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Tony Ramirez

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  • My friend keeps saying I must experience rejection by woman before I can be in an relationship.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Think of this, Tony; not your fault here--Coffee & hanging out shouldn't be the scariest thing, but people nowadays make it This Very Big Deal. Try thinking of it as "I asked her out for coffee; so what?" and if no, then "well, better luck next time; so what?"
    And I'm almost certain it'll go well, even if you get turned down.
    Slime_Punk
    Slime_Punk
    Getting rejected is kind of part of the game. You can't hit a home run the first time you play baseball, and there's nothing wrong with that
    phantom
    phantom
    There are a lot of things that people say you must do to get into a relationship. Things they never really had to do, or were completely unrelated to them being in relationships. And some poeple enjoy having someone that is "lower" than them they can pretend to help, just to feed their own egos. Rejection is part of life for people who date, but that itself is not going to improve you.
    All my Yoga teachers, friends from Church and people here are proud of me. Too bad my parents and uncle think I am an disappointment.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks. They expected me to move out and be married with kids like all my cousins.
    Owliet
    Owliet
    Why do some people have to measure people’s ”success” by holding them up to everyone else? Keep doing what you’re doing Tony. We are proud of the changes that you are making!
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    All I know is when I go out to places, people I encounter are so friendly and understanding. When I come home, I am blamed for things and yelled at like I am nothing.
    It's true. The more you socialize with people especially women the easier it gets.
    Slime_Punk
    Slime_Punk
    I've noticed it works both ways; ignore it for long enough and it gets hard again. Anxiety is really responsive to pushback though, which is awesome!
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Your right. Covid lockdowns made me revert but now that things are open again I am socializing better.
    Owliet
    Owliet
    I am really happy that you are making a Lot of positive changes Tony. It’s something that can be inspired by Too.=)
    I think I am losing weight doing yoga several times a week. My clothes don't feel as tight as they use too.
    Luca
    Luca
    Great! :)
    My clothes are getting tighter lol but I need to stop bodyshaming myself. My body is clearly not meant to be skinny and that’s fine.
    Slime_Punk
    Slime_Punk
    Just wait until they start getting tighter due to gaining muscle! The journey never stops :)
    Owliet
    Owliet
    Well done — first steps are always the hardest but with enough effort and time, things start changing.
    I am done socializing today in person. I talked to a lot of people even woman I don't know which is a couple of 10's on the scale. I am burnt out. I am going to relax, listen to music then watch TV later, bring down the trash, watch a little bit more TV then go to bed.
    I just recovered from having another meltdown seeing face masks at the clinic. Everyone was wearing masks and it was too much for me. I am doing the doctor's therapy by phone on Monday.
    Stuttermabolur
    Stuttermabolur
    Do you have mask phobia or does it make you uncomfortable to not be able to see people's faces? I'm asking out of curiosity, not to be mean. I hope the phone call goes well.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Uncomfortable not seeing faces. They look crazy like from a horror movie. They look like they are going to attack and butcher me.
    I gave this young woman my spray bottle after Yoga class to clean her mat and she said "thank you" twice to me.

    I wanted to talk to her after but I was afraid even though she would have been polite.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    That was nice of you to do that--nobody wants to deal with sweaty & disgusting equipment. You can probably meet her again.
    I'm really proud of you for facing your anxiety.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks.
    Every woman I encounter this week has a husband but I am trying to not let it bother me. I am just going to enjoy life by doing the things I enjoy.
    tree
    tree
    It's really hard for you to cope with the idea that every female is not one to which you can lay claim.
    It's like you feel rejected by them if they are in a relationship.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I know my friend Justin says I have to break that habit but it's hard to change after thinking it most of my life. That is why I am trying new things.
    tree
    tree
    That Complaint Journal sounds useful.
    The Yoga Class is a whole new thing for you, too.
    I find YouTube videos I like by accident most of the time not by using there search. I use image searches and links from forums to find them.
    Slime_Punk
    Slime_Punk
    They recommend me so much stuff themselves that I hardly have to use the search bar, either :)
    Yoga class workout was harder today but I still did it.
    tree
    tree
    My bathroom is small, too.
    I use the length of time it takes for the toilet to flush and stop filling to
    stretch to the ceiling, do five deep knee bends, and a different stretch.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I can do that in my bathroom. I will try it.
    tree
    tree
    It has worked real well for me.
    At first I had to take a break in between the knee bends.
    Do two, rest a couple seconds, then do 3 more.
    But after awhile, didn't have to do any resting.
    Found a urinary cat food my cat likes.
    Purina ONE High Protein Dry Cat Food, +Plus Urinary Tract Health Formula
    Better than that Iams junk which made both of my cats vomit 20 minutes after eating.
    tree
    tree
    Have you tried putting water on the dry food?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    He won't eat dry food when it's wet. I feed him in my room where he stays with me most of the time.
    tree
    tree
    The only way one of mine can eat crunchies is if they're soaked in water until
    they are like tiny sponges. He has one tooth. He eats canned food, some times
    as it comes from the can, but most of it I use the stick blender on, with added
    fluid.
    If you want a treadmill, how does your uncle manage to prevent you having one?
    tree
    tree
    One thing that doesn't take up space or cost anything much is
    using a juice can (the large size) when you're sitting in a chair.
    You put the can under your foot and roll it back and forth.

    Yeah, I know. It's not major, like a treadmill. But it is something
    that is easy to do, and can keep at it without getting out of breath.
    Slime_Punk
    Slime_Punk
    I found a really small one on Amazon that folds up easily and stores nicely in a closet or corner but I'm actually not sure what the weight limit is
    tree
    tree
    Taping two juice cans end to end, with duct tape, makes a good easy exercise tool.
    It doesn't take much energy or thought, while you're sitting, (in sock or slipper feet)
    to roll it back and back. Strengthens thigh muscles. Good for circulation.
    My cat vet checkup was good, no blockage. He just does not want to eat the new food.
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    Maybe mixing a little bit of catnip into the food will help?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks.
    tree
    tree
    Or nutritional yeast.
    Or mixing just a little of his old food, so that he can get used to the new stuff gradually.
    I could not go to yoga this morning because no one could watch my sister. I am bummed there are no afternoon or evening classes on Friday. The owner is Jewish which could be the reason the sabbath starts Friday evening.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thats correct. Either me, my uncle or my parents.
    tree
    tree
    The four of you take turns staying with her. No paid help?
    It must take some co-ordinating, making sure at least one
    of you is available.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    It does.
    Maybe taking a little break from posting here would give you
    opportunity to work more closely with your therapist.
    I hate it when married people post pictures of their spouse and kids.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    Your envy is not attractive. Your bitterness is hanging around you like a stormcloud for everyone to see.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Stop replying to all my posts you are ticking me off.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    As long as you continue spewing hatred I will tick you off. You need to learn acceptance and resilience. Maybe if you do, you will finally be attractive to somebody. If you meet a kind and accepting woman, she'd be turned off by your bitterness.
    My life group is practically all couples with a new couple just joining but the life group won't be meeting for weeks due to the leaders being busy but most of the time it is cancelled anyway. Should I be glad as I hate being around all couples anyway?
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