Eye contact between aspies: does it feel different?

[Khendra]

My mother had to work a lot with me when I was younger to make eye contact. I still find it quite awkward and intimate with most people, although some people have told me I'm usually ok at it now. But I pick and choose my spots so I don't have to make eye contact quite as much as NTs usually do.

 

[Jade1498]

I tend to have trouble with eye contact, when I feel inferior to someone or they just make me feel uncomfortable.

When you say you have trouble with eye contact, do you mean it’s painful for yourself and the person who’s eyes your looking into? Or just that u can’t seem to keep it

 

[tducey]

I always try to make eye contact with someone when speaking with them.

 

[Solphire]

I just found my first RL social group for autistic adults and it was AMAZING (it is a game night too!)! We didn't do small talk, and just got straight to asking the questions we wanted to know. We were all socially different and therefore for once, it felt like our ways of socializing was 'normal'.

And I do think it was easier to maintain eye contact with others on my wavelength. Granted, it wasn't held long, and my eyes still darted around, but when I made the three second contact it felt comfortable, and nonthreatening. I found I could actually read them, like someone else said, like looking in a mirror. There was honesty and genuine friendliness in their eyes that I have not seen before this night. I am looking forward to the next gathering next month!

 

[Jade1498]

I just found my first RL social group for autistic adults and it was AMAZING (it is a game night too!)! We didn't do small talk, and just got straight to asking the questions we wanted to know. We were all socially different and therefore for once, it felt like our ways of socializing was 'normal'.

And I do think it was easier to maintain eye contact with others on my wavelength. Granted, it wasn't held long, and my eyes still darted around, but when I made the three second contact it felt comfortable, and nonthreatening. I found I could actually read them, like someone else said, like looking in a mirror. There was honesty and genuine friendliness in their eyes that I have not seen before this night. I am looking forward to the next gathering next month!

I just found my first RL social group for autistic adults and it was AMAZING (it is a game night too!)! We didn't do small talk, and just got straight to asking the questions we wanted to know. We were all socially different and therefore for once, it felt like our ways of socializing was 'normal'.

And I do think it was easier to maintain eye contact with others on my wavelength. Granted, it wasn't held long, and my eyes still darted around, but when I made the three second contact it felt comfortable, and nonthreatening. I found I could actually read them, like someone else said, like looking in a mirror. There was honesty and genuine friendliness in their eyes that I have not seen before this night. I am looking forward to the next gathering next month!

that’s amazing, I’m glad u found that and you felt comfortable there !

 

[CinnamonCrumbs]

Oh yes, it's different! As a person who is always been afraid of eye contact (except the recent years, I'm lot more confident than ever before), I've noticed that making shy eye contact with another aspie' shy eyes is extremely uncomfortable! When both of us have insecure, flashing eyes (briefly, almost nervously glancing at each other), I can easily get into overthinking-circle: "Did I just stared too much? Should I have to look into his/her eyes right now? Or is it strange? Am I strange-eyed person??"

Although the constantly staring eyes of NT are also barely bearable.

 

[Aspychata]

Guess by not staring at you, l am not really engaging, doing bare min to get by. If l am never going to see someone again, l don't really need to engage and see u! It's whatever u want to call it.

 

[Jade1498]

Oh yes, it's different! As a person who is always been afraid of eye contact (except the recent years, I'm lot more confident than ever before), I've noticed that making shy eye contact with another aspie' shy eyes is extremely uncomfortable! When both of us have insecure, flashing eyes (briefly, almost nervously glancing at each other), I can easily get into overthinking-circle: "Did I just stared too much? Should I have to look into his/her eyes right now? Or is it strange? Am I strange-eyed person??"

Although the constantly staring eyes of NT are also barely bearable.

I avoid it at all costs, I think when I do accidentally catch someone’s eye I must look like a deer in headlights.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Eye contact is not a big deal for me. Since socializing more I been making normal eye contact. I actually find it easier to make eye contact with girls than guys.