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Trending blog entries
Has anyone else had an experience using noise canceling headphones at church? I could still hear everything but it didn’t annoy my ears and it wasn’t sharp like knives into my eardrums. I had to lean in to hear the pastor preach but that was fine. He was kind enough to give a disclaimer so that...
My resentment, the person in my head, is namely against my Dad. All my hang-ups are because of how I look at Dad. I only resented my stepmother by proxy, because he picked her over me. But he picked work over me, a long time ago.
But by shutting off like I did. I unknowingly played into my...
It's difficult. But I need to ignore my negativity. I need to ignore my psychosis. The delusions I have all the time, are not real. I just need to remind myself that I can beat this.
My issue with memory is purely this psychosis. Namely because I generally stop caring about anything when I have...
I really am seeing how difficult it is to be positive when I have the mindset that 'I'll always be kicked down for trying or doing or being'.
I am thinking this has to do with way more than how my stepmother treated me. And alot more than Dad being absent as a father. Just due to my worldview...
I want to be alone and not need anyone. I am tired of being hopeful. I am tired of hurting people without even knowing what i did. I am tired of the guilt. I want to live and die alone and in peace. I don't want anymore guilt on my conscience. I wish the people i met, like my friends never met...
I believe Everything happens for a reason. If i lose a friend it was meant to happen.
I was masking with her a lot, trying to overcome my anxiety about unexpected situations. But she thrives on unexpected situations and seeks them out, even dangerous ones. I am too stressed to try to fit in...
I dont want to deal with everything alone when my parents die. I feel like i had enough of life and don't want to do anything more. I am done. I am latching on to meaningless people in case they will help me or be with me when something bad happens. I don't want to experience this once more.
I think of suicide as a sin but sometimes i cannot help but feel like it would be good if i get sick with a terminal illness and die soon.
I sometimes feel all alone in the Earth, no mother and father who is there for me. No friends who see the real me and support me.
My therapist did not put up...
Touch- Sight=
People vibrate as colors. It’s like an aura but I feel it instead of see it. Each nationality vibrates as a different color than their skin tone. Native Americans vibrate as yellow variations even though their skin is red. Black people vibrate as red variations even though their...
I can honestly say that my childhood has been horrible. Trying to live all alone without anyone to depend on was horrible.
Parenting your own parents, along with yourself and being their marriage counselor was horrible.
Being all alone with my problems and suicidal thoughts was horrible...