This is kind of embarrassing, but I don't really know what I'm supposed to feel

[Juliet8080]

So... I recently went to a self-defense workshop that was 3 and 1/2 hours long. You weren't allowed to wear tanktops, just T-shirts. We worked in groups of three and there were lots of people in a small-ish gym/dojo. I was getting along really well with my group and at the end I was putting my stuff away and one of my group members came up to me and said, "Hey, great working with you! By the way, um, awkward, but you might want to check number five on the rules." She smiled the whole time and then bolted out the door. Confused, I checked the rules, and number five said to maintain a good hygiene. Yikes. I came in in clean clothes, deodorized, and I shower regularly. My other friend heard the whole thing and I was completely embarrassed.

I have Asperger's syndrome and am weak in my nose, but I also did everything a typical person does to stay hygienic. Also, it was 3 and 1/2 hours of physical activity in a crowded room. I feel like being a little stinky at the end is normal. I'm so embarrassed I don't even want to go back, even if I lather myself in soap next time, haha.

Anyone have similar embarrassing experiences? Was I the awkward one, or was she the awkward one? I don't even know. I just feel... blech...

 

[Questella]

Cake on the deodorant, brush your teeth an extra time, and get some body spray. :/ Not much else you can do unless you want to see a doctor for a pill. I always keep deodorant, body spray, some kind of breath refreshing gum in my bag at all times, you never know when the fun hippy smell will sneak up on you.

She was probably trying to be nice really, other people may have been talking behind your back. It's a hard topic to be nice about.

If you're a girl then also put deodorant between and under your boobs, I get the worst hippie smell around the boobs, I don't know how girls with fake boobs can do it. x.x

If you get any breaks, just add more deodorant and maybe a splash of spray. I get good spray and spritz it on my hair more than my skin. Actual perfume, not the cheap sugary stuff.

 

[JamesBon92007]

By the way, um, awkward, but you might want to check number five on the rules." She smiled the whole time and then bolted out the door. Confused, I checked the rules, and number five said to maintain a good hygiene. Yikes. I came in in clean clothes, deodorized, and I shower regularly. My other friend heard the whole thing and I was completely embarrassed.
.

To me it sounded like she was being about as tactful as one could be other than not saying anything.

I have to use the strongest deodorant I can find. Perhaps men's deodorant is stronger than women's.

 

[Katleya]

I'm yet to meet someone who smells nice & flowery after a sports class.

2 other things that come to my mind, since that lady in your class wasn't very specific:
- Were people barefoot in that dojo? Could be funky feet. Deodorant would work.
- Another possible thing, since T-shirts were involved, could be underarm hair (if you were unshaven). Many people view it as unhygienic, even when it's the short hair before getting it waxed.

 

[Ambi]

So... I recently went to a self-defense workshop that was 3 and 1/2 hours long. You weren't allowed to wear tanktops, just T-shirts. We worked in groups of three and there were lots of people in a small-ish gym/dojo. I was getting along really well with my group and at the end I was putting my stuff away and one of my group members came up to me and said, "Hey, great working with you! By the way, um, awkward, but you might want to check number five on the rules." She smiled the whole time and then bolted out the door. Confused, I checked the rules, and number five said to maintain a good hygiene. Yikes. I came in in clean clothes, deodorized, and I shower regularly. My other friend heard the whole thing and I was completely embarrassed.

I have Asperger's syndrome and am weak in my nose, but I also did everything a typical person does to stay hygienic. Also, it was 3 and 1/2 hours of physical activity in a crowded room. I feel like being a little stinky at the end is normal. I'm so embarrassed I don't even want to go back, even if I lather myself in soap next time, haha.

Anyone have similar embarrassing experiences? Was I the awkward one, or was she the awkward one? I don't even know. I just feel... blech...

I think as awkward as that exchange was, she was doing you a favor in the most polite way she could. The thing is - it is quite vague. Are you sure she meant you need more deodorant or body spray? Or is it other aspects of hygiene? Can your other friend who overheard help you understand what it was? If you think you can understand what it was, then just work on that.

 

[wight]

If you were in clean clothes, recently showered, deodorized, and generally were well groomed in the hair department, you were probably just fine and just got stinky cuz it was an exercise class. Little miss "I have no body odor" can take a flying leap.

On the subject of hygiene generally, remember soap water and rinse the 5 Fs
Face (including teeth)
Front (er... umm... the naughty fun bits, you know what I mean)
Fanny
Fingers
Feet

That's and clean clothes are the basics.

 

[Questella]

It is very possible to not stink at all even when sweating a lot. Just got to keep on it. I had to learn this some years ago I didn't even realize I had a problem but other people kept complaining about me, now no matter how sweaty I am people still tell me I smell nice.

If you have problems with feet funk, get baby powder put a bunch in your socks and more in your shoes, even if you end up barefoot later, the baby powder in your skin will help maintain a freshness. Baby powder is a real lifesaver. If you wear some kind of sandal that you don't wear a sock with you can get those little inserts and change them regularly. They'll absorb the funk rather than your shoes and will help keep your shoes fresher longer.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

It is very possible to not stink at all even when sweating a lot.

Do you work up a sweat in your line of work @Questella

 

[Juliet8080]

Thanks everyone for the replies!

I think as awkward as that exchange was, she was doing you a favor in the most polite way she could. The thing is - it is quite vague. Are you sure she meant you need more deodorant or body spray? Or is it other aspects of hygiene? Can your other friend who overheard help you understand what it was? If you think you can understand what it was, then just work on that.

I thought that was vague, too. My friend was confused. :/

 

[Questella]

Do you work up a sweat in your line of work @Questella

Yeah I'll be near drenched sometimes. >: When it's busy and especially in the summer it gets rather humid and you're (hopefully) moving all night.

I'll be constantly tapping napkins on my face trying to keep my make-up from getting messed up, my forehead and upper lip always have droplets of sweat forming. Why I can't understand why some girls cake on make-up to go to the gym. xD

 

[Ambi]

Thanks everyone for the replies!



I thought that was vague, too. My friend was confused. :/

Okay, at the risk of it being even more awkward - you could in a very friendly way ask the person who told you this what they meant. But if your other friend didn't know what she meant....I also don't want you to walk into a potential bully's trap.

 

[Streetwise]

just sounds bitchy to me and rude

 

[Momo]

One other thing you could do if you sweat a lot and that's what she was complaining about is get one of those anti-sweat antibacterial tee shirts that help with smell and sweat patches. Can be really helpful, I think Thompson Tee makes them.

 

[tw3]

My high school Spanish teacher asked me to see him after classes. When I got there he told me some girls were talking about me. At first I thought it would be something positive, but then he asked me if I showered and used deodorant. The girls had complained to him about my body odor. I felt my face and my whole body burning as I turned red in total humiliation. I wanted to run and hide. As an Aspie, I always felt out of sync anyway, but now I closed up like a clam shell. I was afraid to look girls in the eyes for fear that these were the ones who complained about me.
His final word was to recommend that I use a lot of deodorant and wear a t-shirt under my regular shirt. From that day until this, even though I live in a tropical climate, I wear a t-shirt under my regular shirt. If I don't, I feel uncomfortable until I can put one on.
The good news is that he and I later became good friends, I don't repulse people with my body odor, and I can look girls in the eyes especially my wife of 48 years. It was hard at first, but I got over it. You will, too.

 

[OlLiE]

hydrate adequately seriously, it helps,

by the way there are also medical conditions, the valve to your stomach could not be closing properly so that a stomach smell can escape, that can be quite unpleasant, an acquaintance of mine had it

 

[Bella Pines]

Definitely her.

On the rare occasion I go to gym classes, I try my best to work up a sweat. I work in an all male environment, so there are always a lot of very sweaty guys there. It's part and parcel of exercising. Have you ever smelt a gym? I don't discuss their bodies or mine.

So absolutely no doubt about it, it's definitely her. Maybe she has a personality disorder! If that was me, I would not only turn up again, but not wear any deodorant at all and if she said something, I'd smile, look at her dry shirt and tell her to put a bit more effort in.

 

[Plant13]

So... I recently went to a self-defense workshop that was 3 and 1/2 hours long. You weren't allowed to wear tanktops, just T-shirts. We worked in groups of three and there were lots of people in a small-ish gym/dojo. I was getting along really well with my group and at the end I was putting my stuff away and one of my group members came up to me and said, "Hey, great working with you! By the way, um, awkward, but you might want to check number five on the rules." She smiled the whole time and then bolted out the door. Confused, I checked the rules, and number five said to maintain a good hygiene. Yikes. I came in in clean clothes, deodorized, and I shower regularly. My other friend heard the whole thing and I was completely embarrassed.

I have Asperger's syndrome and am weak in my nose, but I also did everything a typical person does to stay hygienic. Also, it was 3 and 1/2 hours of physical activity in a crowded room. I feel like being a little stinky at the end is normal. I'm so embarrassed I don't even want to go back, even if I lather myself in soap next time, haha.

Anyone have similar embarrassing experiences? Was I the awkward one, or was she the awkward one? I don't even know. I just feel... blech...

I'm going against the grain, here. The girl was a dick to you. If you asked her how you smelled, she could answer. Unsolicited personal comments are RUDE. No excuses, its not you its them, this time chica.

 

[Plant13]

So... I recently went to a self-defense workshop that was 3 and 1/2 hours long. You weren't allowed to wear tanktops, just T-shirts. We worked in groups of three and there were lots of people in a small-ish gym/dojo. I was getting along really well with my group and at the end I was putting my stuff away and one of my group members came up to me and said, "Hey, great working with you! By the way, um, awkward, but you might want to check number five on the rules." She smiled the whole time and then bolted out the door. Confused, I checked the rules, and number five said to maintain a good hygiene. Yikes. I came in in clean clothes, deodorized, and I shower regularly. My other friend heard the whole thing and I was completely embarrassed.

I have Asperger's syndrome and am weak in my nose, but I also did everything a typical person does to stay hygienic. Also, it was 3 and 1/2 hours of physical activity in a crowded room. I feel like being a little stinky at the end is normal. I'm so embarrassed I don't even want to go back, even if I lather myself in soap next time, haha.

Anyone have similar embarrassing experiences? Was I the awkward one, or was she the awkward one? I don't even know. I just feel... blech...

One more thing .. Exercise is one of the only things that help me focus. Its necessary to maintain my very delicate balance. If someone messed with that I would probably lose my temper, and then of course never go back. Hence the home gym. I'm really sorry that happened to you.

 

[MountainTrails]

Hard to say. She sounds embarrassed but friendly the way you described it.

Could have been broccoli in your teeth; could have been someone else's fart. But 3.5 hours of exercise for some people can create a POWERFUL stank. If it were me, I would just make sure I was scrubbed and groomed and in fresh clothes when I showed up next time -- extra attention, so to speak.

 

[WereBear]

I came in in clean clothes, deodorized, and I shower regularly.

Fine for ordinary conditions.

But 3.5 hours of exercise for some people can create a POWERFUL stank.

These aren't ordinary conditions. So do take extra precautions. I like the liquid crystal deodorant as seen at the link; I'm fussy about aluminum preparations, which is what the usual antiperspirants work with. Just plain old baking soda can do wonders for sweaty parts, too.

Also, if you had garlic or something spicy as your meal prior to the workout, that can be released as you sweat; I've never found it an objectionable odor, but some people regard it as such. Chewing gum or a breath mint can make up for a lot; some people regard that as "you are trying."

Remember that this is a moving target: people have widely varying standards and scent abilities, and can give you issues over nothing at all. I've had co-workers who would make eyes water and office chairs thrown into the dumpster after they sat in them... I have never smelled anything in a class or gym like that, so a lot of these complaints are unwarranted, I think.

If your friend can honestly say you were fine; take her word, not the stranger's. But that also doesn't mean you can't take precautions next time.

Here's a great in-depth discussion at a wonderful site, Captain Awkward:

“Dance class and stranger-sweat” or “How to tell someone they are stinky: A review.”

Enjoy that class!