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Has anyone else had an experience using noise canceling headphones at church? I could still hear everything but it didn’t annoy my ears and it wasn’t sharp like knives into my eardrums. I had to lean in to hear the pastor preach but that was fine. He was kind enough to give a disclaimer so that...
My resentment, the person in my head, is namely against my Dad. All my hang-ups are because of how I look at Dad. I only resented my stepmother by proxy, because he picked her over me. But he picked work over me, a long time ago.
But by shutting off like I did. I unknowingly played into my...
It's difficult. But I need to ignore my negativity. I need to ignore my psychosis. The delusions I have all the time, are not real. I just need to remind myself that I can beat this.
My issue with memory is purely this psychosis. Namely because I generally stop caring about anything when I have...
I really am seeing how difficult it is to be positive when I have the mindset that 'I'll always be kicked down for trying or doing or being'.
I am thinking this has to do with way more than how my stepmother treated me. And alot more than Dad being absent as a father. Just due to my worldview...
I want to be alone and not need anyone. I am tired of being hopeful. I am tired of hurting people without even knowing what i did. I am tired of the guilt. I want to live and die alone and in peace. I don't want anymore guilt on my conscience. I wish the people i met, like my friends never met...
I believe Everything happens for a reason. If i lose a friend it was meant to happen.
I was masking with her a lot, trying to overcome my anxiety about unexpected situations. But she thrives on unexpected situations and seeks them out, even dangerous ones. I am too stressed to try to fit in...
I dont want to deal with everything alone when my parents die. I feel like i had enough of life and don't want to do anything more. I am done. I am latching on to meaningless people in case they will help me or be with me when something bad happens. I don't want to experience this once more.