, we've been over this more than a few times... I think you know what sort of thing I'm about to say here, but I'm going to say it anyway because I'm a stubborn little snot.
You might notice all the immediate support being thrown at you here in this very topic, and I tell you, that's always been the case. Yes, some people get a tad frustrated at you every now and then, but... look, it can be a bit frustrating when someone really wants to see you succeed, but instead they see you punch yourself in the face over and over, which is basically what you've done so many times.
You tell yourself over and over how bad you must be or how you dont have X trait or whatever. All the time, you do this. And to that I say the same bloody thing I've said to you 5000 times over: You cant win a battle by shooting your own foot. How in the world are you going to get what you want if you keep convincing yourself that you cannot have it or do not deserve it?
Similarly, you perceive so much darkness around you where none exists. Again, lotsa support here. It's always been there. But I always hear from you how people dont want you to be happy or whatever, when... look I'm just going to keep pointing out the support everyone is showing and has been showing for a good while now.
Nobody here wants to see you fail. Everyone wants to see you succeed. Everyone thinks you can do that. Everyone believes in you.
...Everyone except you, that is. I dont know why you cannot see in yourself what I and others clearly can. I dont know why you cannot see the fact that you do have it in you to accomplish your goals. But for whatever reason, you just aint spotting it. Or, more likely, you arent allowing yourself to spot it.
I and others have said this before, and I'm gonna bloody well say this again: Stop telling yourself you cant. Start telling yourself you CAN. And get the heck back up when you fall down. Be freaking stubborn about it.
Only by doing those things will you ever get what you're after, because again: You cant win when you've been telling yourself you're going to lose before the match even begins.
I'm going to just keep repeating these things until it bloody well gets through. I dont give up, and neither should you.
Also before you say it, yes, I know sometimes there will be some bully or other that you might meet somewhere who tries to tell you the opposite of what I'm saying here. And I say, dont listen to them. Ignore bullies and jerks. It's that simple. They aint worth the braincells it takes to process the drivel they spit your way.