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My boyfriend is threatening to dump me because of me getting medical guardianship. Is that reasonable?
- Thread starter dancerxoxo123
- Start date
cooljethro
Well-Known Member
From what you have described already in this thread, both the casual sex with lots of men you have met online and the bipolar type II diagnosis, it seems to me that the guardianship would probably be attempted on the grounds that you are emotionally unstable and that could lead you to be put in dangerous situations where you are extra vulnerable, such as when you might be manic with bipolar and having sex perhaps with strangers?
For some people with bipolar, they need their finances managed because they go on major spending sprees that are not financially wise or sustainable.
There are lots of angles to this situation that go beyond the measure of being able to write coherently.
cooljethro
Well-Known Member
It doesn't take a genius to see what problems a parent with a lower than average IQ might have, along with having a mental health disorder that makes them emotionally unstable, even if not at all times.
What if you are "not yourself" with your mental health, i.e, manic, and you leave your kids unattended when they can't look after themselves or something like that? That is the sort of thing your parents will be worrying about.
What if you are "not yourself" with your mental health, i.e, manic, and you leave your kids unattended when they can't look after themselves or something like that? That is the sort of thing your parents will be worrying about.
Ok. I have some professional experience in this area in the state of Florida. I offer them here to give you a framework for reference. Your state or country will be different.
1. If you are an adult, you do not get a guardian ad litem, which in Florida is assigned as a child advocate and may not be a real lawyer. As an adult, you would get a real lawyer. If you don’t have money to pay for one, the court will appoint for you the Regional Counsel, which is a lawyer who knows your rights and will speak on your behalf in any guardianship hearing. You indicated you have a lawyer. If you do have a lawyer, she will be able to answer most of your questions.
2. Mental health diagnoses cannot be used as a legal reason for guardianship.
3. Your IQ could be taken into consideration, but is not the deciding factor. In Florida you would have to have 3 separate evaluations, one by an MD, one by an RN and one by a social worker. The court relies heavily on these evaluations, not testimony from your parents.
4. The right to raise your own children is not a right that can be removed from a parent by guardianship. Parental rights of minor children can be removed only by the court for abuse or neglect.
5. Based on what you have written here, it is unlikely your parents or anyone else would get the right to make medical decisions for you. So my guess is your parents are threatening you with this in order to make you do what they want. Or they are hoping you will sign paperwork giving them the right to make medical decisions.
6. All adults have the right to make decisions that are viewed poorly by others, even ones that are detrimental to health. Think smoking, for example. Or a poor diet. Or frequent, casual sex, with or without protection and/or birth control.
Your interests are best served by getting a lawyer and listening to what she says and take her recommendations very seriously.
Regarding your boyfriend: Anyone who deserts you when you’re having a tough time is not a keeper.
1. If you are an adult, you do not get a guardian ad litem, which in Florida is assigned as a child advocate and may not be a real lawyer. As an adult, you would get a real lawyer. If you don’t have money to pay for one, the court will appoint for you the Regional Counsel, which is a lawyer who knows your rights and will speak on your behalf in any guardianship hearing. You indicated you have a lawyer. If you do have a lawyer, she will be able to answer most of your questions.
2. Mental health diagnoses cannot be used as a legal reason for guardianship.
3. Your IQ could be taken into consideration, but is not the deciding factor. In Florida you would have to have 3 separate evaluations, one by an MD, one by an RN and one by a social worker. The court relies heavily on these evaluations, not testimony from your parents.
4. The right to raise your own children is not a right that can be removed from a parent by guardianship. Parental rights of minor children can be removed only by the court for abuse or neglect.
5. Based on what you have written here, it is unlikely your parents or anyone else would get the right to make medical decisions for you. So my guess is your parents are threatening you with this in order to make you do what they want. Or they are hoping you will sign paperwork giving them the right to make medical decisions.
6. All adults have the right to make decisions that are viewed poorly by others, even ones that are detrimental to health. Think smoking, for example. Or a poor diet. Or frequent, casual sex, with or without protection and/or birth control.
Your interests are best served by getting a lawyer and listening to what she says and take her recommendations very seriously.
Regarding your boyfriend: Anyone who deserts you when you’re having a tough time is not a keeper.
dancerxoxo123
Well-Known Member
Ok so I should get a laywer and they will say that I don’t need guardianship? Why did they say they were in the process of getting it? I saw the paperwork. So it’s likely I won’t get it anyway because I’m not incompetent?
Important point: this is a matter of law.
Laws are different in different places.
Where do you live? What country. What state or province.
Laws are different in different places.
Where do you live? What country. What state or province.
dancerxoxo123
Well-Known Member
I am in the United States in New York. I don’t want to say the town I live in because it’s too personal.
This sort of "interrogation" is quite common from autistic males.
We get criticised a lot for it by women.
Speaking from personal experience, autistic males tend to be dogged problem solvers, and we need data to work with.
There is no obligation to answer questions outside your comfort zone.
The way you express yourself here in this forum is a clear indication you are a rational person capable of making your own decisions, imo.
IQ tests can be misleading.
Dancer seems to be a good communicator.
That’s all I needed to know. You will be governed by the laws in New York State. (Everything I said before was for Florida)
You can go to this website to learn about the types of guardianship in New York State;
NYS Guardianship
According to the above website when your parents file papers in the court for guardianship, the court will appoint an attorney to represent you.
For help before they file and to get answers to the questions you’ve posed here, you can contact Disability Rights New York.
Disability Rights New York
In my ASD3 daughter's (Wisconsin) case, the guardianship case (with an assigned Guardian Ad Litem) occurred when she turned 18 and would, otherwise, be considered a legal adult. I am pretty sure her GAL was a full-fledged attorney.
(Edit: It might only be in cases where a person cannot speak for themselves...)
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GALs have different rules in different states. In Florida, the GALs are primarily trained volunteers. I have heard they have different roles in different states.
It sounds like Wisconsin’s GALs are attorneys for the alleged incapacitated person, whereas in Florida there is the Regional Counsel who represents same.
dancerxoxo123
Well-Known Member
Yeah so I should get a re evaluation as soon as possible? My parents are making me worse then I seem?
You are best off going to an attorney, and sitting down your parents, and ask them directly why they wish to pursue this route. If you are legally considered a dependent, they may get a tax break? l am just guessing. But sit down, talk to them, because this forum can't read your parent's minds. You just sit down and ask them nicely why they feel the need to do this.
That should be for your attorney to consider. I wouldn't do such a thing under the circumstances without them weighing in on the prospects of doing so.
Which brings up another matter as well. That you may also try to find out whether or not your parents have already sought legal counsel for taking such an action. That an aggressive legal strategy may already be play, professionally preparing a case against you.
So perhaps now you can understand how minor what your boyfriend thinks of it all, compared to the stakes involved for yourself. For so many of us like myself, relationships come and go. But our personal freedom? That's far more impactful.
Very good point Judge, l almost assume they have an attorney. I just can't figure out if they are filing for tax reasons since the OP has some dependency, or these are controlling parents. They may get a tax break if she is labeled as such. That's why talking to her parents and talking to an attorney will benefit her greatly.
Tax advantages? Doesn't sound likely IMO. Besides, the prospects bring that much more scrutiny against the parents with such a consideration. Not the best way to gain a financial advantage alone.
Legal Guardianship as a Tax Deduction | Sapling
Controlling parents, OTOH is practically a given where autism is concerned. Parents who simply look upon their children (adults or otherwise) who are perceived to be hopelessly dependent upon them now and for the foreseeable future.
Reminding me of Baylen's parents from the reality tv show "Baylen Out Loud" that is following the life of a woman in her 20s living with Tourettes Syndrome. They mean well and want her to have an independent life, but it's obvious they have their doubts, especially when she wants to be married.
Though in terms of adult guardianship, such good intentions could go horribly wrong if based on an untrue assessment of the court and medical professionals.
dancerxoxo123
Well-Known Member
Yeah definitely. How could the guardianship go wrong? And my parents are controlling. So I likely won’t get guardianship?
Definitely seek out an attorney if a GAL is not appointed.
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