Markness

Hey. Be happy. Just go out and make your own party.

Why haven’t my efforts been successful, though?

If you have continued to develop your social/people skills since the age of, say 12 or so, then your efforts are successful. This idea that there is a cutoff age/a time limit is not doing you any favors. You fret over it. You continually bring it up. Who told you there was a time limit to being able to love & be loved?

No there isn't. Several people get into a relationship in their 70's or even later. My mother got into relationship with a man (who I heavily suspect is autistic) well into his 50's who had never been in a relationship before. He lived in a small apartment where he hoarded films and books. He was also pretty unfit and ate lots of candy.

Excellent!!

Sorry I have not replied to PM's & such. Am pretty busy, and I don't know if I have the mental resources to be the help you need--that change must come from within. But me keeping quiet doesn't mean I gave up on you/think you're not going to make it. That remains up to you.

Never give up on working towards your dreams.

My dream is being a better person, and it's a task.

Best how?

Best in art, pacing, plot, and overall craft.

Heh heh. Heh heh.

Nostalgia is a hell of a drug.

I am Cornholio! He he he

I've heard they can be. https://www.quora.com/Why-are-discord-servers-always-so-toxic

I am in one pretty nice community, but it's probably just because it is quite small, built around one person who engages quite actively with it, and a chunk of the people there have been friends for 20+ years. I haven't looked into any more though because of Discord's reputation. When I did look at a couple of other channels early on, they were... not for me.

Has the specialist offered any insight regarding your condition? Or still waiting for feedback from them?

The latter.

You get more what you focus on. Make an effort to change your focus. I fight with this everyday. I try as best as possible to change my perspective. I exercise and get the endorphines running, I'll go for a walk to clear my head. Whatever it takes. Switch your focus and you be able to change your outcome and find your goals.

True @tree.
Maturity means you don't give a rat's behind about those two people. The two questions l say? Do those two people pay your bills? Will they come to your funeral? Then don't worry about them.

I wish you had a different job. Being on the spectrum means change is hard for us. So don't blame the two people. Realize it's harder for us to get out of the grind and find/do something better.

The fact you are employed now makes it easier to get a better job if you were so inclined. I'm looking for employment myself and the hassle of online applications confuses me. See if you can find some help somewhere with applying & go for it.

The old Mt. Dew flavor? Or were you referring to feeling excited?

I almost hit a family of deer while driving home last night.

@Markness The first sentence is an ambition. The second sentence is a story that provokes anxiety in you.

@tree How can I circumvent that?

You need to learn to recognize self defeating non-rational content that you make up.

Lost cost. Fairly safe. At least they were in the small towns. The YWCA was a place where girls just leaving home and having a job went, in the larger town near where I grew up. Large town being Battle Creek. Not Lansing, Grand Rapids or anything like Detroit.

I honestly just thought they only did fitness programs and activities.

In my area, there was housing.

What are they having feelings about?

Usually family drama.

How does that fit in the workplace?

Some of it has to do with one's nature. Introverts tend to be much more content with their own company. Extroverts will struggle with it because they need people like others need air. Consider how being around others makes you feel. Drained or energized?

It drains me on different levels depending on the circumstances. I am not content with my own company most of the time.

Do you retain fluid?

I don’t know how to determine that.

If your toes or fingers buzz or feel like fat sausages, or when pressing on your leg/arm/ankle with a finger leaves a dent.... https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/Fluid-retention-oedema

I guess we can try that.

Good for you!

conversational jousting....experiencing remarks like swords/doing battle

How about posing the idea in the form of a statement, rather than as an unanswerable question. (Say what it is you want.)

I want to know if I can draw and story write again.

Try refining that statement. It's not that you just want to know if you can. It looks to me as if what you really want is .....to draw and write stories.