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Blogs

  1. Learning some new stuff. Complicated stuff.

    Okay, so, in my thread over in the art section, I posted a topic about 3D fractal art, along with some images that I've created. It can be found here: My 3D fractal art That stuff is complicated. I mean, 3D rendering always is, right? But this is different from, say, making 3D objects in Blender or whatever. Very different. Fractals are very strange things. And 3D fractals are even stranger. But how in the world do you actually make images like those? Well, I figured I'd show a...
  2. Negative

    What i am about to say might be really mean and negative but i genuinely feel like this now so: I wish i never met either of you. I wish i never became friends with you, i wish you both stayed as colleagues. I never want to see either of you again. The fact that these people have all this luck in the world and me who have always devoted herself to her studies have little to no experience due to my issues with ocd, autism, anxiety and depression is really making me hate this world. I know...
  3. CAE

    I got the results of the English (CAE) exam I took in December. Later I'll have to study for the CPE, and it looks like I have lots to improve in regards to writing and speaking English.
  4. Bad day without reason

    Having a bad day where i feel worthless and tired. Not feeling much anything, it doesn't have any reason. It feels like coming home though,it even makes me nostalgic over my childhood. Makes me feel authentic. People who always talk about possibilities, relationships and stuff might as well live in another world. This world is one of limitations, Limited resources, Limited knowledge, Limited understanding and Limited empathy. If there is another world maybe we are channeling the love over...
  5. Incoherent Rambling 2

    I am so scared to drive alone without my parents. I don't know the roads well even the ones near my home. I somehow never noticed which road goes which direction. Honestly even neurotypical people have so much trouble navigating traffic here. It's horrible. Even when i work it seems i will have to use public transport. There are so many problems wth me working in general now it seems impossible. I am 30 and i have only 1 year of experience. I don't even know if i could have done better in...
  6. Do Catholics "worship" Mary?: An Ancient Perspective

    A common objection or charge by Protestants and other Christian groups against the Catholic Church, (and Orthodox Churches as well) is that the Veneration of Our Lady and the other Saints is tantamount to "worship." These past several months I have looked into ancient paganism and how the pre-Christian pagans viewed things, (as well as how different their views are from both renaissance, and modern misunderstandings of pre-Christian pagans) and it has revealed to me a new insight and...
  7. Keeping people in your life

    Hey all! Been a little bit since i wrote a post but wanted to vent once again and get some feedback! (This mostly applies to online relationships) So i've always had trouble keeping people around, And i mean in a sense of i'm the one that one day gets upset over something and deletes the person or backs away, An example of this would be when i got into a relationship recently and it didn't work out, I tried reaching out to a few friends but were met with a less sympathetic response and...
  8. Bob's Perfect Sporks (AI creation #1)

    An outline of a commercial for the only product you'll ever need.
  9. Reassessing the Paradigms

    I have recently read a number of opinions and articles regarding certain - sometimes controversial - behavioural therapies and feel a need to attempt to express my own opinion regarding acceptable interventions in regards to children possessing neurodiverse natures. I think that there is a need for the world to become more mindfully aware of the diverse qualities inherent within humankind and am opposed to any individual having to be moulded in order to conform to typical societal and...
  10. Board game stuffs #2 (part 2 of 2): and over and over and over.

    I swear this dumb thing doesnt work right. But anyway, the conclusion to the Dark Souls entry.
  11. Board game stuffs #2 (part 1 of 2): Prepare to die over and over

    Wherein I showcase an example of a game that wants you to lose a lot. I mean, duh, it's Dark Souls.
  12. Negative

    It feels like my parents pity me for having faith in our legal system and generally being a naive and dumb person easily gullible. I guess from their perspective i am dumb. Good thing i don't see the world from their eyes. Otherwise i would have committed suicide already. Even if i am not able to work and be a lawyer i have to live my life believing in certain ideals. I have to live believing there is a value to being positive and trying hard to make a change. It is all i can do. If they...
  13. Positive rambling

    I never thought i could become the person i want to be, but here i am liking and appreciating myself. When i was a child i felt like i was a plant in a desert trying to survive, needing rain but never getting it. I felt helpless and trapped. I felt like i knew all about the world already, and that i was a person dirty inside and out, a bad mannered, naturally evil person. I hated myself and felt disgusted by myself, but i received things i never dared to hope for. I was protected from so...
  14. Been Learning A Lot. Part 1.

    So. I've been offline for a while since getting a new job, and I've learned many things not just about work, but also socialising. There's this awesome dynamic that I've picked up on that I didn't always have. I saw other people use it and they looked like they were enjoying themselves by utilizing it. In a way, I wasn't fully aware of. I knew something was missing, like some kind of key element (which I've mentioned before). I just had to identify it. And I think I found it. Now this is...
  15. Finally back, and more board games

    Wow, yeah... it's been a LONG time since I last did one of these, yeah? Blame Covid for this. The last one I did was in December, but... my anxiety over the virus started in January, as early January was when I first heard of the blasted thing. Thanks to that, I havent felt like doing anything like this since. But lately, well, 2020 is over with, and I've had some nice mood boosts since, so... let's go for it! Going to talk about some more board game stuff here, to spread the word about...
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