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Blogs

  1. Closing the curtains

    I've felt little when family or family friends have died, and this is probably why I've never been moved by any celebrity death. If anything, they irritate me when they occur, because the same stereotypical "thoughts and feelings" get pasted in the news and on social media etc. At times I feel a little defective for not empathising, but then I remind myself that I never met, or knew these people who have died - so why should I feel any pity for the death of a stranger? I often can't relate...
  2. Being on Both Sides - Enlightening

    Having an undiagnosed aspie husband, and being weird myself (aspie? adhd? or just plain lazy?), I'm kinda aware of how our way of life is kinda burdening the people around us, when other people of the same age contribute so much to the people around them and society. I do agree that many aspies tend to be 'immature' compared to other people of the same age, whatever the reason. I also know that aspies are trying their best to live without having meltdown, I feel like that too. But I do...
  3. Birthday wishes

    The office I worked at regularly posts the birthday wishes for the staffs in the chat group. But they always overlooked my birthday but not other people. I don't want to celebrate birthday except with my family - it's the same as any other day, except maybe we buy cake and pizzas (NTs in western lifestyle would roast me about not taking birthdays seriously) though. So it's fine if they don't wish me. But feel a bit sad when other got wishes except for me, especially people who has...
  4. I am the Music Man

    Whilst sorting through everything that needed to go into storage I found my old crate of CD's. Back in my first job, they had a large wardrobe full of promotional singles and albums which the music buyer department hadn't kept for themselves. Thousands and thousands of CD's which took me many a lunch break to sift through and collect. I was always surprised how few people would search through said CD's. Amongst the crate I found an old copied CD from a local Breakcore/Jungle artist....
  5. Staffing

    Being outside and exercising can help calm me down somewhat. It's no cure though - my mind is still racing the whole time I'm staffing. There'll often be times when thoughts appear that make me frustrated and angry. At times like that, I try and vent through one big throw of my staff. Up, up and away. Ed
  6. My turf

    Or lack thereof. I've made a patch for myself in the park from where I've been staffing on the same spot for over a year. Ed
  7. My turf

    Or lack thereof. I've made a patch for myself in the park from where I've been staffing on the same spot for over a year. Ed
  8. The Church & Mental Illness...

    These USA churches are good at dealing with mental illnesses (such as schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.), Vineyard, Assembly of God, Foursquare Church (Links above are locators.) They are present in other countries, as well. (Do not discontinue taking your medicine without your doctor's approval.) If these aren't in your country, look for a church that has a "healing" ministry.
  9. My plans

    I want to meet up with my autistic friend again and get involved with the autism organizations here. But i can't do it with my parents knowing. I guess i will have to do it without telling them or after they die. I hope my life would be a full and meaningful one if i do that. I don't know what other thing i can do if i can't do it. When i am dying i wish i could smile and feel like i am going home to a much better place. Where i can make the person i love happy and live with that feeling...
  10. AI-Generated commercials #2

    This product was made from 100% real weirdos and is also a complete and balanced breakfast.
  11. Learning some new stuff. Complicated stuff.

    Okay, so, in my thread over in the art section, I posted a topic about 3D fractal art, along with some images that I've created. It can be found here: My 3D fractal art That stuff is complicated. I mean, 3D rendering always is, right? But this is different from, say, making 3D objects in Blender or whatever. Very different. Fractals are very strange things. And 3D fractals are even stranger. But how in the world do you actually make images like those? Well, I figured I'd show a...
  12. Negative

    What i am about to say might be really mean and negative but i genuinely feel like this now so: I wish i never met either of you. I wish i never became friends with you, i wish you both stayed as colleagues. I never want to see either of you again. The fact that these people have all this luck in the world and me who have always devoted herself to her studies have little to no experience due to my issues with ocd, autism, anxiety and depression is really making me hate this world. I know...
  13. CAE

    I got the results of the English (CAE) exam I took in December. Later I'll have to study for the CPE, and it looks like I have lots to improve in regards to writing and speaking English.
  14. Bad day without reason

    Having a bad day where i feel worthless and tired. Not feeling much anything, it doesn't have any reason. It feels like coming home though,it even makes me nostalgic over my childhood. Makes me feel authentic. People who always talk about possibilities, relationships and stuff might as well live in another world. This world is one of limitations, Limited resources, Limited knowledge, Limited understanding and Limited empathy. If there is another world maybe we are channeling the love over...
  15. Incoherent Rambling 2

    I am so scared to drive alone without my parents. I don't know the roads well even the ones near my home. I somehow never noticed which road goes which direction. Honestly even neurotypical people have so much trouble navigating traffic here. It's horrible. Even when i work it seems i will have to use public transport. There are so many problems wth me working in general now it seems impossible. I am 30 and i have only 1 year of experience. I don't even know if i could have done better in...
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