came home much later and now help to take care of my parents as they are elderly. But in your case never having moved out, your parents have never had that transition of having to think of you as a full fledged independent adult. I hope that makes sense. Have you sat down with your parents and really tried to explain that you feel competent and that you don't think this is a good move?

 

[dancerxoxo123]

It is for people who can not make informed decisions for themselves. Either because they are mentally challenged to the extent it is an impediment, or because they are so injured they cannot make decisions for themselves, like a person struck by a car and in a coma.

Is it possible your parents are doing this because they just don't truly appreciate how capable you are? They may still view you as the child you once were and are having difficulties accepting you are an adult now. It doesn't help that you live at home, for the record I live with my parents too. But I moved out for a decade and came home much later and now help to take care of my parents as they are elderly. But in your case never having moved out, your parents have never had that transition of having to think of you as a full fledged independent adult. I hope that makes sense. Have you sat down with your parents and really tried to explain that you feel competent and that you don't think this is a good move?

Yeah I explained to them that I am competent and able to make my own decisions and they did not listen to me. This sucks. I am only high functioning autistic. My mom said it can be for autistic people.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

No argument there. Plus you're employed holding down a job.

The party who is requesting medical guardianship is for anyone who proves their case as a matter of civil law to the authorities and medical examiners. Whether it's fair or accurate- or neither. Yet another reason you need legal support. To be able to disagree with whatever flawed medical reasoning is used against you.

"In an adult guardianship, the legal guardian makes decisions for incapacitated or disabled adults. Guardianships can be necessary for adults who, due to conditions like severe mental illness, developmental disabilities, or sudden incapacities, cannot make informed decisions about their personal care or financial matters."

https://www.findlaw.com/family/guardianship/guardianship-of-incapacitated-or-disabled-persons.html

I had a developmental disability. I was diagnosed with high functioning autism and possibly Bipoalr 2. That’s probably where the impulsivity came from which is why they are giving me guardianship. What should I do about this? They explained to me that they are giving me medical guardianship because they think I need extra “support” at the doctors office when I am perfectly capable of doing it on my own. Why are they treating me like a child? They told me they aren’t doing this to punish me and they told me I am still able to have children. She said it’s like extra help. She said it’s not being used to control me but Mabye she said it to make me feel better?

 

[dancerxoxo123]

You should already have a Guardian Ad Litem appointed to you.

What does that mean?

 

[Judge]

I had a developmental disability. I was diagnosed with high functioning autism and possibly Bipoalr 2. That’s probably where the impulsivity came from which is why they are giving me guardianship. What should I do about this? They explained to me that they are giving me medical guardianship because they think I need extra “support” at the doctors office when I am perfectly capable of doing it on my own. Why are they treating me like a child? They told me they aren’t doing this to punish me and they told me I am still able to have children. She said it’s like extra help. She said it’s not being used to control me but Mabye she said it to make me feel better?

Good questions, but perhaps critical ones for your legal support to deal with. How all this is interpreted either for or against you remains a legal matter for medical and legal professionals to negotiate over.

 

[Crossbreed]

What does that mean?

In a conventional guardian case, they assign you an attorney (called a Guardian Ad Litem) to look after your interests.

If you can talk (as you can), they listen to you.
Even for clients that cannot talk, they oppose the terms of the guardianship that are not in the ward's best interest. You can almost think of them as "defense" attorneys of family court.

For all of your concerns stated here, see if you can talk to your Guardian Ad Litem.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

In a convention guardian case, they assign you an attorney (called a Guardian Ad Litem) to look after your interests.

If you can talk (as you can), they listen to you.
Even for clients that cannot talk, they oppose the terms of the guardianship that are not in the ward's best interest. You can almost think of them as "defense" attorneys of family court.

For all of your concerns stated here, see if you can talk to your Guardian Ad Litem.

Ok yeah I will definitely speak to them. So when the guardianship is in court they will say I don’t qualify? And I don’t want my parents to fight with them because clearly I do not qualify and they need to get over this. They need to get over that I am capable of making my own medical decisions and I don’t qualify for guardianship.

 

[Crossbreed]

Ok yeah I will definitely speak to them. So when the guardianship is in court they will say I don’t qualify? And I don’t want my parents to fight with them because clearly I do not qualify and they need to get over this. They need to get over that I am capable of making my own medical decisions and I don’t qualify for guardianship.

The GAL represents your interests in the matter. The final decision on whether you are placed under a guardianship or not --and how strict its terms are-- is decided by a judge.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

The GAL represents your interests in the matter. The final decision on whether you are placed under a guardianship or not --and how strict its terms are-- is decided by a judge.

What if the judge decides that I would need guardianship when I do not? They most likely won’t agree with giving me medical guardianship because I am so high functioning autistic that you can’t be able to tell? And I am able to go to my doctor appointments by myself and able to decide what is best for me. I’m clearly not mentally challenged. I should speak to the judge beyond my behalf right?

 

[Crossbreed]

What if the judge decides that I would need guardianship when I do not?

There is no guarantee that his/her decision will meet with your approval. That is the nature of court cases.

I should speak to the judge beyond my behalf right?

That is the GAL's job. Besides considering your desires in this case, they can offer supporting legal arguments on your behalf.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

There is no guarantee that his/her decision will meet with your approval. That is the nature of court cases.

That is the GAL's job. Besides considering your desires in this case, they can offer supporting legal arguments on your behalf.

Ok. What legal arguments can they support on my befalf?