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Label Fear?

ImSensing

ImSensing

Active Member
++ I am suspected to have ASD so please understand this is coming from a vulnerable place. I don’t want anyone to take this the way , I just want to know if anyone ever felt the same for even just a moment.
When my therapist told me a few months ago she strongly believed I was on the spectrum, I didn’t know what that might mean, and I still don’t. I have the media’s version of autism in my mind. All of these thoughts start rushing in... how have I been appearing to be people all my life? Socially?? What was I always doing and failing at? Will things get worse? What does this really mean for me? My therapist said that she hoped I’d find comfort in knowing the cause. I’m not comforted yet. I don’t feel glad yet that I know, I just feel frustrated that it’s what has made my life so much harder and that it is something so confusing.
 
Welcome! I hope you find this forum to be as welcoming and helpful as I have.

I will copy something I just posted in someone else's hi-I'm-new thread:

Don't expect to be able to process and absorb it all immediately - give yourself time.

It can be a shock to suddenly slap an "autistic" label on yourself, but you are the same person you were before you applied the label. Nothing has changed except your knowledge about yourself. Hopefully, this will lead you to increased understanding.

One of the best ways that my diagnosis has helped me is in realizing I've been "reading the wrong manual" my whole life. I would look at how other people function and try to do the same. If I couldn't function the same way, I would think that I was being a prima donna (and expecting special treatment), or not trying hard enough.

The diagnosis exposed the truth - I'm not built to function like others. It's like I was a bulldozer in a Formula One race. I can't do everything the other racecars do, but I've found that I can do things they can't.
 
PS— I DO now understand the varying degrees of ASD and I’ve learned about how many apply to me. It just feels like pandora’s box at the moment without someone really guiding me at the moment.
 
Nervous Rex said:
One of the best ways that my diagnosis has helped me is in realizing I've been "reading the wrong manual" my whole life. I would look at how other people function and try to do the same. If I couldn't function the same way, I would think that I was being a prima donna (and expecting special treatment), or not trying hard enough.

The diagnosis exposed the truth - I'm not built to function like others. It's like I was a bulldozer in a Formula One race. I can't do everything the other racecars do, but I've found that I can do things they can't.
Click to expand...

Thank You Rex! Great to think of it by means of another manual. . It is a relief to read what you wrote about the special treatment, too. I also felt like I needed that, and felt selfish or guilty for it. Thanks for sharing.
 
It feels like l got the foreign version of my manual, lol. I am still waiting for them to send the correct one.
 
Aspychata said:
It feels like l got the foreign version of my manual, lol. I am still waiting for them to send the correct one.
Click to expand...

I think i got some kind of ancient foreign language manual my self i havent even began to scratching the surface in mien :confused::confused::confused:

What you have to keep in mind is this kind of diagnosis is highly individual so noone has the exact same Tics and or possible side diagnosis. So theres really no exact manual on how to deal with this im afraid. What i suggest tho is try to learn and in here/ on line as mush as you can about ASD and from that you have to try to apply youre knowledge on youre self and what fits and does not.Reg the Pandora's box i agree i still find new diagnosis often co occurring to either one of my Multiple diagnosis. But rather then take this negative i my self take it a bonus to get yet another clew to my never ending who am i /why am i like this / why do i have this problems:)
 
My counsellor asked during one of our sessions -quite out of the blue- if I'd ever been tested for autism. I asked her why, and she said it's because of the way I talk about other people. It wasn't really something that occurred to me before. This was last year and while I didn't want the diagnosis, my psychiatrist tested me and concluded I have ASD-1.
A year of complete confusion followed. I must admit, it sent me into a really confusing depression spiral because I started questioning EVERYTHING, my present and my past. I didn't really seem to know who I was all of a sudden. Which is something I see in your post above. Confusion and questions. Don't worry, you're not alone. :)

The diagnosis itself - at first made me react badly... but after some time, I realised I am the same as I was before. Nothing's changed, except that I know now why other people are so difficult to read... or why I react the way I do when -for example- someone stands too close and their eye-stare makes me anxious... or even why loud sounds make me panic and feel completely overwhelmed. The diagnosis isn't going to affect your personality, it just gives you reasons for everything you've experienced or for how you've reacted that seemed at odds to everyone else. It brings peace in knowing you're not broken, your brain just works slightly differently and that's ok! Like I said before in my welcome - this forum really helped to understand things better. No one experiences ASD the same, but there will be some commonalities we share. =)
 
I just mentioned in another thread about how slow I am to process everything. And this is something else I am very slowly processing!

I'm mostly just confused a lot of days. I think to myself, "Wow, OK so actually, this way works much better for me, and I'd been doing it this way all along?" I really like Nervous Rex' manual analogy, 'cause it's just so fitting. So now I am slowly figuring out what I need to do to function again (my main issues lie in processing, as I mentioned, and effective methods of communication). It's a really weird place to be, mentally, emotionally...

Best of luck to you. :)
 
To add to the "manual" analogy, I feel like it's now up to me to write my own manual, because, as Rocket said:

Rocket.jpg
 
Sarah S said:
I think i got some kind of ancient foreign language manual my self i havent even began to scratching the surface in mien :confused::confused::confused:

What you have to keep in mind is this kind of diagnosis is highly individual so noone has the exact same Tics and or possible side diagnosis. So theres really no exact manual on how to deal with this im afraid. What i suggest tho is try to learn and in here/ on line as mush as you can about ASD and from that you have to try to apply youre knowledge on youre self and what fits and does not.Reg the Pandora's box i agree i still find new diagnosis often co occurring to either one of my Multiple diagnosis. But rather then take this negative i my self take it a bonus to get yet another clew to my never ending who am i /why am i like this / why do i have this problems:)
Click to expand...
Thanks Sarah, I appreciate your your responses
 
Jojo_LB said:
I just mentioned in another thread about how slow I am to process everything. And this is something else I am very slowly processing!

I'm mostly just confused a lot of days. I think to myself, "Wow, OK so actually, this way works much better for me, and I'd been doing it this way all along?" I really like Nervous Rex' manual analogy, 'cause it's just so fitting. So now I am slowly figuring out what I need to do to function again (my main issues lie in processing, as I mentioned, and effective methods of communication). It's a really weird place to be, mentally, emotionally...

Best of luck to you. :)
Click to expand...
Thanks Jojo, processing is slow to me too. An example of that happened... just now in my own life. Man. Anyway, best of luck to us both right?
 
My strange weird way has kept a roof over my head, l have been to two foreign counties, have held a huge variety of jobs, l say screw the label, as @NervousRex says you write your manual everyday, and look up famous Aspies, you maybe surprised, l predict happiness in your future.
 
Hi @ImSensing and welcome to the community :)

Please don't allow yourself to be panicked by the negative press autism gets in the media. They love a scare story.

I'm going to post two images to illustrate the difference between the media impression of autism and the up to date, progressive understanding we have been reaching in recent years.

This is a diagnostic checklist that until relatively recently was in common use in identifying autistic children. It still pops up from time to time. This illustrates the deficit focused image of autism the papers & TV like to perpetuate.

IMG_20190506_230003.jpg


Now this is what it is being replaced by - written by and in consultation with autistic adults.

IMG_20190506_124603.jpg


Quite a difference eh?

Spend sometime here and get to know us. You'll soon realise that neither we, nor you, are the bogeyman as the media like to suggest.
You'll find some helpful videos that might clear things up for you and allay some of your fears on my website and YouTube Channel. Link is in my signature.
 
I lived in two foreign countries ( Finland, England) and stayed short time in Mexico. All this and with Aspergers.
 
Autistamatic said:
Hi @ImSensing and welcome to the community :)

Please don't allow yourself to be panicked by the negative press autism gets in the media. They love a scare story.

I'm going to post two images to illustrate the difference between the media impression of autism and the up to date, progressive understanding we have been reaching in recent years.

This is a diagnostic checklist that until relatively recently was in common use in identifying autistic children. It still pops up from time to time. This illustrates the deficit focused image of autism the papers & TV like to perpetuate.

View attachment 54032

Now this is what it is being replaced by - written by and in consultation with autistic adults.

View attachment 54033

Quite a difference eh?

Spend sometime here and get to know us. You'll soon realise that neither we, nor you, are the bogeyman as the media like to suggest.
You'll find some helpful videos that might clear things up for you and allay some of your fears on my website and YouTube Channel. Link is in my signature.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for the time you took to share those! I will certainly look at your YT channel. There are many things listed that I identified with in the modern description, but definitely not all. As I’m understanding here, that is the way that ASD expresses itself in most people—- in a variety of ways. Thanks again.
 
Hi, I see you've had lots of great responses and I can't top them but I can tell you that I am self-diagnosed as of a year ago and on a waiting list to be assessed formally. It was a friend who is diagnosed as Aspergers (before it was removed from the DSM) who told me she thought I probably was too and she could recognise a lot of familiar traits in me. At first I just dismissed it and she had been worried I would be offended but I realised fairly quickly that I wasn't offended; I didn't think I could be so lucky as to actually qualify. I began to research the subject intently and most especially the concept of how it can manifest differently in females and the more I learned the more I understood myself and felt relief. I am not broken, but I have certainly had many difficulties in life which it seemed I should not have had. Now I understand why and have a whole new framework for who I am, my challenges and my strengths.

I hope my story can help in some way, even just to make you feel less alone.
 
I wasn't diagnosed until age 58.
Growing up no one thought about ASD as they do now.
Most of the newer form given by @Autistamatic I relate to looking back at my childhood.
I didn't have learning problems so I was just thought of as a strange kid that other kids didn't like.
And it didn't matter to me.
There have been a lot of things being on the spectrum made difficult and I wish it hadn't.
But, as everyone says, the diagnosis didn't change me at all, it just helped me understand myself better
and why things were as they were in my life.
At first I felt relieved to find out why I was different, then the label hit and caused a bit of depression.
But, I'm glad I found out.

Glad to see you here. I found so much on the subject by joining and it really helped.
 
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