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I Can't Cope Up With My First Job

Irakus34

Just someone else in this world.
Hi, it's been a long time.

This week, I found a job, my first job and yesterday was my first day in there. I'm in a residency with old disabled, dependent people. I have workmates and my shift was pretty calm to be honest.

However, it's evening shift from 2:15 pm to 10:00 pm and we have to take the car for 30 minutes. So yesterday literally I spent 24 hours without eating. I almost collapsed from tiredness. I'm still sick even after eating and sleeping the whole night.

I have lunch around 3 pm, my milk with cookies at 7 pm (and this is sincerely my weak point). I couldn't eat any of this, I took breakfast at 11 am and didn't eat another proper food until 11 pm, considering I only drink a coffee in the morning.

I don't know how to eat, when, what. My routine was totally broken and I'm lost about what to do. I don't want to eat at 12 pm because I literally can't, my stomach is closed yet. But if I don't, my break is at 6 pm and not enough time to eat something strong as it's short and I eat slowly.

Today, I have another of those shifts and I'm about to do the same. I don't want to go. I'm mentally collapsed right now. I have no idea why. It's so many hours out of my home (10 hours), talking with people constantly, being lost about how I should treat the patients, their names, their stuff. I need the money, but it's a mental effort to get up in the mornings that I want to cry.

And I have contract until mid September. I need the money. I have to work. But I'm really afraid to collapse.

Next week I will have morming shift (from 7:15 am to 3 pm) and waking up at 6 am will be truly difficult. The work will be doubled. They want me to catch up in no time. But it's truly overwhelming to me. Sometimes I really wonder if working with people suits me because I do burnout quickly. Even if I like it.

3 hours to go and I can't even have breakfast, my head is hurting, my muscles are hurting, my anxiety is high and I move seriously slow.

I do wonder if I can somehow function in this profession. I'm just in here because I like to take care of people, but also because I need the money. My dream job is writing, writing scripts, whole stories and seeing them through a screen. But I've never had a chance for that. Life just gave me this and I must treasure this opportunity. Without dying in the try.

What should I do to survive? I just want to sleep in my bed.
 
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Im sorry you are experiencing this, and at the same time I am glad that you can learn so much about your current limits.

Its good that you was offered a job and its great that you did your best efford.

If you honestly think that you wont be able to cope with the job requirements at this time of your life, the best thing you can do is to explain it to yout boss and kindly offer him to help the company from your home, maybe doing some other taks that is more easy to you.

Getting a shutdown or a illness just to prove others or yourself that you did your 100% is not worth it. Your body is already telling you clearly that you should not do this.

You can take this experience to learn and if you feel so, to start being more flexible with your routines and to babystep doing some of the things that are so difficult rigth know. You may found that you can move out of your confort zone and slowly learn new skills or you may found strong limits that should show you which works are off the limits for you.

Learning about how you can provide value to others and how you cant is very important.

I wish you the best. Take care of your needs
 
I understand the point that you’re at. Ive just completed my contract and whilst I have mixed emotions about that ending, I can’t forget how it was in the first few months (aug to dec). I was overworked and overwhelmed during This time period (granted it was really a little longer but I did manage to find a balance). My weekends were taken up with catching up and preparing for the next week, but I had additional expectations like unit planners, curriculum mapping and grading By the time I reached December, I was burnt out And became sick. I’m still not sure what it was but I know it wasn’t covid. I got that one in March, and was still expected to do work from home whilst completely out of it.

My point is that, you have to learn to prioritize your time, adapt to a new routine. which is easier said than done, I know. Make sure that you do eat, and eat well, eve if it’s snacking small meals throughout the day. I did not do this, and would often forget to eat until 11pm or work and eat but go to bed at 12 am to be up for 6 for a start at 8.Eventually after December, I did this for refueling myself in the day: I never could eat breakfast but would have a coffee and then a short lunch any time I had a break, because I always had some expectation happening even during the scheduled lunch time, then ensured I had dinner back at the house after work, then maybe did something that was needed for the next day but never again up to midnight.

Health and well being was too important to continue that.


yesterday was my first day in there.
You e only had one day, it’s normal to feel overwhelmEd like this.
evening shift from 2:15 pm to 10:00 pm and we have to take the car for 30 minutes. So yesterday literally I spent 24 hours without eating.
get up early, To give your stomach time to start up.
have breakfast.

I don't want to eat at 12 pm because I literally can't, my stomach is closed yet. But if I don't, my break is at 6 pm
Eat Lunch at 1pm.
Eat a snack during the break.
have morming shift (from 7:15 am to 3 pm) and waking up at 6 am will be truly difficult.
morning shift sounds more in line to your current routine of lunch at 3pm etc. waking up early can be horrible but after doing it a bit, it’s easier. Then you find out that you get up automatically at that time.
3 hours to go and I can't even have breakfast, my head is hurting, my muscles are hurting, my anxiety is high and I move seriously slow.
The anxiety anticipation is causing this. Remember, this is the second day. You survived the first. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you could have just not shown up or walked away. You didn’t. Today will be the same. But you do have to adjust your routine in the morning.

I wish you luck.
 
Me, run to the bathroom, pull jerky out, grab couple bites, (pure protein), this will sustain you for awhile. Then when contract ends, you let someone know , you need 15 min breaks. We use to sneak food at the restaurant because if it's busy, you never got a break, but the pay was so high, you couldn't complain.
 
For next week, I recommend getting foods that are quick to prepare because at this time you are exhausted. Nutrition-wise it would be best to choose a protein, a carbohydrate, and some fruit. foods that easily achieve this are Cheerios with milk and sliced bananas, Yogurt with granola and blueberries, instant oatmeal with nuts (or nut butter) and apples are ones that come up to mind. If you cannot eat a meal during the day, I recommend snacking on nuts, cheese, fruit, whole grain crackers things like that.

Another recommendation if you cannot eat anything is drinking Ensure. Ensure is primarily used for people with nutrient deficiencies, for weight gain and/or maintaining a healthy weight. I recommend Ensure because it has a more balanced nutrition. I would also like to say if it is out of price range, or if you are diabetic, there are other nutrition shakes that work the same. Ensure is very yummy in my experience with having to drink nutrition shakes that is why I recommended it. (It could also be prescribed to you so you wouldn't have to pay)

I wish you the best have a nice day.
 
35+ years in healthcare, here.

Each shift will have its routines, tasks, and downtimes. However, the "poop can hit the fan" at any moment, so you have to take those little 5-10 minute breaks, restroom, drink of water, a quick snack, etc. whenever you can. Eventually, you WILL figure it out,...you're just new and haven't quite sorted it out yet,...plus, anything new can be a bit stressful,...lots to learn and so on. Don't be so hard on yourself,...NOBODY can get a job down in a week,...or two,...or even a month. Consider yourself "low on the learning curve",...totally OK,...try to let your mind relax,...let the emotions subside,...and just keep asking appropriate questions from the more experienced team members.

I have found too, that once you get your "system" down, more downtime will open up as you get more efficient,...and then you can take those "mini breaks",...those 5-10 minute moments when you can let your brain "cool off" and relax. It's one of my daily coping strategies. One of the advantages of being on the spectrum and being a bit less social,...I can focus and get my tasks completed before many of my other teammates.

Hang in there. ;)
 
Given it's a short term position, just do your best, and make sure you're able to set some time aside for something you like and/or cheers you up, like listening to your favourite music.

I think your employer will understand, given you're new, that you may need time to settle in and adjust. And if you think it might help, maybe you could negotiate for additional breaks?
 
I hope that today was a little better of a day at work.

Just remember to look down at your hands and know that every hour, those bad boys are making you money. Count up how much cash you've racked up towards your paycheck. Maybe that will inspire you? Think of all the cool stuff you can get. Think about the freedom that financial independence brings.


*******
Also, I wanted to say, maybe think about the old folks, and form relationships with them. It might brighten your day and theirs, to come in their room with a cheery smile. Pretend they are your grandparents, and treat them accordingly. It might make you feel good.


*******

But if you find that you do not like this kind of work, then just start looking for another job on your time off. Think about your talents, and go for it.

If you are in the USA, there is a free program called "Job Corps". You live in a dorm on campus, get free food and clothing, and go to class every day to get certified in the skilled trade of your choice! Everything from Business and Clerical, to Medical Assisting, to Culinary, to Landscaping, Plastering, Construction, Masonry, Seamanship, etc.

If a student needs it, they also help you get a diploma or GED, and also your driver's license.

There are dances and clubs, an art room, gym, etc. It's just like a college, except you go at your own pace- as fast or slow as you naturally learn. And even better- you get a paycheck too!

It is absolutely free! And they help you find a job when you graduate. Also, if you graduate and you were a good student, they will pay for you to go to the local community college to get your associates. Or, you can get advanced training at Treasure Island Job Corps, on an Island in the San Francisco Bay!!
 
Last edited:
Im sorry you are experiencing this, and at the same time I am glad that you can learn so much about your current limits.

Its good that you was offered a job and its great that you did your best efford.

If you honestly think that you wont be able to cope with the job requirements at this time of your life, the best thing you can do is to explain it to yout boss and kindly offer him to help the company from your home, maybe doing some other taks that is more easy to you.

Getting a shutdown or a illness just to prove others or yourself that you did your 100% is not worth it. Your body is already telling you clearly that you should not do this.

You can take this experience to learn and if you feel so, to start being more flexible with your routines and to babystep doing some of the things that are so difficult rigth know. You may found that you can move out of your confort zone and slowly learn new skills or you may found strong limits that should show you which works are off the limits for you.

Learning about how you can provide value to others and how you cant is very important.

I wish you the best. Take care of your needs
Thank you so much. I'm still going on with it, having a few days off this week luckily to recover. I'm adapting, knowing how to take care of myself better. Still, I fell ill. It's an experience that will end in less than a month so I will try to bear with it under a medical opinion and really learn for a future job.

I'm giving my best.
 
I understand the point that you’re at. Ive just completed my contract and whilst I have mixed emotions about that ending, I can’t forget how it was in the first few months (aug to dec). I was overworked and overwhelmed during This time period (granted it was really a little longer but I did manage to find a balance). My weekends were taken up with catching up and preparing for the next week, but I had additional expectations like unit planners, curriculum mapping and grading By the time I reached December, I was burnt out And became sick. I’m still not sure what it was but I know it wasn’t covid. I got that one in March, and was still expected to do work from home whilst completely out of it.

My point is that, you have to learn to prioritize your time, adapt to a new routine. which is easier said than done, I know. Make sure that you do eat, and eat well, eve if it’s snacking small meals throughout the day. I did not do this, and would often forget to eat until 11pm or work and eat but go to bed at 12 am to be up for 6 for a start at 8.Eventually after December, I did this for refueling myself in the day: I never could eat breakfast but would have a coffee and then a short lunch any time I had a break, because I always had some expectation happening even during the scheduled lunch time, then ensured I had dinner back at the house after work, then maybe did something that was needed for the next day but never again up to midnight.

Health and well being was too important to continue that.



You e only had one day, it’s normal to feel overwhelmEd like this.

get up early, To give your stomach time to start up.
have breakfast.


Eat Lunch at 1pm.
Eat a snack during the break.

morning shift sounds more in line to your current routine of lunch at 3pm etc. waking up early can be horrible but after doing it a bit, it’s easier. Then you find out that you get up automatically at that time.

The anxiety anticipation is causing this. Remember, this is the second day. You survived the first. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you could have just not shown up or walked away. You didn’t. Today will be the same. But you do have to adjust your routine in the morning.

I wish you luck.
Thank you a lot, I did change my meals to keep eating the whole day the needed to survive. Still it seems mental stress can hurt way more than physical tiredness. I've been working for 10 days and I'm in serious health troubles. Gonna ask for medical opinion to see if I should carry on with this.
 
Me, run to the bathroom, pull jerky out, grab couple bites, (pure protein), this will sustain you for awhile. Then when contract ends, you let someone know , you need 15 min breaks. We use to sneak food at the restaurant because if it's busy, you never got a break, but the pay was so high, you couldn't complain.
That's the thing, the pay is enough to maintain a good level in my house so I'm pushing myself. We do eat through the shift all that's left because we're hungry and it's going to be thrown away so that helps indeed. Thank you.
 
For next week, I recommend getting foods that are quick to prepare because at this time you are exhausted. Nutrition-wise it would be best to choose a protein, a carbohydrate, and some fruit. foods that easily achieve this are Cheerios with milk and sliced bananas, Yogurt with granola and blueberries, instant oatmeal with nuts (or nut butter) and apples are ones that come up to mind. If you cannot eat a meal during the day, I recommend snacking on nuts, cheese, fruit, whole grain crackers things like that.

Another recommendation if you cannot eat anything is drinking Ensure. Ensure is primarily used for people with nutrient deficiencies, for weight gain and/or maintaining a healthy weight. I recommend Ensure because it has a more balanced nutrition. I would also like to say if it is out of price range, or if you are diabetic, there are other nutrition shakes that work the same. Ensure is very yummy in my experience with having to drink nutrition shakes that is why I recommended it. (It could also be prescribed to you so you wouldn't have to pay)

I wish you the best have a nice day
I followed your advice even if I answer now. I started to eat bananas and sugar/salty products (because I tend to have them low) and never skip a meal, if I do, I drink one nutrition shake, not Ensure, but one alike that works truly well too. This week I will have a check up to see if I don't lack any vitamin or mineral.
Thank you so much.
 
35+ years in healthcare, here.

Each shift will have its routines, tasks, and downtimes. However, the "poop can hit the fan" at any moment, so you have to take those little 5-10 minute breaks, restroom, drink of water, a quick snack, etc. whenever you can. Eventually, you WILL figure it out,...you're just new and haven't quite sorted it out yet,...plus, anything new can be a bit stressful,...lots to learn and so on. Don't be so hard on yourself,...NOBODY can get a job down in a week,...or two,...or even a month. Consider yourself "low on the learning curve",...totally OK,...try to let your mind relax,...let the emotions subside,...and just keep asking appropriate questions from the more experienced team members.

I have found too, that once you get your "system" down, more downtime will open up as you get more efficient,...and then you can take those "mini breaks",...those 5-10 minute moments when you can let your brain "cool off" and relax. It's one of my daily coping strategies. One of the advantages of being on the spectrum and being a bit less social,...I can focus and get my tasks completed before many of my other teammates.

Hang in there. ;)
I followed your advices and became a bit cheekier with my breaks. I learned the hours when work is the least to sit and rest, eat, drink properly. I also take any short break to sit down. My breaks went from 10 minutes to even 40 because I saw the unit was calm with the other worker. It improved my quality. And I must admit that not talking unless it's work related helps a lot to focus, though I always mess up somehow, but that's my habit.

Thank you so much.
 
Given it's a short term position, just do your best, and make sure you're able to set some time aside for something you like and/or cheers you up, like listening to your favourite music.

I think your employer will understand, given you're new, that you may need time to settle in and adjust. And if you think it might help, maybe you could negotiate for additional breaks?
Unluckily, the fact that you're new doesn't matter. Some people may give you time to learn and some won't. I found myself being rushed to learn when I'm pretty slow and dubious, but it's because everyone in there lived the same treatment. It's a very though work, but when I found the right breaks, I can maintain a better energy.

Thank you.
 
I hope that today was a little better of a day at work.

Just remember to look down at your hands and know that every hour, those bad boys are making you money. Count up how much cash you've racked up towards your paycheck. Maybe that will inspire you? Think of all the cool stuff you can get. Think about the freedom that financial independence brings.


*******
Also, I wanted to say, maybe think about the old folks, and form relationships with them. It might brighten your day and theirs, to come in their room with a cheery smile. Pretend they are your grandparents, and treat them accordingly. It might make you feel good.


*******

But if you find that you do not like this kind of work, then just start looking for another job on your time off. Think about your talents, and go for it.

If you are in the USA, there is a free program called "Job Corps". You live in a dorm on campus, get free food and clothing, and go to class every day to get certified in the skilled trade of your choice! Everything from Business and Clerical, to Medical Assisting, to Culinary, to Landscaping, Plastering, Construction, Masonry, Seamanship, etc.

If a student needs it, they also help you get a diploma or GED, and also your driver's license.

There are dances and clubs, an art room, gym, etc. It's just like a college, except you go at your own pace- as fast or slow as you naturally learn. And even better- you get a paycheck too!

It is absolutely free! And they help you find a job when you graduate. Also, if you graduate and you were a good student, they will pay for you to go to the local community college to get your associates. Or, you can get advanced training at Treasure Island Job Corps, on an Island in the San Francisco Bay!!
These days I tried to focus my mind on that, on the money I was going to get and on how some patients are liking me more and more the more time I spend with them. This weekend I changed unit and some of the previous one kissed and hugged me in the hallways. That really helps me to keep going no matter how sick I may feel.

And thank you a lot for that information, it's a pity I'm from Spain and things are harder. Still I'm happy you have such chances in there!
 
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