The other day I got a flyer in the mail advertising a church carnival. It's from one of the newer area churches, one probably very much like the one I spent three years in. It promises fun, games, music. Come as you are, everyone welcome.
Now, maybe I am a bit old-fashioned and showing my age, but I thought first and foremost a church was about beliefs. Oh, I know people talk about church being a social club, and no doubt it is for many people, which has given church a bad name. We all know that. But that is not why any church, including the Unitarian-Universalist one, was formed. (When I say "church", I mean anywhere where people come to worship.)
In looking over this flyer, I do not see anything that mentions what this community of people believes. I have some idea, based on experience and based on demographics, of what they might believe. I am pretty sure that they are Christian rather than Jewish or Muslim but that they are not Catholic, or Episcopalian or Lutheran, or any of the established denominations. But I don't know what they believe.
This is no oversight. Like the car dealer's promotional flyer (which I admit, I fell for), it is designed to get people into the showroom (excuse me, church grounds), where the sales people (excuse me, church leaders) can sit down with the customers (prospective members) and before they know it, have them signed up. From this flyer I might not know what their beliefs are, but I do know what kind of people they are looking for. Young families with young children. Who else would be interested in a carnival with bright balloons?
But suppose I went there, what would I find? Would I find honest answers to my questions or evasions? If I asked about Creationism versus mainstream science I might get a direct answer--that's not something that these types of churches tend to hide and in fact are quite proud of it. But what about the other things, things that especially concern me as a woman? If I asked about Quiverfull, Christian Patriarchy, homeschooling, Extreme Purity, women in leadership, what answers would I get? Or would I be taken aside and told, this is a carnival, a place to have fun, and not a time to worry about that?
When one joins the Catholic church, for example, before they are allowed to become a member they have to take a course on Catholicism that covers the whole gamut of Catholic life. They don't become members and then find a year or two down the road that the church doesn't allow remarriage after a divorce or that birth control is prohibited. Everything is out in the open right from the beginning. Not so with these independent churches like the one I was in. Often there is no membership class, no chance to ask questions. If I had known that Quiverfull philosophy--had I even known there was such a thing as Quiverfull--was being promoted from the pulpit at my former church the first time I went there, I probably would not have returned. I definitely would not have spent three years there.
But how many of the young families who enjoyed the sun and fun of the "New Community" carnival would know about any of those things--would know what to look for and what to ask? And that is how people get sucked into things like that, because they have no clue, and by the time they hear these ideas being promoted from the pulpit, they've already established a relationship there that is hard to get out of. And these ideas are promoted so gradually, so logically, so Biblically, that it doesn't occur to people to question them, especially in an environment that does not encourage questioning. I went down that road long before when I was in my teens. I realize now that one of the things Ralph's home-church Jesus People fellowship was preaching was Christian Patriarchy, headscarves and all. I just didn't know what it was called because nobody there used that term then. But I knew I did not like it then, and I don't like it now, and I don't care how you try to dress it up as fun to lure people in. Of course, again, I don't know this is what the "New Community" folks believe. I didn't go to the carnival, because there really was no point in it. I am happy where I am. Likewise, if I'd been truly happy with my old car, I would not have responded to the car dealer's promotion--and if he hadn't anything on his lot that I liked, I would not have signed any papers.
Now, maybe I am a bit old-fashioned and showing my age, but I thought first and foremost a church was about beliefs. Oh, I know people talk about church being a social club, and no doubt it is for many people, which has given church a bad name. We all know that. But that is not why any church, including the Unitarian-Universalist one, was formed. (When I say "church", I mean anywhere where people come to worship.)
In looking over this flyer, I do not see anything that mentions what this community of people believes. I have some idea, based on experience and based on demographics, of what they might believe. I am pretty sure that they are Christian rather than Jewish or Muslim but that they are not Catholic, or Episcopalian or Lutheran, or any of the established denominations. But I don't know what they believe.
This is no oversight. Like the car dealer's promotional flyer (which I admit, I fell for), it is designed to get people into the showroom (excuse me, church grounds), where the sales people (excuse me, church leaders) can sit down with the customers (prospective members) and before they know it, have them signed up. From this flyer I might not know what their beliefs are, but I do know what kind of people they are looking for. Young families with young children. Who else would be interested in a carnival with bright balloons?
But suppose I went there, what would I find? Would I find honest answers to my questions or evasions? If I asked about Creationism versus mainstream science I might get a direct answer--that's not something that these types of churches tend to hide and in fact are quite proud of it. But what about the other things, things that especially concern me as a woman? If I asked about Quiverfull, Christian Patriarchy, homeschooling, Extreme Purity, women in leadership, what answers would I get? Or would I be taken aside and told, this is a carnival, a place to have fun, and not a time to worry about that?
When one joins the Catholic church, for example, before they are allowed to become a member they have to take a course on Catholicism that covers the whole gamut of Catholic life. They don't become members and then find a year or two down the road that the church doesn't allow remarriage after a divorce or that birth control is prohibited. Everything is out in the open right from the beginning. Not so with these independent churches like the one I was in. Often there is no membership class, no chance to ask questions. If I had known that Quiverfull philosophy--had I even known there was such a thing as Quiverfull--was being promoted from the pulpit at my former church the first time I went there, I probably would not have returned. I definitely would not have spent three years there.
But how many of the young families who enjoyed the sun and fun of the "New Community" carnival would know about any of those things--would know what to look for and what to ask? And that is how people get sucked into things like that, because they have no clue, and by the time they hear these ideas being promoted from the pulpit, they've already established a relationship there that is hard to get out of. And these ideas are promoted so gradually, so logically, so Biblically, that it doesn't occur to people to question them, especially in an environment that does not encourage questioning. I went down that road long before when I was in my teens. I realize now that one of the things Ralph's home-church Jesus People fellowship was preaching was Christian Patriarchy, headscarves and all. I just didn't know what it was called because nobody there used that term then. But I knew I did not like it then, and I don't like it now, and I don't care how you try to dress it up as fun to lure people in. Of course, again, I don't know this is what the "New Community" folks believe. I didn't go to the carnival, because there really was no point in it. I am happy where I am. Likewise, if I'd been truly happy with my old car, I would not have responded to the car dealer's promotion--and if he hadn't anything on his lot that I liked, I would not have signed any papers.
