My Thoughts as An Autistic Queer Person

[Joshua the Writer]

I feel like my Neurodivergency and Queerness is linked. My Queerness is Autistic, and my Autisticness is Queer. Because of this, I am going to add Autigender as a label to describe my gender ID. Autism strongly effects my gender identity, so my gender identity is Autistic. I am Autigender. Don't get me wrong, I also use Transgender Nonbinary Woman and Transfem Demigirl to describe my gender identity. As far as my orientation goes, I am Pansexual and Panromantic.

I am not telling anybody else that they should feel this way about their own identity. After all, I am talking about my experiences with my own gender ID.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Im glad we live in a country that allows you to be who you are, openly without fear of even ridicule. I wish you all the best.

 

[VernalSole1355]

I have a friend who is in the Queer community, but she doesn't have Autism. I've never heard of Autigender before, but it makes perfect sense with how Autism, in my eyes, "re-wires" our brains.

When I think of one thought, 5 other thoughts that are completely separate come rushing with it. You may be experiencing a similar chain-reaction or domino effect with your gender identity.

But know that there are people who love you, however you choose to identify yourself.

 

[Fino]

Is this a special interest of yours?

 

[VernalSole1355]

Is this a special interest of yours?

Is that directed at me? If so, yes.

 

[Varzar]

I find all these labels terribly confusing. I have no idea what at least half of them even mean.

 

[Barymore]

Thats an idea I have also been thinking about (autistic - queer). It seems a larger proportion of ASD persons are queer in some sense of the word. Currently, I experience it such that for me gender identities are a cultural construct, as such, anything that weakens the direct effect that culture has on Identity will allow far more flexibility in terms of gender (and other things). This assumes, of course, that gender identity is not a completely fixed genetic feature.
So, as my ASD means I am less directly confined by cultural norms and mores, this allows more variable gender identities to be felt & openly lived. I dont think asd makes us queer, it allows us more easily to be. This I believe is not unique to ASD, some cultures include other genders and there people also live these genders more easily (some indian cultures, native american etc - def not an expert here, though!).
So for me Autiegendered is a neat descriptor but not an identity, my identity is queer and aspie.
Does this make sense?

 

[Varzar]

I dont think asd makes us queer, it allows us more easily to be.

I think that hits the nail on the head right there.
Being neuro-divergent just means we don't fit in with societal norms to begin with. It's a lot easier to then also accept ourselves for other aspects of our identity (e.g. LGBTQ+) without even concerning ourselves with how the rest of society is going to view that. Whereas an NT would struggle more to accept their own non-conforming identities because they fear the reaction they will get from their peers. Fear is a very strong influencer.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

I find all these labels terribly confusing. I have no idea what at least half of them even mean.

I think it may be time to explore it all again. There are a few writers that post here who could do it, that is, start a thread that is basically lgbqt+ terms and conditions for everyone over forty.

Its been pointed out before in many not so subtle ways, that being gay or trans or any of that was unheard of on a personal level even just two generations ago. Its a difficult adjustment for many of us. It was dangerous to even appear sympathetic or even tolerant of the issue for many of us

The best source material i have yet found to describe all the terms, and to explain how gender can differ from biology is from feminism. Specifically what is called the
" womens studies" curriculum.

I have a copy of
" womens voices, feminist visions"
[ university textbook ws223] from a few years back(2002) that has a few chapters on it.

As i told someone here recently, the book had to be kept hidden away, for fear of violence to the owner.

 

[Varzar]

I think it may be time to explore it all again. There are a few writers here who could do it, that is, start a thread that is basically lgbqt+ terms and conditions for everyone over forty.

That might help? I'd read it anyways..
I've even not too long ago googled articles about these labels to try and "keep up to date". But, for one, it seems like there's perpetually new labels. For two, I find a lot of them hard to really imagine, or distinguish from one another. And for three, I can't remember them all 5 minutes after I finish reading them.
I guess I'm getting old.

 

[Barymore]

at the risk of maybe offending people who have had to fight for their identity, I think maybe its ok for someone not to know all the terms exactly. If you feel comfortable in your more widespread identity this is something I respect without quite understanding how it is even possible to live in quite such a binary and role-normed way. Conversely, it is perfectly possible to be accepting,inclusive and generous without understanding the details of a particular gender identity, no? Am I being too naive here?

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Its ok really. The seperation of gender from biology is a difficult thing to understand. I dont really get it.

What helped me come around on it all was when a beautiful woman taught me about how each of us is the only one qualified to describe our inner self.

It may be too difficult of a topic for this venue, it can be controversial. Some folks this place here is a safe place and a life line, it is for me. I learned about some of all this many years ago, but the modern way is different. Among my circle as a twenty something, bisexuality and homosexuality were accepted, trans was considered fringe and wierd. Alot of us were different (hypocrite) about it at work than at other places.

I think what matters is that we embrace compassion as a norm, and acceptance of the person, however they may be. Its difficult being different

 

[VictorR]

For those whom the intersection may be new, Spectrum News' Gender and Sexuality in Autism article is one I like to link as an introductory piece.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

I think some of it for me might be cultural bias. ******** was a description that was spoken of in whispers, and was a sort of free thinker. I was a serious hypocrite in many ways. Alot of us were then. Its hard to explain the way it was.

We all thought it was pretty liberal to not really care who people slept with, or what thier gender was or how many people were in the hot tub together. It was a party thing for many. It was always discrete, there were horror stories of people outed, and a strong affiliation in many peoples minds between homosexual males and the sexual assault of children. Gay men are not pedocreeps, that was a part of the predjudice at the time, its not real.

I knew many people who were gay, lesbian and bi thirty years ago in california, but no one who thought that they "were a woman trapped in a mans body" as Trans was described in the tabloid press.

It may well be impossible to explain how different it was, and perhaps no longer relevant. Xian fundamentalism was much more mainstream of a view, we were all afraid of being labeled, because those ppl had power to hurt us.

For me i was interested in civil rights, and in resistance against the culture that denied the existence of this awful disease that was killing my friends. We all wore makeup though, to rallies, like warpaint/clownpaint not cosmetics, it was to hide the face, and obscure our identities, so our parents wouldnt get fired, or worse.

Then i moved to where i live now. There isnt a closet to hide in here. Flags on trucks, chew tobacco spit on floor, all that. I think some aspect of maturity is to embrace development, and for the personality to evolve with new information.

 

[Thinx]

I feel like my Neurodivergency and Queerness is linked. My Queerness is Autistic, and my Autisticness is Queer. Because of this, I am going to add Autigender as a label to describe my gender ID. Autism strongly effects my gender identity, so my gender identity is Autistic. I am Autigender. Don't get me wrong, I also use Transgender Nonbinary Woman and Transfem Demigirl to describe my gender identity. As far as my orientation goes, I am Pansexual and Panromantic.

I am not telling anybody else that they should feel this way about their own identity. After all, I am talking about my experiences with my own gender ID.

Yes I see what you are saying, and like @Barymore I think the autistic ability to think outside the box makes it easier to acknowledge my identities as gay and nonbinary. That's the link I think.

Nevertheless I was hampered by the effects of assumptions as a young person, which did not leave room for non heterosexual identity formation. I empathise with what @Skittlebisquit is saying about that. But I got there in the end. My feeling is that autistic people can be as affected by the power of convention as anyone, and yet may be able to think our way out of the dominant views, if we get access to information that helps us recognise and articulate who we are.

For some, other views such as religious doctrines become what @Fino might resent being called his dominant 'special interest', and might more respectfully be called, their beliefs, or their truths.

In my experience this is a process, to gradually uncover/discover who I am, including my autism. It sounds like you are refining your understanding of yourself, and that's a process that can be ongoing, and help us feel more grounded in who we are.

 

[Starfire]

So you’re an autigender transgender nonbinary woman transfem demigirl pansexual and panromantic!

That just sounds like you’re a confused teenager, not that there’s anything wrong, new, or original about that.

 

[Misery]

I find all these labels terribly confusing. I have no idea what at least half of them even mean.

To be 100% honest, even most people who have gender identity issues also dont know what most of them mean.

And sometimes, you get what I suppose could be called "labels within labels". Which can get even more confusing.

Here is an example: Androgyne

This is the category that I personally fall into, I think. In both appearance and behavior I tend to be in the middle, leaning a bit more towards the feminine side. So, "androgyne", or as I usually put it, "androgynous" because more people seem to know what that specific word means (usually).

But then we go down a bit further into that little article there, and we see some more terms. 5 in total, and I've never heard any of them before. Each sort of a sub-class of the main term. Never seen 'em before, and chances are I wont remember what they are 10 minutes from now, as per standard protocol. Are they even necessary? Heck if I know, I dont make the rules here. But I suppose some must feel that they are, or they wouldnt be in there, probably.

Looking around that site will show you many things like that. I've been dealing with this stuff for ages and I have no idea what half of these things are.

I have completely lost track of where I was going with this after getting absolutely distracted between the last sentence and this one.

Allow me to close with this though:

 

[Thinx]

So you’re an autigender transgender nonbinary woman transfem demigirl pansexual and panromantic!

That just sounds like you’re a confused teenager, not that there’s anything wrong, new, or original about that.

But they've outlined their identity very fully, and in more depth and detail than most adults can do. That's being specific, not being confused. I think maybe you're struggling with understanding the terms, that's all. Not that there’s anything wrong, new or original about that.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Thats an idea I have also been thinking about (autistic - queer). It seems a larger proportion of ASD persons are queer in some sense of the word. Currently, I experience it such that for me gender identities are a cultural construct, as such, anything that weakens the direct effect that culture has on Identity will allow far more flexibility in terms of gender (and other things). This assumes, of course, that gender identity is not a completely fixed genetic feature.
So, as my ASD means I am less directly confined by cultural norms and mores, this allows more variable gender identities to be felt & openly lived. I dont think asd makes us queer, it allows us more easily to be. This I believe is not unique to ASD, some cultures include other genders and there people also live these genders more easily (some indian cultures, native american etc - def not an expert here, though!).
So for me Autiegendered is a neat descriptor but not an identity, my identity is queer and aspie.
Does this make sense?

Yeah. That makes sense and is also valid.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I feel like my Neurodivergency and Queerness is linked. My Queerness is Autistic, and my Autisticness is Queer. Because of this, I am going to add Autigender as a label to describe my gender ID. Autism strongly effects my gender identity, so my gender identity is Autistic. I am Autigender. Don't get me wrong, I also use Transgender Nonbinary Woman and Transfem Demigirl to describe my gender identity. As far as my orientation goes, I am Pansexual and Panromantic.

I am not telling anybody else that they should feel this way about their own identity. After all, I am talking about my experiences with my own gender ID.

I have no idea about anything you just said. I feel so "out of the loop" with any of this. My issues, not yours.

I do know a bit about autistic brain development and intrauterine hormone exposure,...and what little I know suggests that many of us within the autistic community fall within that "grey area" as far as gender identity and sexuality. It seems a disproportionate amount of us "on the spectrum" will, have, or are struggling with their gender identity. Personally, I would consider myself a typical heterosexual male,...however, I have taken a few of those "right brain/left brain" and "male brain/female brain" tests on-line,...and I end up pretty much balanced. I actually find it much easier to communicate with females. I don't know how to interpret any of that, but I am definitely not attracted to males,...whatever,...to each, their own.

Best wishes.