Aspie Son wants to get rich quick

[Mom]

My son is a senior in college, and for the past three years, he has not held an actual part-time job except working occasionally for his dad, and a few hours with on online job. He joined Amway for a year, and after losing all his savings, he quit that.

Now he is looking into some online investment scheme. He is certain he will be rich in a few years, when all the money he does earn gets wasted. He lives at home, so the only expense he has is his car, which he saved money when he was young, and paid cash for it - but now he thinks he is above the average person, and does not want to work for any company.

Will he ever realize there is no get rich quick, except for the lottery??

 

[Tom]

That is kind of a unanswerable question. I think even Mysterio the All seeing would be stumped.

 

[GadAbout]

My son is a senior in college, and for the past three years, he has not held an actual part-time job except working occasionally for his dad, and a few hours with on online job. He joined Amway for a year, and after losing all his savings, he quit that.

Now he is looking into some online investment scheme. He is certain he will be rich in a few years, when all the money he does earn gets wasted. He lives at home, so the only expense he has is his car, which he saved money when he was young, and paid cash for it - but now he thinks he is above the average person, and does not want to work for any company.

Will he ever realize there is no get rich quick, except for the lottery??

I think a reasonable expectation to get him facing reality is asking him to pay rent and a share of utilities after he graduates. Let him know this is coming, of course. Also imply that you have the expectation he will support himself once he has his degree, and urge him to take advantage of any placement services his college offers.

At least the Amway experience should have taught him to avoid multi-level marketing schemes that are basically a form of Ponzi scheme.

If he really wants to try that online thing, sit down with him and get him budgeting so that every month, he sets out what he needs to pay those basic bills - car expenses, rent, utilities, medical insurance. But also help him figure out how to evaluate the company and whether it is just pie in the sky. I wouldn't put a kibosh on it completely, because it could be your autistic son is exactly the guy who really could make this work - and you don't want to squash someone's dreams. But let him learn how to minimize his risk.

I recommend you not make his at-home existence too comfy. I would recommend against picking up his medical insurance, for instance, and certainly his car insurance. Make sure you place expectations on him as to his share of household chores, too. If there are tensions between him and the rest of the household, don't bend over backward to prevent them, but explain that when he gets his own place, he can make more of the rules. And then help him figure out how to get his own place! (finding, securing, and maintaining a rental, for instance, including adequate savings to cover a security deposit)

 

[Fino]

My brother has a similar idea and is still living at home into his mid-thirties because of it, but my parents do nothing GadAbout suggested. Do those but if you don't, do something. Some people will just stay in one spot forever while everyone around them is waiting for the problem to fix itself.

 

[Autistamatic]

Autistics need to learn about the harsh realities of life, budgeting, saving and supporting ourselves with what we have rather than dreams, as much as anyone else. Sometimes the only way is by making mistakes and living with the consequences.
Sink or swim were the options many of us over 40 were faced with, autistic or not. No bail outs, no fall back position, just cold, hard reality. Independence does not come without a price, and if you can teach him that price without another Amway type experience, you'll have done as good a job as you can.

 

[Nervous Rex]

A friend told me once, "You can't scam an honest man." I take it to mean that the more you're looking for an easy way out, the more susceptible you will be to scams. The "honest man" doesn't try the easy way out.

Here are a few general ways to see through any get rich quick scheme:

1) Ask why they're selling the scheme. The get rich quick schemes often include a testimonial about how much money someone made/makes doing it and how you can, too. Ask yourself, "If they're making so much money doing that, why are they here trying to sell me the idea instead?"

2) Ask why everyone isn't doing it. If it's easy to make money on the stock market, why isn't everyone doing it?

2) Ask what would happen if everyone did it. If everyone in the world was trying to buy real estate low and sell high, how would that work? If everyone in the world did Amway, only the top 1% of people would get rich at it (based on each person having to have 63 people under them, in a 6-level pyramid with each person having 2 recruits).

Perhaps there are some skeptic-based forums out there that you could get your son into. I know Reddit has an anti-Amway subreddit.

Lastly, I work in the gambling industry. The lottery is only a get-rich-quick scheme for the company that sells it and the state that runs it. The lottery is a tax on people who can't do math.

 

[Shamar]

My son is a senior in college, and for the past three years, he has not held an actual part-time job except working occasionally for his dad, and a few hours with on online job. He joined Amway for a year, and after losing all his savings, he quit that.

Now he is looking into some online investment scheme. He is certain he will be rich in a few years, when all the money he does earn gets wasted. He lives at home, so the only expense he has is his car, which he saved money when he was young, and paid cash for it - but now he thinks he is above the average person, and does not want to work for any company.

Will he ever realize there is no get rich quick, except for the lottery??

Your aspie son wants to get rich quick. Don't we all? The difference is most of us recognize the realities. Try collecting last week's lottery tickets. They are much cheaper and the odds of winning are only 1 in 100,000,000 less. I used to go out panning for gold (still do on occasion). Sometimes I would find enough gold to pay for the gas it took to drive there.

When I was in charge of exploration crews, I would far too frequently be assigned someone for whom physical work was beneath their dignity. They said they worked with their heads. This does not mix well with hauling 30 pounds of equipment up and down mountains or across the desert all day. Most did not last too long. Your son needs to learn that trying to take the easy way out is often more work than work.

 

[BrokenBoy]

In general, being rich is decided by fate and luck. 99.9% of people don't have a sufficient amount of either.

 

[Crossbreed]

What is your son's major? Is there any way you can appeal to him through that?

 

[SusanLR]

I remember feeling the same when I was young.
People would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I always said: Rich!

But, we do have to face reality.
I lived at home until my parents died, but, it was no different from living on my own or
having a family when it came to chores and making my share of the finances.
I never got that "rich" that I always dreamt of.

He will need to somehow learn the truth is we can't all be Bill Gates or Steve Jobs.
Unless there is some disability that would make working impossible, somehow show him
the pitfalls of get rich quick schemes and the need for money is a fact of life.
Just accept it as common sense.

 

[Progster]

There is a saying in the UK "look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves". Which means that if you are careful with your spending, conscious of every penny/cent you spend, shop around, find the best deals, not make too many impulse purchases, etc, then you should not want financially. In theory at least, as life is not always so favourable.

I don't have a high income, and can't afford too many luxuries, but I work, live frugally, save what I don't need and am able to get by. And when I need something like a new phone or some more music, I have the money I need to buy it, and appreciate it fully, having worked and saved for it. The value of the object comes not through its $$ value, but through the work I put into it, the patience in saving and the sacrifices I made in living frugally. If I had easy money, it would help my financial security, I doubt I would get so much out of the things that I have.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Get rich quick usually ends up in getting poor quick.

Takes a certain person to save and invest for the long term.

There are lots of decent blogs out there following the FIRE philosophy (Financial independence retire early)

These would be perfect for your son, as it could inculcate lifelong habits of spending within your means,as well as gaining an interest in investments - which are less risky than the current ones he is into.

Compound interest - a favorite topic of these blogs shows that things are very much in his favor towards being rich.

If you start reading about the topic yourself and he picks up an interest - it could transform his life.

Getting rich is still the goal - but slowly and sustain-ably.

Why not look into it? It could transform your life first.

People learn best by observing then emulating and often not by what they are told.

 

[Shamar]

What is your son's major? Is there any way you can appeal to him through that?

I'm willing to bet his degree includes no useful skills, no practical knowledge, and no concentrated area of study that anyone would pay for. And he is confused over the fact that nobody wants to make him a corporate executive. This is not an autism thing. The world is full of NTs in the same situation with the same attitude.

I do have a plan I'm willing to share that will guarantee a person going to Las Vegas will leave with a small fortune. All you have to do is go to Las Vegas with a large fortune.

 

[Mary Terry]

Maybe get your son to read about Bernie Madoff, who is now appealing to President Trump to commute his 150 year sentence for defrauding investors with his pyramid scheme. I hope he rots in jail till he dies.