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Is this me?

S

saltyysea

New Member
This is me, and what has lead me to this forum..

I have felt different since childhood. Overly sensitive to life. Hyper aware in any social situation. Awkward or inadequate feeling. When it came to social anything, my anxieties were to the point of physical illness. They have become worse as of late. I have daily anxiety over anything, I can become obsessive of my interests, my relationships are chaotic, my depression hangs around because I still have yet to pinpoint what is going on with me.
I have never been formally diagnosed but have seen a few psychologists who have mentioned symptoms of major depressive episodes, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorder, attachment disorder, and ocd. I can relate to these in different ways, but still do not feel like treating these symptoms with medications has had any benefit to my life. If anything it has been the exact opposite.
To the point where I have had an allergic reaction to medications.

I began researching Aspergers a little more this morning and find myself in tears.
A large number of relatable traits throughout my life.

An appointment with my gp again tomorrow, but where to go from here?
What questions to ask?
Which specialists to bring up?
What medication will tame the intense anxieties of the basic everyday?

Any advice here is welcome, and humbly appreciated.
 
upload_2018-12-9_9-48-59.png
 
Hi,
There is no medication for autism per se. But there are for the comorbid conditions that often accompany it, such as anxiety & depression. Medications are often a trial and error process, finding one that works for you.
 
Hi Saltysea - I am in complete agreement with Tom. Meds are all trial and error. You seem to be aware of enough of your issues to get a good conversation going with your doctor. Awareness is paramount to understanding what is at play when you assess your anxieties and confusion about life and self. Good luck with the GP. I have always found this forum to be helpful - good people sharing common concerns and dilemmas.
 
I was put on so many different antidepressants and anxiety meds that did not help or made me feel worse! Antipsychotics made me feel better. I haven’t been on them for very long but I can feel myself improving
 
Hi @saltyysea and welcome to the forum
I was diagnosed as a teenager and I'm now pushing 50. I've still been prescribed SSRIs and other meds over the years. Depression and anxiety is common in autism.
We don't know where in the world you are, but I know that if you make your case to your GP in the UK they will refer you for assessment. Waiting times vary from 3 months to 30 months, but the sooner you start the process, the sooner you get an answer, wherever you are.
A privately funded diagnosis is always quicker everywhere, so if you have the funds that may be a possibility. Women are often missed or misdiagnosed due to the common misconception of autism being primarily a male thing. Some of our members here were diagnosed in their 50s or 60s.
 
Hello & welcome.
saltyysea said:
An appointment with my gp again tomorrow, but where to go from here?
What questions to ask?
Which specialists to bring up...?
Click to expand...
If you are in the USA, your GP is not the best one to help sort this out.

Contact one of the organizations below and ask them to recommend an autism-competent therapist to evaluate you. (Many regular psychologist are unfamiliar with this specialty.)
 
Hi, @saltyysea , and welcome.

I went through many of the same experiences that you did.
A few "diagnoses" that never seemed to accurately reflect the totality of my experiences.
6 mos ago, while researching (for my sister, who has an autistic son), I came in contact with ASD information that "struck a nerve".
After a more comprehensive investigation, I was left with the certainty of my ASD.

Later, I broached the subject with my GP.
After a (maybe) rambling explanation of my suspicions, my GP said "I knew after three minutes of your explanation."
She referred me to a therapist who is also in concurrance.
I am on the road to diagnosis.
You will find that stories like ours are all too common.
This is a fantastic place to discover such stories.
I can only call my discovery an epiphany.

ASD dx presents difficulties that other dx's don't.
Continue to research, investigate whether you are on the spectrum.
If you believe yourself to be, continue to research.
Familiarize yourself with your specific traits, sensitivities, etc.
Often it is difficult to describe the ways in which we are affected.
If you study, you will be better prepared to answer any questions, presenting a better picture of your observations, and a more accurate assessment.

Welcome to the party!

sidd
 
saltyysea said:
This is me, and what has lead me to this forum..

I have felt different since childhood. Overly sensitive to life. Hyper aware in any social situation. Awkward or inadequate feeling. When it came to social anything, my anxieties were to the point of physical illness. They have become worse as of late. I have daily anxiety over anything, I can become obsessive of my interests, my relationships are chaotic, my depression hangs around because I still have yet to pinpoint what is going on with me.
I have never been formally diagnosed but have seen a few psychologists who have mentioned symptoms of major depressive episodes, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorder, attachment disorder, and ocd. I can relate to these in different ways, but still do not feel like treating these symptoms with medications has had any benefit to my life. If anything it has been the exact opposite.
To the point where I have had an allergic reaction to medications.

I began researching Aspergers a little more this morning and find myself in tears.
A large number of relatable traits throughout my life.

An appointment with my gp again tomorrow, but where to go from here?
What questions to ask?
Which specialists to bring up?
What medication will tame the intense anxieties of the basic everyday?

Any advice here is welcome, and humbly appreciated.
Click to expand...

Welcome to Autismforums, saltyysea. I want to wish you the best of luck working thru these understandings about
yourself. It will feel daunting at times. Don’t give up! Be a solid advocate for yourself. Ask questions and follow up questions. Don’t be taken over. Picture us all here at Autismforums standing just off stage cheering you on with encouragement and support.
 
Welcome Saltyysea.
Write questions down, but, do question.
I was in my late 50's before a diagnosis.
Unravelling the threads you will learn so much about yourself and this is a great place for it too.
There will be mixed emotions, but, I'm glad I found out and keep growing.
 
Thank you all, for the honest and supportive responses.
For those who were wondering/mentioned - I reside in Canada

It has been a long few weeks. Since opening up on the forum, I have met with my GP multiple times. I brought up autism and Aspergers - he simply printed a questionnaire from the internet (while stating he should keep such things in his office), and had me fill it all out.
He suggested I may be going through another major depressive episode, and asks every appt if I am bipolar. There is 1 aunt in my family with a combined diagnosis of bipolar 1 with ptsd.

I have been told I have ptsd prior, and I believe I have read that those illnesses can be quite similar in symptoms.

I agreed to try medication again, and quickly found out that zoloft does not work for me anymore. I am also very much allergic to something with the brand name Pristiq(?) - that resulted in an emergency visit.
This has landed me to a week+ of being prescribed Mirtazipine.
Has anyone tried this drug before?
This has helped tremendously with my panic attacks! I no longer experience waves that give me the spins/physical illness - or get to a point that I pass out.
I am however still very low in my mood, anxiety is slowly creeping back in a weird/sad feeling way, and nightsweats are coming back. Perhaps it is just time to up my dose.

I still do not feel like I have an answer to the rest of me.
My social skills, my thought processing, habits and quirks, obsessions. It’s not all bad, but sometimes these traits can mess up my life in huge ways when not dealt with appropriately. I feel like I have lost a lot from not having complete answers most of my life.

I am still moving forward with my research and self reflecting, because I do still feel there is a link here that is beyond the traumas I have experienced.

Would any of you have links to share?
Questionnaires, research materials, personal stories that you’ve found relateable/insightful?

Many thanks again for all the responses, and reading my online rants. It helps tremendously.
 
JNZ said:
I was put on so many different antidepressants and anxiety meds that did not help or made me feel worse! Antipsychotics made me feel better. I haven’t been on them for very long but I can feel myself improving
Click to expand...


May I ask what symptoms you were experiencing prior to deciding an antipsychotic was right for you? That is a type of medication I have never researched, or experienced myself.
Happy to hear you have found some improvement with it!
 
Crossbreed said:
Hello & welcome.

If you are in the USA, your GP is not the best one to help sort this out.

Contact one of the organizations below and ask them to recommend an autism-competent therapist to evaluate you. (Many regular psychologist are unfamiliar with this specialty.)
Click to expand...

I am in Canada, but am finding it difficult to figure this out with my GP and psychologists. Thank you for the links, I will have to search for similar associations in my area.
 
Mirtazipine is an SSRI and it's got a reputation for being fast acting. The fact you're seeing an improvement after a week or so is a testament to that. Plenty of us find ourselves on similar drugs and much stronger too. I've been on Sertraline for the last few months and have had Fluoxetine previously.
As to questionnaires - I'll leave that to others to direct you. I was diagnosed a long time ago so I've not really used them, except the occasional curiosity. For online articles, it's quite an open question. It depends on what aspects you want to find out about.
I would suggest YouTube is a good place to start. I'd recommend my own channel:
Autistamatic
AgonyAutie
Agony Autie
And Neurodivergent Rebel
Neurodivergent Rebel

As good places to start for general information and specifics about particular areas of the ASD experience from an insider's perspective.
 
saltyysea said:
This is me, and what has lead me to this forum..

I have felt different since childhood. Overly sensitive to life. Hyper aware in any social situation. Awkward or inadequate feeling. When it came to social anything, my anxieties were to the point of physical illness. They have become worse as of late. I have daily anxiety over anything, I can become obsessive of my interests, my relationships are chaotic, my depression hangs around because I still have yet to pinpoint what is going on with me.
I have never been formally diagnosed but have seen a few psychologists who have mentioned symptoms of major depressive episodes, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorder, attachment disorder, and ocd. I can relate to these in different ways, but still do not feel like treating these symptoms with medications has had any benefit to my life. If anything it has been the exact opposite.
To the point where I have had an allergic reaction to medications.

I began researching Aspergers a little more this morning and find myself in tears.
A large number of relatable traits throughout my life.

An appointment with my gp again tomorrow, but where to go from here?
What questions to ask?
Which specialists to bring up?
What medication will tame the intense anxieties of the basic everyday?

Any advice here is welcome, and humbly appreciated.
Click to expand...
is there such a thing as an autism diagnosis team in Canada ?!in some parts of the UK we have that ,in other parts not .One of the bits of information I know is ,if someone was not socialised from early childhood they could look autistic !but I think a psychiatrist or a psychologist would know the difference ,in the UK you can self refer to a psychological service in my area .
 
It varies all over the country unfortunately, let alone internationally. I'm in the SW and it takes a GP or an Educational referral here. Self referrals won't be accepted by the NHS.
 
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