im 18, im a male. i have aspergers and it haunts my life every single day. this is the first time i am reaching out to someone for my problems, of any kind. i need help.
i have been dating this girl for 4 months. she is the most gorgeous girl ive ever seen. she lives and works both right next to where i live. she has been the most major part of my life, we have spent all of that time together. she is not the first girl ive dated. but she is the first girl ive let in my heart due to many emotional issues. shes the first girl ive let completely in my life. shes the first girl ive had sex with we had sex (60-70 times). shes literally everything to me. i often called her my goddess and i truly worshiped her. i think of her every second of every day. i am obsessed with her, she made me feel so good, she did so much to make me feel good. she went out of her way to make me happy and she did. i would give every worldy possession to be with her. i would sacrifice everything.
we have been broken up for 2 and a half weeks now.
shes a very social person, i trusted her during our relationship. she gave me no reason not too. our relationship was ruined because of my aspergers problems.
we broke up because i told her i wasnt feeling well (mentally), she asked "is gonna be like this everyday?" i said yeah probably and she was very mad. so i told her we should break up. (i was extremely upset for no reason and thats why i said this). and we talked later that night in person. she got tired of dealing with this
she told me the following, "i dont see you in my future" (we had made many plans), "i have to force myself on you because i dont find you attractive anymore." "you always look like you hate me and im tired of it" "you always act so angry" "you make me feel so guilty after we have sex" "you only want me because i am the first person you had sex with" "you only want me because im the only one here for you" and more. i cried myself to sleep (when we were still together) every night because i already felt bad about this. i literally worship her. so i said "im so hurt right now, i dont even know what to say, id be better off without you (i didnt mean it, i didnt want to look weak.) and she got out of the car and went inside.
i panicked after that and i tried my best not to text her, but i did alot. she blocked me a week later. i was trying to express my feelings and get a chance to tell her how i feel and that she was wrong about how i felt.i love her legit. i went by her work mcdonalds, (which i used to sit there for 1-3 hours to give her a ride home and spend 5 minutes with her.) so the general manger and coworkers knew me. i went by with a rose and i wanted to apologize and admit she was right. she saw me and ran to the back. i was asked to leave and was told she didnt want me there. she called me creepy later that day and made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me. i never got to say how i felt, and thats all i wanted to do.
shes told me things within the last week as i quote
" i dont want anything to do with you, im tired of you and the way you act"
"dont ever come around me again dont see me at work and dont come by my house"
"you need to find someone else to deal with your problems"
i dont even wanna type all the mean things shes said.........
i told her my biggest insecurities (losing her, making me feel like im just another guy, and lying about loving me) and she did all 3 and ive never felt worse, ive been in many relationships but not like this. she made all 3 of those insecurities so much worse.
i went by her house today, to make a long story short i went to speak with her grandfather. he basically said shes not worth it and to move on. he was very concerned i was going to kill myself. i assume from some feelings i told the girl.
i know she blatantly disrespected me. hurt me. broke me. cussed me out. probably talking to someone else (assume). and made it clear she wants nothing to do with me, and doesnt care what i do or what happens to me. she made it clear she does not want me for my mental issues.
i still worship her mentally. even after all this. the worst pain in my life. ALL IM ASKING FOR IS THE CHANCE TO TELL HER HOW I FEEL, ADMIT MY WRONGS, TELL HER WHAT SHE WAS RIGHT ABOUT. and she hates me. she texted me today after i saw her grandfather, calling me creepy, ( i would never stalk her, or do anything to harm her EVER) she is saying all this stuff i would never do!!!
all i wanna do is speak to her in person, im trying to convince her still to speak to me in person, i want to show the most respect i can to her!!!!!! even after this. i want to make her happy. SHE WAS EXTREMELY HAPPY WITH ME UNTIL I TOLD HER HOW MY BRAIN WORKS. IT HURTS SO BADLY. I LOST HER FOR THINGS AND THOUGHTS THAT HAVE ALREADY RUINED MY LIFE. PLEASE HELP, ILL ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS. i told her if we talked in person and she still didnt want anything to do with id never contact her again. i dont want to talk to any other girl i dont care what they provide me!!! i know this wont work out but my mind is wrapped around her, and everything i see reminds me of her.
please help me!!! how do i explain this???????? im confident i can convince to at least speak to me one more time. if not ill be ruined but if so how do i explain the asperger part of this?????? this is the 5 or 6th girl to leave me for this i cant take it i love this girl in particular!!!
i have been dating this girl for 4 months. she is the most gorgeous girl ive ever seen. she lives and works both right next to where i live. she has been the most major part of my life, we have spent all of that time together. she is not the first girl ive dated. but she is the first girl ive let in my heart due to many emotional issues. shes the first girl ive let completely in my life. shes the first girl ive had sex with we had sex (60-70 times). shes literally everything to me. i often called her my goddess and i truly worshiped her. i think of her every second of every day. i am obsessed with her, she made me feel so good, she did so much to make me feel good. she went out of her way to make me happy and she did. i would give every worldy possession to be with her. i would sacrifice everything.
we have been broken up for 2 and a half weeks now.
shes a very social person, i trusted her during our relationship. she gave me no reason not too. our relationship was ruined because of my aspergers problems.
we broke up because i told her i wasnt feeling well (mentally), she asked "is gonna be like this everyday?" i said yeah probably and she was very mad. so i told her we should break up. (i was extremely upset for no reason and thats why i said this). and we talked later that night in person. she got tired of dealing with this
she told me the following, "i dont see you in my future" (we had made many plans), "i have to force myself on you because i dont find you attractive anymore." "you always look like you hate me and im tired of it" "you always act so angry" "you make me feel so guilty after we have sex" "you only want me because i am the first person you had sex with" "you only want me because im the only one here for you" and more. i cried myself to sleep (when we were still together) every night because i already felt bad about this. i literally worship her. so i said "im so hurt right now, i dont even know what to say, id be better off without you (i didnt mean it, i didnt want to look weak.) and she got out of the car and went inside.
i panicked after that and i tried my best not to text her, but i did alot. she blocked me a week later. i was trying to express my feelings and get a chance to tell her how i feel and that she was wrong about how i felt.i love her legit. i went by her work mcdonalds, (which i used to sit there for 1-3 hours to give her a ride home and spend 5 minutes with her.) so the general manger and coworkers knew me. i went by with a rose and i wanted to apologize and admit she was right. she saw me and ran to the back. i was asked to leave and was told she didnt want me there. she called me creepy later that day and made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me. i never got to say how i felt, and thats all i wanted to do.
shes told me things within the last week as i quote
" i dont want anything to do with you, im tired of you and the way you act"
"dont ever come around me again dont see me at work and dont come by my house"
"you need to find someone else to deal with your problems"
i dont even wanna type all the mean things shes said.........
i told her my biggest insecurities (losing her, making me feel like im just another guy, and lying about loving me) and she did all 3 and ive never felt worse, ive been in many relationships but not like this. she made all 3 of those insecurities so much worse.
i went by her house today, to make a long story short i went to speak with her grandfather. he basically said shes not worth it and to move on. he was very concerned i was going to kill myself. i assume from some feelings i told the girl.
i know she blatantly disrespected me. hurt me. broke me. cussed me out. probably talking to someone else (assume). and made it clear she wants nothing to do with me, and doesnt care what i do or what happens to me. she made it clear she does not want me for my mental issues.
i still worship her mentally. even after all this. the worst pain in my life. ALL IM ASKING FOR IS THE CHANCE TO TELL HER HOW I FEEL, ADMIT MY WRONGS, TELL HER WHAT SHE WAS RIGHT ABOUT. and she hates me. she texted me today after i saw her grandfather, calling me creepy, ( i would never stalk her, or do anything to harm her EVER) she is saying all this stuff i would never do!!!
all i wanna do is speak to her in person, im trying to convince her still to speak to me in person, i want to show the most respect i can to her!!!!!! even after this. i want to make her happy. SHE WAS EXTREMELY HAPPY WITH ME UNTIL I TOLD HER HOW MY BRAIN WORKS. IT HURTS SO BADLY. I LOST HER FOR THINGS AND THOUGHTS THAT HAVE ALREADY RUINED MY LIFE. PLEASE HELP, ILL ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS. i told her if we talked in person and she still didnt want anything to do with id never contact her again. i dont want to talk to any other girl i dont care what they provide me!!! i know this wont work out but my mind is wrapped around her, and everything i see reminds me of her.
please help me!!! how do i explain this???????? im confident i can convince to at least speak to me one more time. if not ill be ruined but if so how do i explain the asperger part of this?????? this is the 5 or 6th girl to leave me for this i cant take it i love this girl in particular!!!