1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Blogs

  1. Day 10: today is better

    I feel better today. I have this weird spiraling pattern. once my work weekend comes (mon and tues), and i have time to be alone, i feel much better. but today i have to go to work again. i went to visit my old location. i dont like visiting them. i feel like i dont belong. i feel like some people there who greet me are being sideways, meaning they act friendly, but they are the reason i am in my situation. so i hate talking to them. One said to me my work is getting better. I feel these...
  2. Rambling

    I only fell in love once, and i wish to be in love with him forever. I feel like my soul was saved by loving him. That i was given so much happiness i would be able to go on living no matter how many bad things happen. Sometimes i watch a drama that reminds me of this love and i cry for a long time. The time i spent with him were the best days of my life.
  3. Day 9: Some spiraling

    Recently i have told a couple people i am depressed, and they were very shocked. this confuses me. i dont feel that i have been an outwardly "happy" person, especially because people accuse me from looking sad to looking like i shoot dope up my arm. Anyways I woke up crying. I am worried I am not strong enough for this life. I am realizing all the effort I put in educating myself, learnign new skills, exposing myself to new subjects of interest for the same of appearing more valuable as a...
  4. Twitch streaming

    For those unfamiliar, Twitch streaming is basically going live and playing games in which people can come and watch you and type to you as you play, whilst you talk to them through a mic. I've been doing twitch streaming on/off for many years, it's one of my main hobbies, A lot of people do it for money but i actually do it just for daily social needs and fun, I mean sitting and playing games and getting to talk to other gamers as you do it? win win! It's always been something that helps me...
  5. Day 8: Am I a Villain

    I feel this way. I feel like i am constantly fighting this urge to not be evil. My urges are more along the lines of taking advantage of weaker people, or wanting to project constantly because i am anxious and depressed. I think about how I used to view people with autism. Even back then, I thought even deeper, "what if i hate these people because i relate to them?" (little did i know i was just hating myself). I still have this feeling that this is why i am evil (my autism). I think an...
  6. In just 12 months.

    Just over 12 months ago I was in awe of an ultrasound image of a developing 12 week old human brain in utero. Today I get to witness that brain operating and problem solving. There's a body and face attached, obviously :) I'd begun to suspect this 12 month old had an eidetic memory, but further reading would suggest he retains detailed information for longer than (I) expected. For example, one of his slippers came off while playing on his wooden rocking horse. He glanced at his bare foot...
  7. Day 7: I went to the gym

    I havent gone to the gym since before lockdown. I decided to go back because i notice i am getting too skinny. i dont like to talk about that because people wrinkle their nose on it, like its not a problem. Recently i've been feeling confused. in my journey of solitude, I am worried that I am still depressed. I am worried I am moving on from crying to numbness. I am worried about projection or sublimination. I feel like everyone is against me. or that i'm always having to prove myself,...
  8. and so it begins...

    i knew i had some issues, a general lack of social skills. people just drain me. it didn't occur to me that i might be autistic, but i hadn't given it much thought until recently. since it was mentioned to me i have read about it a lot, and i imagine it's asperger 's or high-functioning autism that i will be looking at. i don't know which one is me. i'm not sure what age i started speaking. i have no desire to talk to my mum and my dad is in australia. am i clumsy? do i have many interests?...
  9. Preparing for another onslaught of stressors

    Do you think there will ever come a time when we can all just take it easy and enjoy life for more than a day? Not me, with all the thoughts that go on in my supercharged v8 engine I call a brain lately. I've taken a 3-day break from my assignments to give me time to recover and not break down crying from working myself too hard again. Today even with no one to talk to I worked from about 6:45 to almost 10 on assignments to make up for the time I lost. Some days I feel so darn lonely, I wish...
  10. Day 6: Today was harder

    I didnt get good sleep. I have racing thoughts and i'm always wondering if its time to wake up at around 7 am. my pets were being rambunctious today however. i felt very frustrated today. small things were not going my way. im not sure it is because i'm depressed, or i had a melt down, but i broke down in tears. I was worried i would have to smoke to escape, but did yoga, and i am happy i didnt have to. i am happy i didnt quit in the middle or after 10 minutes either. im kinda sad...
  11. Day 5: I was wondering where this post went

    I got frustrated that i lost my entry and didnt make anew one. but here it is: I did not sleep good. One thing that makes me more depressed than my personal life woes is my job woes. i feel super underappreciated, but what's worse is that, i feel that its justified. I have been in my industry for 7 years, practicing for 6, and people still undermine me. i think, how am i supposed to feel worth something, if everyone around me is saying i am trash? i think about this in regards to the males...
  12. A well-awaited end to a rougher than normal week

    It's been one of those weeks where I feel just drained physically and emotionally. I've been doing nothing but screwing up academically and socially apparently and I just feel isolated from the rest of the world. I've been listening to music to escape those dark thoughts, I'm not talking about end it all, by the way, it's just me, myself, and my agonizing struggle through life with no one to vent to. I work myself to the point my fingers hurt and fatigue is starting, for what? Just to do...
  13. Do you feel more with autism?

    Unsure if i should have make this an actual forum post or not but thought i'd share my own experiences and see if anyone can relate in the comments here Do people with Autism feel emotions more? I've been officially diagnosed with autism but i still don't really know what comes with it fully, But i have had these massive emotion issues my whole life, When i get angry, I get abnormally angry, I snap way easily than i should, But the same goes for every other emotion too, I love way more...
  14. Day 4: I been sleeping more

    i think one of my problems in the past was me not sleepin enough. I have been working hard to fix that. i have put my screens on all yellow light before going to bed, reading before going to bed. i think this is helping my mood a lot. i cant stay up because my cat always wakes me up at 7am. the only thing i wish i could do is block the window so no light comes in. yesterday i also didnt need to smoke to go to sleep. that was good. i had a dream that i was a werewolf and i intimiated a...
  15. Day 3: Things kinda feel different

    I am thankful that this week is less stressful. for a few months, i've been in this depressive episode. i think i am still there but i feel i am near a silver lining. Right now I feel positive about myself in that I am beginning to believe i am worth something. the problem i really do have is that i am afraid i dont really believe that. I write that because I am back with my bf, and I am sure that has something to do with my self-worth. I don't like that. My ex now bf basically admitted to...
Loading...