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Fair-weather FriendsWay to many people have that additude I'm afraid.😔It seems like toned down traits of narcissism and machiavellianism are everywhere. It's sad really.- FayetheADHDsquirrel
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Some of my translationThank you, this is actually the english translation of a song i love. I love translating songs a lot.
- AprilR
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Some of my translationAprilR, your sensitivity, your self-awareness, and your mindfulness surrounds your words here. WONDERFUL!- Coxhere
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Ignore thisThank you for caring. I ended up making another therapy appointment. I also sort of don't care about getting fired anymore, i made peace with it...
- AprilR
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I called my only friend yesterday because i was feeling too awful and i thought maybe it will feel me better. As usual she did not respond. I am always alone when i am feeling awful, that will never change. If i did not have a therapist and my faith i would have committed suicide long ago...
As a student of history, I get the impression that conspiracy theories are based on a touching belief that human beings are more organised than historically has been the case. I am currently reading about the English attack on Hispaniola during Oliver Cromwell's tenure. Everything that could...
I know I have always talked like humanity is something to be apart of. Yet I have days where I question that notion. Question if I truly belong.
Do I even belong on this forum?
Do I belong anywhere?
I feel like the only place I belong, is in my own darkness. Hidden from the world and living...
I got 73 percent for my major essay in this subject on the Middle Ages. The lecturer strikes me as a tough marker so I’m okay with what I got. I don’t want soft treatment in my course. My only regret is a few rookie mistakes that reduced my marks. It simply means I should do better next time.
I hate street charity collectors with a passion. They make smartarse comments when I obviously feel uncomfortable in their presence. However, their presence would not be an issue if they did not approach me. I have no problem with someone standing behind a street stall touting their cause but...
After my diagnosis back in 2019, I found out that things I thought were just my personal issues were in fact traits of autism. My dislike of the texture of certain fabrics, for instance. I also hate people getting too close in many situations which also seems to be an autism issue.
But what...
I have gone back to reading William Souder's Mad at the World: A Biography of John Steinbeck. I had to put it down earlier in the year when it got up to the part where the author describes In Dubious Battle, a novel I had not read. I should have known that would happen (how do you write a book...
You know. I always mention how there are clues in our wording, when we are down on ourselves. Yet, I have never applied it to myself. I know I'll not figure it about by stewing on it, yet I internalize it anyway.
I feel I must look at all I've written down and see if there are patterns I can...
I wonder if i will ever be able to act like myself again. Whenever i make up my mind people show their ugliness to me so casually i am filled with hatred and fear. And i want to keep myself hidden from the world until i die. Because whenever i think oh people are not that terrible they exceed my...
I am looking to do a thesis at the end of my history degree ie: when all the coursework has been completed. Something on the Anglo Saxons would really interest me. For those not in the know, that is the name given to various peoples who occupied England once the Romans decamped at the...
I was in Canberra not so long ago visiting cousins I had not seen in yonks. One cousin suggested I stay at her place next time I came to town (she has a husband and two children). I was polite and thanked her but inwardly, I hyperventilated. The idea of having my own hotel room even though it...
The feeling
Of rain inside, the storm, the cold, the darkness. The need to keep the lights off, to forget all the chaos and oppression for a moment.
Waves crashing inside my head threaten to topple even the sturdiest buildings, a sailor in the midst of the waves, pleading for mercy, but not a...
My last assignment was to write a piece on the Dark Ages and problems with the term. Historians now tend to refer to Late Antiquity and the Early Middle Ages. The border between the two is not clear but the period was not 'dark'. The negative connotations don't fit with the reality of the...
I understand that autism is simply your condition when you are not neurotypical. But I am willing to own autism as a form of disability. One example: I like to do laps at the pool but prefer to go when it is not too crowded. As such, I select times when there are relatively few people (not...
Not that long ago, I found out what executive functioning means. Once I understood what it was and how autistic people have a problem with it, I felt relieved more than anything. As long as I can remember, I have found activities that involve seemingly complex components like driving a car...
- I don't have sensory issues with bright lights, smells, touch or taste. Yes I have a phobia thing of clothing tags but it's more down to OCD than sensory
- I am able to lie and understand theory of mind
- I can understand body language, face expressions and tone of voice well
- I get...
I am always pretending i am normal, and i have friends and a social circle and i can relate to people. I am always pretending i am smarter than i am and i fear someday people will find out the truth. I might ruin my employer's business.
I used to have a best friend that i talked everyday but...
I have started looking into the idea of a dual layered system. Masking and a psychological defense bubble. Entities on thier own serving thier psychological purposes for different things. It's a work in progress, but I have dubbed this idea the 'Super Sheild Theory'.
I will most likely have...
I see my folly.
I am afraid of the truth. I am afraid to face myself. I have never in my life have ever let go of anything. I have blamed this. I have blamed that. But I have largely blamed myself for things that I have no control over. Blamed myself for things that never existed. Blamed myself...
I submitted an assignment recently about primary sources re: Charlemagne's coronation (800CE). I was happy with my mark but the assignment made think of how we would analyse primary sources about events that happened more recently. Imagine trying to find the truth about the stabbings at Bondi...