Blogs

I’m exhausted. I’m drained all the time. I’m really struggling to hold it together. The evenings are the hardest times for me. I can’t run away any longer, so I’m stuck wide awake with only myself for company. I don’t know how to cope with this. I’m so tense, and my fear of relaxing coupled with the possibility I could relax so much that I lose control makes me rigid with panic and stress. Nighttime is scary. I’m not functioning well after dark. I don’t know how to keep going. I’m triggered...

Random order. - bad nutrition - negative thinking - lack of verbal communication (social isolation) - not being physuically active (lifestyle, office work) - not being mentally active (routine work) - being smarter than average and seeing how bad our society is organized. - being unable to fufill basic human needs (instincts) - stress others puts on me - childhood traumas and wrong education (slave training) Now this runs in a circle, one contributes to another they shift places from day...

Understanding the similarities and differences between autistic shutdowns and CFS/ME crashes.

My day started slowly. I couldn't get out of bed until 9 a.m., until I got a call from my mom and dad who are on holiday in Asia. It cheered me up to see them. I was watching some DIY decor and DIY thrift store clothing upgrade videos on YouTube by the channel TheSorryGirls (I very much recommend!) and it gave me motivation to go to the thrift store myself. My to do list was as follows: get ready quickly (even though I felt like spending a lot of time putting on make-up and choosing...

I started an external version of this blog, Autlanders: Thriving Outside of the Box, in an effort to reach a larger audience.

So yesterday I got really sad because I thought about what it was like to be that odd one out. You know where you are in a group of people supposedly friends , but the only reason you got invited up to the bbq or party was because you happened to be around the people at the time . That constant feel of wanting to fit in, having to text people to hang out so that you feel like you belong, but don’t....so disappearing for a couple week in to the safety of your bedroom seems like the best...

This is based purely on how cute these animals are and my general personal opinion on them. My top five favorite animals: 1. Dogs/wolves 2. Possum (plus any variant of Possum) If you don't believe they're cute, watch this video: 3. Cats 4. Foxes 5. Squirells.

I really hate Kirin.

I haven't been on the forum in a month, wow! Pride month wasn't as fulfilling as I thought it would, because some plans to do pride related things like parades fell through. School is out, too. I don't know what to do with all this time I have. Needless to say, my sleep schedule has gotten very wonky, with me getting an average of 6 hours a night, as opposed to my "school night" average of 9. Also, I haven't been to therapy for about a month now. First we couldn't afford it because it didn't...

I believe it’s a positive thing. Crying excretes stress hormones & releases endorphins. Luckily I was alone & didn’t have to deal with anyone. Just make sure to stay hydrated.

I hate to write. I used to want to be a writer in highschool but I found it impossible to try to get my messages across and I gave up and swore off writing. Every time I read something I’ve written I cringe very hard. I hate the way I write. But I think that’s why I ought to do this. I’m not going to try to sound smart. I’m just going to talk. Hope y’all don’t mind. My interests revolve around nature - animals, rocks, and plants. Very interested in all three. I may or may not talk about...

—————— I love cooking, it has always been a passion, not just for myself, but the joy that it can bring to others. Here are the first 3 videos, please subscribe for more content.

Since running across the article which sparked my whole light bulb moment re: Aspergers/ASD1 in mid-April, I've been discovering so much about myself. It is like when I got my first pair of glasses in elementary school and discovered that there were power lines strung between the hydro poles outside my optometrist's office. All those things about myself that were blurred and felt wrong when I compared them to how other people seemed to live their lives suddenly came into focus. I look at...

I'm having a particularly difficult day today. I'm sorry I keep coming and going from these forums... I just have been going through these phases lately where I'm not social at all, anywhere, don't even crack open my laptop. And then sometimes I hyperfocus on a particular group or something. Whatever... I feel like I'm such a giant mess. I don't feel like I'm recovering in any kind of way. I know I am, but the progress is so slow, it's barely noticeable. I'm still not working, not going to...

I now have a standing commitment that requires me to leave the house biweekly & drive a two lane country highway to a 2nd location. It has to do with one of my interests, but it’s a challenge for me. With time it may become like second nature. This is my short term goal. My long term goal is creating multiple streams of income.