What Makes Life Worth Living?

[Rodafina]

Trigger warning: suicide

There are many of us here who are able and willing to talk about our experiences with feeling suicidal. I am one of those people who has sadly sat on the edge too many times. Clearly, I am here, alive, and the edge has not crumbled beneath me, but some days the edge feels quite precarious. Some days I need the thoughts and voices of others because mine cannot be trusted.

So, I’m just curious, seeking positivity and meaning and purpose… What are the little gems that make a life worth living? What is it to you that makes all the struggle and strife worth the effort? What is the beauty that you see in the world?

Nothing is too trivial! Sometimes, it is the tiniest thing that can become a precious gem.

And thank you to anyone willing to share.

 

[Metalhead]

Good food, good music, good movies, good friends, the good times in between the bad times since the bad times make me appreciate the good times a lot more. Life is a series of ups and downs, but throwing in the towel during a down time is a big mistake since that down time will make the next up time a hell of a lot sweeter.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

It may sound weird, but the main thing that have keep me from suicide was becoming aware that I was going to die anyway.

So the topic changed from "dying vs living" to what do I want to experience in the meantime.

I decided that I wanted to experience love, true love. And on top of that I put things I enjoy as secondary objectives: Skating, walking, staring at the stars, enjoy company, learning, videogames, helping others, teaching... There are so many things I do enjoy, I just filter them when I am sad.

 

[Darkkin]

Life isn't about defining one's self by one's 'failures' or shortcomings. It is about seeing the meaning in the candid moments, a dog's smile after a great walk, a spa day for plants you never thought would live, a cat's near manic joy at acquiring a bookmark, or the contented sigh of an old rescue dog when someone moved his bed to a convenient location for him.

Pretty sure that if I weren't here, one or more of these guys wouldn't be here either. And that would be a crying shame because these guys, they make things better.

It isn't a lot, but it has meaning to a few creatures.

 

[Forest Cat]

Animals, nature. Sitting in a forest on a sunny day is special. The smells and sounds and everything. And animals always makes me smile and laugh. Another thing is the thought that you never know what will happen in the future. Something amazing could happen tomorrow or next month, who knows.

 

[Ken]

Yep, that crumbling suicidal edge is certainly no stranger to me. Been there probably more than not.

What helps me the most is solitude with my electronic design projects. Electronic design has been my lifelong obsession and it has pulled me back from that crumbling edge many times.

I suppose that would work for most everyone; that is, to be alone with you obsession, what ever that might be - even if you obsession is being with people.

Life isn't about defining one's self by one's 'failures' or shortcomings. It is about seeing the meaning in the candid moments, a dog's smile after a great walk, a spa day for plants you never thought would live, a cat's near manic joy at acquiring a bookmark, or the contented sigh of an old rescue dog when someone moved his bed to a convenient location for him.

Pretty sure that if I weren't here, one or more of these guys wouldn't be here either. And that would be a crying shame because these guys, they make things better.

It isn't a lot, but it has meaning to a few creatures.

I definitely relate!

 

[Stuttermabolur]

So, I’m just curious, seeking positivity and meaning and purpose… What are the little gems that make a life worth living? What is it to you that makes all the struggle and strife worth the effort? What is the beauty that you see in the world?

The people who responded to you for no benefits to themselves. Despite most people here being loners, and many having gone through terrible experiences due to other people, we still support one another and care about the welfare of others.

 

[Rodafina]

The people who responded to you for no benefits to themselves. Despite most people here being loners, and many having gone through terrible experiences due to other people, we still support one another and care about the welfare of others.

So true! I have so much gratitude to all for sharing… Indeed, these are fantastic things, certainly worth fighting for, worth living for.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

1. Have a purpose in life: Be responsible for something or someone,...a job, a family, a pet, plants,...whatever. If something or someone is likely to suffer in some way by your absence,...then it becomes your responsibility. No one is asking anyone to save the world here, but make the world a tiny bit better because of your contribution.

2. Have some goal in life: It could be a selfish one,...it doesn't have to revolve around people. It could be to make a million dollars, it could be to travel to 5 different continents, to run a marathon, finish an educational degree, restore a car or a house,...it could be anything that you can set your mind to, creates a bit of a personal challenge, and forces you to get up in the morning and make one more tiny step towards your goal.

I think many of us struggle with not meeting societal norms of having a spouse, a house, a car, 2 children,...yada, yada, yada,...it's all BS. Look,...you do you. Life is short. Be happy, for Pete's Sake! Stop dwelling on all the things that you can't seem to do, all the disappointments your family has of you, all the disappointments that you have of you,...screw that. Focus on what you CAN do,...you just might surprise yourself. Believe me when I say people don't think of you as much as you think they do,...so stop worrying about how other perceive you,...they don't care as much as you think they do.. That's a liberating thought. Stop worrying about other people.

Take care of yourself first.

 

[Outdated]

This is a topic I have been curious about for a while now, although I would never try to approach the subject with someone in case I call up bad thoughts for them.

I have never in my life considered harming myself. There’s plenty of times I’ve thought of harming others but never myself. And for the record, I’ve never deliberately tried to harm anyone else, except my brother when I was a kid, but sometimes it’s nice to think about it.

Could it just be that I externalise these feelings where some other people internalise?

 

[Tom]

There's more of course, but this was the first thing I thought of.

 

[Tom]

It may sound weird, but the main thing that have keep me from suicide was becoming aware that I was going to die anyway.

I really liked that. I think I can use it too.

 

[VictorR]

That out of all the randomness in the universe, that you are here, today, alive, and conscious.

And while our time on this world, relatively speaking may not be long, we have a special ability - the ability to leave the world in a better place/condition than we found it in. That is a responsibility to be cherished, and to be upheld.

 

[Rodafina]

This is a topic I have been curious about for a while now, although I would never try to approach the subject with someone in case I call up bad thoughts for them.

I have never in my life considered harming myself. There’s plenty of times I’ve thought of harming others but never myself. And for the record, I’ve never deliberately tried to harm anyone else, except my brother when I was a kid, but sometimes it’s nice to think about it.

Could it just be that I externalise these feelings where some other people internalise?

Interestingly, all my mental health counselor training taught us that bringing up the idea of suicide is not likely to cause suicidal thoughts in someone who doesn’t already have them. It is such a taboo topic to share for one who feels suicidal, and so it definitely gets into sticky territory as to whether to bring it up or not.

Your second point is interesting as well – the internalization versus the externalization of unresolved something that turns into violence. At times, I have wished, for more of an ability to externalize my pain, but when I think that one through to the end, I don’t like where it goes.

I’m gonna go ahead and guess that this is one of those situations where knowing yourself, knowing your triggers, and maintaining a moderately healthy attitude is going to be more successful than any extreme internalizing or externalizing. We should probably both be feeling a little bit of both and dealing with what makes us feel this way, right? I don’t know.

 

[Knower of nothing]

I do not carry the full breadth of consequences of my having-been-here and so I can't speak for its value. I think that would be wrong. In a simpler enjoyment of things however, it isusually not very hard to make someone laugh. Yet preventing the tragedy that is going through a whole day without laughing is still a great thing.

 

[SusanLR]

It may sound weird, but the main thing that have keep me from suicide was becoming aware that I was going to die anyway.

Agree with Atrapa Almas and Tom on this quote.

That is one of the reasons I have not committed suicide.
The other is out right fear of death and beyond.
So, put the two together and wait it out.

In the meantime, I find calming happiness in simple things.
Plants, nature, animals and my rock collecting hobby.
Study of Sciences also.

Meditation with peaceful sounds and music get me through when the going
gets tough.

 

[Rodafina]

@Metalhead, @Atrapa Almas, @Darkkin, @Forest Cat, @Ken, @Stuttermabolur, @Neonatal RRT, @Outdated, @Tom, @VictorR, @Knower of nothing, @SusanLR, thank you all so much. I wanted you to know that this list is immensely helpful… I got something from each and every post, and it is working, and I know it will be a strong weapon in the future, too. Everything shared here truly makes me think about life a little differently, and try to appreciate what is here while it is here and when all else fails just be curious. I appreciate so much what you all have shared here.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Loving and helping others. Especially when it's inconvenient. I feel best when I'm giving something or some help to someone else. When love is a verb. Because I have the hope that someone else's day was better. Even if it put a hardship on me. I can go to bed and sleep easier knowing someone else was happier that day.

 

[Knower of nothing]

When all else fails I ponder the pillbug and its absolute effortless defiance to the whole concept of needing value, purpose or even destination to be valuable. Or the passenger-seat-car-ride-window-scenery. So effectively colouring our lives with what is essentially nothing new simply through the circumstance of us finally having nothing better to do but look at it. Or the garden weed, defined as unwanted, yet casually persevering where it can simply because it can. Questions of why stay are not the only ones to spin the web around either. The famous quote suggesting the possibility we are simply exiles from birth taking the roundabout way back home. Neither rushing to the end nor taking your time. Beyond all this however, I think you may find the desire to change and desire to leave are not identical. How much of the suicidal ideation is not a venting process of common regret and resignation. Where the function is served by the proclamation of the most extreme ideal of escape, but the proclamation alone.
Anyway my eyes hurt. I'm running on 3 hours of sleep and am in the middle of a season-swapping cold. Here comes autumn. Thoughts making a mess like the leaves I'll have to clean in the yard. Possibly the prettiest mess you have to clean all year though ey?

 

[Rodafina]

Beyond all this however, I think you may find the desire to change and desire to leave are not identical.

This is very very, very important. Thank you.