Blogs

I just need to write. I've felt pretty up and down this week. Extreme extremes, as well as moments of extreme wellbeing, moments of extreme ailienation and frustration, moments of extreme anxiety and terrible grief, and increased connectedness and comfort. Oh well, I guess it's good in that, my life is never boring. I am coming to terms with a total reinvention of myself, well, not total, I'm still a mum of 7 people, but only one left at home with me, I still have the same values and I'm me....

Spiritual teachers say that happiness is in our hands; I think blaming others or the devil for our misery are just excuses to make ourselves feel better. In the past and until very recently I would see fault in others, I would very easily see their mistakes and a million different ways of how they were hurting me. But something changed: I don't like to play the victim role anymore and I don't like to let others take control of my life, so I take full responsibility for whatever happens with...

The above topic in my title has been literally driving me bonkers lately. I cannot stand being able to see the duality of the universe, and I equally can't stand seeing how the concrete thinking of humans tends to be their greatest downfall. It is also in our nature to demand answers, and it does take a fair amount of willpower to make yourself okay with the unknown. However, I also do not understand those who will take the unknown and determine something is a fact simply for the sake of...

I want to arrange my sleeping area to better accommodate dream work. I want my dream diary & writing utensil within arm’s reach & ready to go. I lost this morning’s dream due to unforeseen circumstances & general disorganization. My family will be out of the house on Saturday & I clean best when they’re not around. Saturday will be a good time to rearrange my sleeping area for dream work & reading before sleep.

1) life drawing 2) Etsy 3) read book 4) mindfulness meditation self-hypnosis 5) clean In order of most challenging to least challenging. March 2019 is the month I start to try Etsy. I bought a reference book to help me. My other goals are a continuation of what I’ve already been doing. I want to read more book pages in March 2019 too. I have time before bed, I just need to rearrange the space I’m using to accommodate reading. I feel good about myself that I’m putting in an effort to...

Pondering Shutdowns

I feel so frustrated when I read the posts and see how people are suffering so much and I can't do anything to help! I want to reply something smart and knowledgeable but at the same time what's the use? Everyone says more or less the same...what more can I add to that? When medicine doesn't help, Psichology doesn't help, the Love of the loved ones doesn't help, what to do? I turn to God. I wish everyone could turn to Him for comfort, I wish everyone could Love Him the way I know He loves...

In my 3rd Entry I will be talking about Keyboard Sizes. In the 2nd Entry you may have seen some strange looking keyboards without the Numberpad Section, and one in the attached video's thumbnail without the Arrow keys even, along with the just as strange Cable that goes in 2 Directions. If you had any questions about what those were and why they're a thing, your Answers will be found here! As I've said before, Keyboards come in different sizes for niche needs. Some people like smaller...

So, i got my license a couple years ago. The theory tests were easy, most theory is. Depending, on a person's level of understanding, but anyway. That's beside the point. When i did my test, it took me till the fifth attempt to be able to get it. I was always jealous of people who could pass on the first or second go. As that is an amazing feat to have. But, i still have difficulty with driving, i hate it when the car is not lined up near a curb, i don't like it when i don't park exactly how...

Love and Acceptance is something i cherish. Always. Now it's a different story. I've had two relationships in my life, one of them being rather intense while the other was more different. My first relationship, i met her online.. Things were going well, and we were both hooked on each other, the second was a different story, i knew her from highschool and my childhood. But, each time i felt like something was wrong. I told them about my "Asperger's" most response's were fine, but slowly...

So today, I'm going to talk about birth. Mine and in comparison, my seven children's. Mine wasn't a "good" birth, as birthing experiences go, according to my mother. Although, it was good enough, in that I'm alive, and relatively unscathed. I'm pretty sure my mum had and still has, something like borderline personality disorder, or complex trauma PTSD or even a mild form of histrionic or narcissistic personality disorder, or narcissistic "wounding". One mental health professional that both...

Not sure what to write. It's very hot here, today, I feel like I'm melting, and there is a fire burning out of control in a town not far from here. I live in the north east, very easterly part of this giant, arid, sparsely populated, country. I was born in the south. In Melbourne. My parents were uni students but I put a stop to that, for my mum, at least. My dad took up taxi driving, which I think, would have been excruciating for him, as he's one of those extremely socially awkward...

I've been given some chances to attend some group meeting things in my town and i'm honestly really tempted to go because i am extremely desperate to socialise but at the same time i'm too afraid to go. These two constant feeling battling each other everyday are tearing me apart, I hate being lonely and i do want to meet people but i also really struggle with people generally, I would love to make friends online but that hasn't gone so well at all so i'm forced to try and make some in person...

In this Entry, I will doing a 3 for 1 by talking about the various Mechanical Switches one can find in Mechanical Keyboards, generally pre-built ones, along with the Customization options and how one can Create their own Keyboard. Mechanical Switches As apart of my first Entry, I briefly talked about the 3 "keyfeels" of Mechanical Switches and had some examples, along with a couple videos to explain in more detail. Before I get more into this, I will say that many people on...

Don't know what is happening but it feels good and I hope it lasts more than a couple of days. I believe this process of knowing about Autism brought light to my life. I feel I am regaining my self-confidence and self-estime; I understand better my behaviours and thoughts and embrace them as part of who I am instead of rejecting them as an anomaly. Where before I saw limitation and error now I see possibilities if I just allow myself to be how I am! This I believe is opening the door to...