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Scary world-uglinessAlone By Edgar Allan Poe From childhood’s hour I have not been As others were—I have not seen As others saw—I could not bring My passions from a...- blue_bird
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Unreachable placeI know I'm months late to this, but I just saw your entry here. This is exactly why I have 一期一会 as my title here. It's a Japanese phrase that has...- Grondhammar
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Not deserving things - complicated feelingsI know what you mean about not wanting to bring others down. Hiding all that stuff is something I’ve done all my life. It seems impossible for me...- WhitewaterWoman
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Not deserving things - complicated feelingsHello. I feel like sometimes the things i feel are too depressive and don't want to affect anyone's mood. But i feel like exploding if i dont...- AprilR
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Not deserving things - complicated feelingsApril, hello. This is the first time I’ve looked into this blog section. I don’t really understand it. Why wouldn’t your post be ok in the regular...
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Yesterday I wrote about the necessity of having thick skin if you are creating something of yourself for the public. I'd like to share an actual rejection letter that I received. I don't have the letter but the words are seared into my heart.
To give a little background, I had spent at least...
Mom isn't feeling well today and so I am cleaning the house for her. Dad is taking care of sister's diabetes checks today which makes me nervous; he knows how to do it but usually mom does it. I haven't known him to mess up with a ratio in a long time but nonetheless it makes me anxious. But mom...
I see that I have made another person upset with my frank talk about writing. That is her prerogative. However, I have to ask, what would this person's reaction be if she were to get a rejection letter, as I did, suggesting very strongly that the writer sounded emotionally unstable and needed...
So many reasons, too many to list, but i have. It goes back and forth real quickly. Want to force numbness, have to be perfect, self harm urges, not good enough my fault need to just try harder. Will lose everything if i'm not good enough. All my fault no one elses blame others too much when its...
Today bubba, the almost two year old i babysit, was sick so that pretty much totally reset me for the day. As much as that kid can really rattle my nerves sometimes, I love him and it brings out the protective mothering side of me seeing him so miserable. I get a much needed day off tomorrow...
Lately I have been working with several of my neighbors regarding conditions in the trailer park and in doing so am getting a crash course in trailer park activism. The first thing I have learned is that trailer parks exist in a sort of legal limbo. Much of the resources available to other...
I feel like I found a group of people I can relate to. I used to feel like I was the only person with this disorder, and I felt that the world was against me, but not anymore.
All the supervisors save one are the strict, serious type that i can't read at all. Even if i get complimented four times in one weekend by customers even one mistake in front of them makes me feel like i'm back to square one. Bubba, the almost two year old i babysit, his parents want to put him...
Imagine having moods that change every 2-4 hrs so 4-6 times daily. The moods create heavenly ecstasy, severe
to moderate depression,anxiety,severe tiredness,deep brain fog,irritability and so much more in any imaginable
combination. Days off make it much easier since you can let it flow without...
Having someone telling me publishing odds is not why I write blog posts and only infuriates me even more. I know that there are a lot of things that are brutal about this world today. I don't even give a damned if I SELL my book, I might just make it visible to the public right where it sits on...
The other day I had a conversation with an artist from my church that has left me in doubt as to whether I should continue my art--or whether I am heading down a road to heartbreak. But then, again, SHE may be heading down the road to heartbreak as well.
She was selling calendars featuring...
I had an intake appointment for my anxiety this morning. It was pretty disappointing. I brought up the possibility of having Asperger's and she didn't seem to know what it was. She told me that I'd probably have to go see my regular medical doctor to get screened for it. I must have looked...
I was really happy and optimistic out of the blue this morning for a few hours yet all of a sudden, just cause of one episode of criminal minds and a few renditions of "Had Enough" by Breaking Benjamin, i'mat the total other extreme. Sleepy, irritable, extremely self-analytical. The 'nothing is...
I had a meltdown last night. I haven't had one for years. I think it might have been a combination of the stress from Monday, the anticipated anxiety of today, and my 4-year-old screaming for lemonade for the last 20 minutes straight even though he had milk and water and we were riding in the...
I took some of those online Aspie tests. They were interesting, but I had some issues with some of the questions. I know I was over-thinking it, but some of them weren't specific enough, or were too specific, or had multiple behaviors in one question, but I only do one of them and not the...
Yesterday, I went to an Asperger's group that I found on Meetup.com. I had been a member of the group for a couple of months now and finally worked up the courage to go.
I was very disappointed. 7 people, other than the counselor, showed up. Two were the mothers of some AS young men (19 and...
There was a celebrity chef (I believe it was Steven Raichlen of Barbecue Bible fame) who, when asked his advice about starting a restaurant, had only three words to say about it: Don't, don't, don't.
But, he went on, if you simply must go ahead and do it, here are some pointers. This is what...
The other day I got a flyer in the mail advertising a church carnival. It's from one of the newer area churches, one probably very much like the one I spent three years in. It promises fun, games, music. Come as you are, everyone welcome.
Now, maybe I am a bit old-fashioned and showing my...
Robert Frost's poem on the "Road Less Traveled" has been quoted so often it has become a cliche. Yet when I look over my life I see how much truth there is in that poem. Except that I didn't choose to take the road less traveled, it just happened.
I've been away from Aspies Central for...
I am in the progress of being diagnosed with Asperger's. Today was the first day, that a professional thought that I am on the Autism Spectrum- even though I have had an idea that I am for awhile now.
I have been dealing with an issue regarding my hypersensitivity that results in visuals...