Blogs

Now that I'm out of that shelter, I am scrambling like crazy to get my business back into full swing again, so I don't have to go back into ANOTHER shelter. I can't seem to be very productive in a herded community living environment. Right now, I am QUITE happy in a friendly, cheap hotel room run by some pleasant and hospitable Middle Eastern folks. I need to find a place to rent, though, because even though this is a cheap hotel... it's not less expensive than living in my apartment,...

Melissa Joan Hart told her 6-year-old son that only people who believe in Jesus are 'good' — and people are calling her out for 'casual anti-Semitism' We don't know if people who say they believe in Jesus are good people, either. Religion is not a get out of jail free card to the use of discernment. Fixed it. :blush:

What is potential if not reached? A constant nagging thought telling you you could have been better, should be better. When the will is not there to put the effort into life, whatever it may encompass, opportunities pass by leaving you thinking ‘What could be if I did the right thing?’I sit here, typing, thinking, instead of action. Letting the ones I love down with my stagnation, unwillingness to change, unwilling to do the things that are right, when in the past doing this has let me...

This is a very honest blog post so I’m just going to forewarn everyone that self-harm and suicidal thoughts are topics discussed in this entry. Today was horrible (gosh this is getting worse and worse every day hopefully tomorrow goes okay coz like this is getting very bad very quick) today was horrible for my mental health like I am really really struggling, and I can’t fix it when I am stuck in this campervan. This morning I woke up and instantly felt that sinking feeling when I realized...

This day was really rather hard both physically because mum made us walk up a billion hills and mentally because well that’s just not going well. The morning started with a walk up Baldwin Street the steepest street in New Zealand which took me all of 5 minutes and my family a lot more so as a stupid person does I did it twice so kill the time I was waiting for them to get back down. After that I was pretty tired but off we drove to tunnel beach which when we got there we discovered it was...

New year, same old news. New resolutions, same disappointments. These games are just not for me. I ust to qualify myself as boring in the eyes of the world, now I choose to call it simplicity. Inspiration ‘As long as you are truthful towards yourself, no one can move you, but the moment you are not truthful towards yourself, then you are lost. Very often we create a certain reality. We pretend to be somebody. We pretend to do certain things. There is nothing real about that. And this is...

Well a smart person would have written this last night but I didn’t so it might be a little weird and I’m probably going to miss a lot of things but it might make for a shorter post so that will probably suit you guys better. Yesterday we got on the road early and went off to Larnach Castle, so we could take advantage of the early bird special which ended up working very well because there was only a few other families in the castle when we got there and by the time we were ready to start...

After a 5 hour community meeting where the main focus was the New year goals I confess I am quite overwelmed and frustrated. I don't seem to have the ability to do this kind of planing. My only and all around goal is to be left alone in my comfortable safe zone. But that is something that it will just not happen... Inspiration: ‘Every day, you have to observe yourself; observe your good qualities and your not-so-good qualities. When you learn to observe, you will also learn to overcome,...

Well apart from this morning when the carer didn't turn up till gone 11 because they were under the mistaken impression that Mum had cancelled, wrong! She would've told me, anyway they gave me a shave when they finally turned up, even though it was nearly lunch time and too late to have a bath which is the whole reason they come in the flippin' first place. Moving on before I start on a long angst filled rant, this afternoon we went on Hillsborough to the Post Office to send off that camera...

Today While wondering and making notes of the things I might like to share, I guess it was a realization, I realized that the best parts and the funnies parts are funny in the moment and not after and well I always forget to share them. Today started early again at 6.15 when dad shook the camper van as he climbed out of bed (nothing against him you can’t even roll over without moving the thing in fact I think my tying is making it wiggle) from that point I got up and showered in what I must...

Today went a lot better. Still hard but doing a lot better just adjusting to being okay with doing this but I still want to go home a lot but I think it’s actually going to be okay. My day again started early but not 4am early more 6am early because the light shone through my curtains but I decided to get up and have a shower which was a great plan because I had the whole bathrooms to myself for my whole shower. We got on the road at about 9.30am and headed out of Christchurch southwards....

Today was hard, my day started at 4am for no other reason than I was anxious and well it didn’t get much better from here. At abut 10am my Aunt came and took us all to the airport in the car ride there I almost cried (1) so that was fun, we got to the airport and checked in out bags that was all fine and dandy. We sat and chatted for a bit and I showed my younger cousin the plane she was pretty excited a while later they left and when my cousin gave me a hug I almost cried again (2). I was...

Shelter drama is a special type of drama. Think about ego issues combined with paranoia combined with a healthy dose of narcissism and a complete and utter lack of manners... along with a loud voice. That's a lot of shelter women. Many of them are abusers themselves, that left just to keep from going to jail. Others are drug addicts looking for a place to lay their head and get lots of freebies so they can spend any money they get on drugs. The vast majority of them are "easy" women that...

1) exercise 2) quilt 3) iPad drawing 4) read book 5) self-hypnosis In order of importance. I’ve already finished a couple of small quilts, learning as I go. Discovered best time for exercise without the parents barging in on me. And I’ve read 156 pages of a book so far this December, reading more book pages than the four or so preceding months combined. I like to listen to a video on YouTube as I’m reading or working that’s an instrumental specifically for reading & concentration.

In keeping with the December theme, I figured I'd go with a rhyming title ;) Time for another update! Since my last update, my recovery from depression was going rather well. I wasn't depressed anymore, feeling better and less bleak, although I still didn't really feel like myself yet. And because life is full of little surprises, a month ago I experienced a brief psychotic break out of the blue. It was frightening, because I was very much aware that something was wrong with me, and I wanted...