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  1. Well, it's been a while!

    I haven't been on the forum in a month, wow! Pride month wasn't as fulfilling as I thought it would, because some plans to do pride related things like parades fell through. School is out, too. I don't know what to do with all this time I have. Needless to say, my sleep schedule has gotten very wonky, with me getting an average of 6 hours a night, as opposed to my "school night" average of 9. Also, I haven't been to therapy for about a month now. First we couldn't afford it because it didn't...
  2. I cried today.

    I believe it’s a positive thing. Crying excretes stress hormones & releases endorphins. Luckily I was alone & didn’t have to deal with anyone. Just make sure to stay hydrated.
  3. Keep scrolling, nothing special

    I hate to write. I used to want to be a writer in highschool but I found it impossible to try to get my messages across and I gave up and swore off writing. Every time I read something I’ve written I cringe very hard. I hate the way I write. But I think that’s why I ought to do this. I’m not going to try to sound smart. I’m just going to talk. Hope y’all don’t mind. My interests revolve around nature - animals, rocks, and plants. Very interested in all three. I may or may not talk about...
  4. First 3 blogs, thanks for watching please subscribe.

    —————— I love cooking, it has always been a passion, not just for myself, but the joy that it can bring to others. Here are the first 3 videos, please subscribe for more content.
  5. Getting to know me

    Since running across the article which sparked my whole light bulb moment re: Aspergers/ASD1 in mid-April, I've been discovering so much about myself. It is like when I got my first pair of glasses in elementary school and discovered that there were power lines strung between the hydro poles outside my optometrist's office. All those things about myself that were blurred and felt wrong when I compared them to how other people seemed to live their lives suddenly came into focus. I look at...
  6. Can't human today

    I'm having a particularly difficult day today. I'm sorry I keep coming and going from these forums... I just have been going through these phases lately where I'm not social at all, anywhere, don't even crack open my laptop. And then sometimes I hyperfocus on a particular group or something. Whatever... I feel like I'm such a giant mess. I don't feel like I'm recovering in any kind of way. I know I am, but the progress is so slow, it's barely noticeable. I'm still not working, not going to...
  7. Leaving The House

    I now have a standing commitment that requires me to leave the house biweekly & drive a two lane country highway to a 2nd location. It has to do with one of my interests, but it’s a challenge for me. With time it may become like second nature. This is my short term goal. My long term goal is creating multiple streams of income.
  8. Stopping meds due to side effects, living with effects of long term meds

    I have been off medications since February this year. I was prescribed Seroquel for a BPD dx and Topamax for seizures (I've been misdxed as BPD) I was on Seroquel for around 5 years and it was not helping anymore. I wanted to come off of it for a long time. I have been taking Topamax for over 15 years. I started looking into the side effect of Topamax when I found out the side effects of Seroquel. I was floored and so mad that no one told me about the side effects of either med. A lot of...
  9. Adopted father has cancer, I'm not sad but feel guilty

    [Already posted in Forums] I found out that my adopted father has lymphoma and I don't feel sad. I was abused and have stopped talking to most of the adopted family. I didn't feel happy finding out but I wasn't sad either. I don't know if this is because of autism or trauma. I do feel anxiety and guilt because I'm not sad and I'm worried I'll have a huge meltdown when he passes. I am going to see him next week, I haven't seen him in years. I'm afraid of the emotions hitting me when I need...
  10. A Confusing Development

    For some reason, it's only just occurred to me to look up social anxiety. After hearing about the comparisons, the minimization, all of that, I actually looked up what it was. The scary and comforting thing is, is that I relate to that a lot. Who knew there was an actual name for the fear I feel when presented with social situations? But on top of that, I'm afraid of what that says about me. I've been thinking that autism was the one thing that could explain why I felt different and pushed...
  11. Depression and acceptance

    Hello blog, it's been a while. Last time I posted an update I had just gone through a mini-psychotic break and I had just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Today I will be ranting a little, rather than posting clever and/or insightful and/or funny things. No grand things have happened to me in the meantime, but sometimes small things are important too. I'm slowly returning to work, with ample time off to work on my mental health. My boss is nice like that, for which I am grateful. I've...
  12. Above 4 Hours Daily Again

    Not shocked. Limiting screen time isn’t the priority project right now though. Once limiting screen time is the priority project again, I may find limiting screen time less challenging. Not sure when that will be, but I will try harder to limit my screen time in the meantime, By engaging in other pastimes.
  13. A Good Time, but at What Cost??

    Cool news, I saw a musical last night! I'd been following it for a bit, and I finally got to see it on Broadway!! I had a really great time, especially clapping and stimming in between songs! It was a bit loud though, and that contributed to the problem later. See, we got home around 3 AM, and I went immediately to sleep. But now, I'm very drained. Emotionally, physically, mentally. I planned on doing some school work later today, but I don't know if I'll be able to get rid of the numb-like...
  14. Just a Little Curious!

    I've decided that I'll ask the school's therapist about ASD and such. But I had a question. Has anyone else ever experienced a thing where if something feels wrong, like dirty or unright, they shudder and have to let go if it immediately? I've experienced this while in Piano class, touching the piano used by other students, and other small items. They don't usually have a particular pattern. I'm sure this isn't an OCD thing, or anything else, but I was wondering if any else knew what I was...
  15. Kitten's Birthday

    My kitten is turning one year old tomorrow! Time passes quickly, it doesnt feel like it was almost a year ago when she was a few weeks old.