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Blogs

  1. A Confusing Development

    For some reason, it's only just occurred to me to look up social anxiety. After hearing about the comparisons, the minimization, all of that, I actually looked up what it was. The scary and comforting thing is, is that I relate to that a lot. Who knew there was an actual name for the fear I feel when presented with social situations? But on top of that, I'm afraid of what that says about me. I've been thinking that autism was the one thing that could explain why I felt different and pushed...
  2. Depression and acceptance

    Hello blog, it's been a while. Last time I posted an update I had just gone through a mini-psychotic break and I had just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Today I will be ranting a little, rather than posting clever and/or insightful and/or funny things. No grand things have happened to me in the meantime, but sometimes small things are important too. I'm slowly returning to work, with ample time off to work on my mental health. My boss is nice like that, for which I am grateful. I've...
  3. Above 4 Hours Daily Again

    Not shocked. Limiting screen time isn’t the priority project right now though. Once limiting screen time is the priority project again, I may find limiting screen time less challenging. Not sure when that will be, but I will try harder to limit my screen time in the meantime, By engaging in other pastimes.
  4. A Good Time, but at What Cost??

    Cool news, I saw a musical last night! I'd been following it for a bit, and I finally got to see it on Broadway!! I had a really great time, especially clapping and stimming in between songs! It was a bit loud though, and that contributed to the problem later. See, we got home around 3 AM, and I went immediately to sleep. But now, I'm very drained. Emotionally, physically, mentally. I planned on doing some school work later today, but I don't know if I'll be able to get rid of the numb-like...
  5. Just a Little Curious!

    I've decided that I'll ask the school's therapist about ASD and such. But I had a question. Has anyone else ever experienced a thing where if something feels wrong, like dirty or unright, they shudder and have to let go if it immediately? I've experienced this while in Piano class, touching the piano used by other students, and other small items. They don't usually have a particular pattern. I'm sure this isn't an OCD thing, or anything else, but I was wondering if any else knew what I was...
  6. Kitten's Birthday

    My kitten is turning one year old tomorrow! Time passes quickly, it doesnt feel like it was almost a year ago when she was a few weeks old.
  7. 2 Hours 28 Minutes Daily

    iPad time down 45% from last week. The weather’s been helping. Among other things like working on important papers, yard work, books, sewing, et cetera.
  8. Confused and Kind of Upset?

    I don't believe my current therapist is working out for me. I'm supposed to trust him, but I don't. I haven't trusted the previous one either. My only question is, how long will it take, and what will it take for me to trust them? Trust seems to be an issue with me, even with ordinary stuff like what music I listen to. There doesn't seem to be any other therapists close enough to drive biweekly to, and that doesn't even cover the cost of the actual session. But, back to trust though. Do...
  9. Agh...

    So, I went to the dentist today after a while. Being in the chair reminded me of an earlier time I went, when I was about 6 or 7, I believe. When the dentist was taking X-Rays, the bite-down bit hurt so much I cried, and wouldn't let them put it back in. It still hurts! And, come to find out, I have cavities? 3 of them, apparently. I'll try to floss more. And, my head hurts a lot. I don't know if it was because of the light, the pain, or something else, but I'm not feeling good at all....
  10. Was i wrong in my last relationship?

    Something that is commonly on my mind, thought i'd share and get some thoughts Back when i was around 18 i got into a relationship with a girl online and originally told her i'd never be able to meet her due to my issues and explained things about me and my problems and she was okay with it, However over time i did manage to meet her and push past because it was a real relationship and i wanted it to be serious we dated for about 4 years mostly online with the occasional meetups, However on...
  11. Above 4 Hours Daily Again

    Limiting screen time isn’t the priority project right now. All available effort is currently focused on a more critical goal. I want to work on limiting screen time in the future though. Limiting screen time makes a noticeable difference when I’m able.
  12. A really good few days

    Finally a blog i can write with a happy face! The past few days i've been trying to stop dragging myself down and just beam with positivity and it seems to be working so far, Things have been going really well, Even if it doesn't last due to depression being very random i'm trying to make the most of it, I do livestreaming on twitch occasionally and it's took me many many years to get to a point where i can openly talk on it to a point where people don't seem to notice my social problems as...
  13. An Update!

    Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for your kind messages, they made me feel better! And about the school psychologists, I found something out the other day. While they're called psychologists and have the degrees to have that title, the role they play in school is a guidance counselor for kids with IEP's. I've decided to ask my therapist about it the next time I see him, granted he doesn't ask me anything that takes me off topic. I've also put more thought into whether or not I should ask...
  14. A Bit Confused

    So I went down to the Guidance Office in school to ask about the school's psychologists. As I thought, you generally need an IEP to really work with one, unless I had a specific person I wanted to talk to. This just made me think, why would I really want to see them? I think I want to because I'm running out of adults to trust, and depending on how it goes, I could bring up autism. I'd really like to because I feel bad that I'm questioning so much without "doing anything" about it. Ah,...
  15. Comfort Eating

    I feel the need to keep venting some typical daily things i'm struggling with lately so hope nobody minds! This one is a fairly common issue that i always sort of presumed would never happen to me but has.. So i have the whole aspie texture food thing(it's complicated to explain), When i was younger i originally would only ever eat one bowl of cereal and NOTHING else at all, had therapy for it and such for years, Luckily as i got older my taste buds changed or something and i tried new...
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