Blogs

I had a good idea of what I wanted to write here, keyword "had". I suppose I'm dreading going back to school next week. That first day back is always horrifying, being bombarded with noise and smells and lights and people all at once. But at least I'll have a kind of structure in my life again! I feel kind of weird, because some days I feel "Wow, I really think I am autistic, I should really ask my mom/therapist about this", while others I feel totally "normal", as subjective as that may be....

It's been a long while since I was on here, mostly due to my horrible memory, getting more involved with school, and falling back into my default cycle of social media, games, repeat. However, I wanted to try and figure things out the way I do best: talking/typing to myself! I would like to ask my therapist about being autistic, seeing as I've created a Google Doc with various criterias and personal experiences, including multiple results from RDOS. I see him every 2 weeks, and after every...

Looking at the list of newest generators, this morning: wow. That's a lot by one person. I started at the top of the list and went down. The 'quality' of the scribble person's production really bottomed out at "It's not love"....not that the standard was high to begin with. Kid is tossing out words, on topics. That's the positive aspect. At least it's not cramming 8 unrelated lists together, putting "I was bored" or "I'm sorry" for a Descriptor and "[word deleted] me up" on the Button....

I've been freezing quite alot when there's too many people around me, i don't know why.. I don't know how. And i always have to fight myself to keep moving. My legs will sometimes freeze, my mind goes numb. Shopping is extremely difficult and i try and avoid the same people twice as i worry i'll annoy them. Which is painful for me when i really need food, or i need to go do something such as visit the post office to get a package. I sometimes outright refuse to go out as i worry that i have...

I again just really need to vent One thing i've always really wanted but never really had is a proper friend. It's such a simple thing but seems so out of reach for some reason, Over the years i've had what i thought were friends but honestly they treated me like garbage, They used to lie about going out just to keep me away and things when i was younger purely because i was a little too quiet for them and they wanted more louder friends. Eventually i removed them all and tried to make...

My IPad screen time was up 31% this week. Ideally, I’d like to be at less than 2-3 hours daily & one day off completely a week. It’s a work in progress.

Here is a running account of the process of posting a random generator idea that I have been working on. I don't trust doing all the work in the work area of the site, since the place has issues and frequently there are problems. I work on material in my mail drafts. That way it's saved. A couple years ago I had over 400 drafts. Currently I have 54. My goal for this year is to maintain no more than 50 at a time. ==== OK. I go to the draft on the subject matter I want to finish and post....

email to my friend: QUOTE It helps to be telling you what I am doing, because that way I am not just talking to myself. Although, pretty often I try to make sense for my *later self*/me who will read my own notes at another time, because I've figured out that it's ok to explain things to myself, as if I didn't know what was going on. Previously I had the silly idea that because I was me, I'd know what I was talking about, later. This I found to be incorrect. I have had to recount quilt...

Hello people! How yaw doing? I'm good. The family reunion went great. This week has been a whirlwind. Can't remember Monday, Tues. I had NAMI, last night I saw some friends, today I'm running errands, and tomorrow I got my nephew's birthday party-he turns 8. So I'm doing good. Trying to find work through supported employment. I haven't heard from my employment agency on that end yet. But still I remain hopeful. As I mentioned in the last entry my mom died about a month ago and some days are...

I'm sick of having all my hopes and ambitions dismissed, because nobody else wants to do that. I don't want to talk about memes all day everyday, i don't find that stuff funny all the damn time. I don't want to follow, i am sick of having peer pressure put on me. When now i just naturally resist it, i don't want to leave because everyone else wants to leave. I don't care if i look "Weird" i enjoy being the outsider now. I want to be an individual. Not some fool questioning my life everyday...

Hey People! I know it's been a long time since I blogged but a lot has been going on. Back in Dec, I broke up with my girlfriend because she wanted to date other people besides myself simultaneously and I'm not built 4 polyandry. Then on Feb 24 my mother passed away. So I have been grieveing both a lost relationship and my mother's death. About my gf: she took my virginity and that makes her have a special place in my heart. Don't get me wrong, her sexual shenanigans were hard to deal with...

Autistic children face a lot of misunderstanding. You can trust me on that because I've been in the same position as your promising boy or girl is now. Just like your kid, I have autism. Just like your kid, I had parents who really wanted to help me, but didn't exactly know how. Just like your kid, I hated bedtime, even though I don't think that had anything to do with my autism. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I know what works and what doesn't for autistic children. Of course, not...