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Blog entries by Raggamuffin

Raggamuffin
8 min read
Views
58
General
Woke up 5 times last night. Had an early night - in bed before 9. Me and Meg played some Trine 2 on co-op via Steam. It was fun. A real magical game. We called each other about half way through, as no voice chat made it a little tricky to know what the other was doing at times. Anyway - waking...
Raggamuffin
14 min read
Views
38
General
Felt a little low last night. Meg got to the work site, we had a decent length chat. I'm still putting the blame on me for the breakup, although she reiterated that neither of us were faultless. Both of us weren't in the right headspace for a relationship, I wish I'd listened to my gut. Still...
Raggamuffin
20 min read
Views
43
Everyday Life
Friday was productive at work, but how I left took some time to process. Initially it was shock. I rang Meg, we chatted briefly, but she couldn't hear me too well, so we decided to chat about it when we met later that evening. I also rang Guy and he said I'd scared them off with how I'd written...
No
Raggamuffin
8 min read
Views
45
General
Been posting about work struggles in detail on my Facebook art page. Tuesday evening Guy messages me asking how work is. Made me feel unseen again. He follows my art page he can see how work is, and I didn't feel like repeating myself. So I just said exhausted. He said let's meet Thursday or on...
Woke up with about 90 mins before I had to go to work. Nerves made me a little uneasy when I pulled up in the car park, but before then I was doing ok. I had a couple of messages from Meg in the morning which helped. Although it's my usual bias in terms of how much I write and what I receive in...
Raggamuffin
2 min read
Views
36
My Diagnosis
Ate some fungi. Thought it'd put me in a better state for my new job tomorrow - you know; proven reduction in depression and all that jazz. Counterintuitive? It was quite intense at times, especially flying solo, but it's winding down now. The message? Rest up - you are exhausted. Sure, I'm...
Raggamuffin
15 min read
Views
176
Reaction score
1
Comments
2
Love
Last night we went to Guy's and I panicked to the point of vomiting 3 times. Barely spoke, barely ate, I was the third wheel. Meg spent the evening playing with herhair whilst talking to Guy. It worried me, even though im sure its probably innocent. I just lept to catastrophic thinking. Kept...
Raggamuffin
11 min read
Views
126
Reaction score
1
Everyday Life
Quiet evening with Meg planned. Nice food, snacks, back rub, chill at mine. Film and an early night. Got invited to a dinner with Meg, her mum and her step dad as he's got a new job. Change of plan. I go with it. A change of pace mind. Going from a quiet night at mine to recharge and then faced...
Raggamuffin
7 min read
Views
51
Everyday Life
Threw up last night - whoops. Too much good food and I knew I should've stopped eating, but I kept going, multiple times. It's fine though - wasn't too traumatic. Normally I get some nausea and just force myself to go to sleep. But upon going to bed it was clear within moments that I'd have to...
Raggamuffin
2 min read
Views
36
Everyday Life
Woke up just before 8am. My internal clock has woken me up around this time for months, even after late nights which I've had the past few nights. Been very proactive on my FB art page the past few months. IG is slowly picking up pace too, but I've been so used to FB and put off by IG that...
Had quite an angry stomach the past few days. On Friday evening Meg drove to mine as there was no space to park her van at her mum's. She was still in her work clothes, which I found oddly endearing. Kind of sexy seeing her in orange hi-vis trousers and dirty arms and skin for some reason. It'd...
Strange juxtaposition today. My stall was the only inside one, setup in a meeting room. Whilst it was at the front of the building, there were signs directing people away from it to the entrance of the cafe. Foot traffic was slow. I saw most people walking away from the open door to the room...
7.7
Raggamuffin
1 min read
Views
70
Reaction score
1
Everyday Life
Walked 7.7 miles last night. My head was swimming. Gets sore walking for a few hours. My old hip injury from a car accident can act up. But I got it done, and in the morning I woke up with a real thirst, then back to bed. Messaged Meg on WhatsApp this morning and we had a back and forth...
Raggamuffin
9 min read
Views
79
Everyday Life
Neck ache is real bad of late. Going to the park in the next village to draw and I notice it escalating. Odd mix of feeling relaxed by drawing, being outside and having space. But then having to massage my neck and shoulders with my off hand to try and calm down the pains. They're severe today...
Raggamuffin
3 min read
Views
194
Reaction score
1
Comments
1
Other / Off Topic
First week being weed free. In that time I've been around a few people who've been smoking it whilst I was there, and it wasn't a big trigger. Cravings will come and go, but it's nowhere near as difficult as when I quit alcohol. Probably because this time round with weed my usage was the...
Raggamuffin
9 min read
Views
47
General
My overwhelm on Tuesday had Meg see another side to me which she said took time to process and led to some overwhelm for her. Hard not to feel guilty in such circumstances. On Wednesday I applied for a £15 an hour parts delivery driver job in Ely (nearest city to me). I updated my CV/resume and...
24 hours since my last smoke. Went to Guy's this morning, dropped off my weed and hash. He can have it. Will need the money anyway. He's paying me in 2 installments over the next 2 months. Sat outside under the shade and did some colouring of my new drawing. During this, Guy was talking to me...
Raggamuffin
18 min read
Views
75
Everyday Life
Monday. This Friday I'm driving up to Sheffield to see Meg. By that time it will have been 10 nights spent apart. She asked me yesterday if I'd been writing recently. I hadn't, but upon her asking I felt somewhat compelled and obliged to. Not that there was a hint or tone in her asking - it's...
No water this morning, checked the local water website then decided to drive to March to pick up two 5 litre bottles of water. Got petrol and then took the car to the car wash. Popped by a local supermarket on the way home to pick up some bits to make a salad later. Ate healthier today -...
Raggamuffin
18 min read
Views
480
Reaction score
1
Comments
3
Trips & Outings
In the morning Rohan set off before we'd got out of bed properly. Meg rang him to say we'd be going to a poetry group meeting that morning in the nearby town of Cambourne. When we arrived it turned out that it wasn't happening. Pete had gotten a lift with Rohan, and we all decided to wander into...
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