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Blogs

  1. Mysterium Trifecta Ordinalis

    Mind body and spirit. Earth Wind & Fire. Mundus, Aetherius, and Celestus In a balanced system or a person the three circles appear similar congruent and equidistant forming what appears to be a flower at the center of the design.
  2. Grand Universal Theorem

    Shown here are two of the larger circular panes of glass, with original artwork between the two panes. These ideas that the artwork represents are related to each other. The Tzolkin of the Maya was originally published by jose arguelles, in his ground breaking and controversial work called the Mayan Factor. This rendition is a hand-drawn copy of the work published in his book. At the center is a circle with lines that go through it that extend both Parkway to the perimeter of the circle...
  3. Lesson from a cancer patient (Me):

    You can't be a sissy punk about life and health. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die. Hold those loved ones close. If you're scared of them dying, hold them even closer. I'd rather die a happy, glorious death from being close to loved ones, than all alone and isolated, die in fear.
  4. Portable Washing Machines

    If you live in an apartment that doesn't have a washer/dryer inside, I'm going to show you what I use. I really like it. It's the Kuppet portable washing machine. It came from Amazon. It's under 200 dollars, and you hook it up to your kitchen sink. It's very large. Only a few inches shorter than a kitchen counter, and its large capacity fits about 1/2 of a normal load in it to wash. It's so light (maybe 30 pounds) that you can store it somewhere during the week, and then drag it out on wash...
  5. About today's Mandalorian episode

    If you've already seen the finale of season 2, click on the spoiler.
  6. Taking a break

    Hello to you all, i wanted to inform that i'm taking a break from the forum, it has been a pleasure to get to know you all and i'd like to thank all those that have helped me discover so much about how my autism presents and helpful links to discover so much more about this 'way of being', a lead factor in stepping away is that this site has also enabled me to indulge in my other thinking and make endless notes on how to be a 'better me' either by understanding my hypersensitivity,...
  7. From Kafka on the Shore

    Never finished it but i really liked that part: "Nakata let his body relax, switched off his mind, allowing things to flow through him. This was natural for him, something he'd done ever since he was a child, without a second thought. Before long the borders of his consciousness fluttered around, just like the butterflies. Beyond these borders lay a dark abyss. Occasionally his consciousness would fly over the border and hover over that dizzying, black crevass. But Nakata wasn't afraid of...
  8. To tell my psych.

    I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose my only friend but i dont want to lose the person in my heart either. I still love him want to be with him after i die. But i don't want to hurt her. I want to make both of them happy. And i know i am not able to be in a relationship with him. Even if we met again i know i am not good with relationships, if we somehow break up i wouldn't be able to go on with my life. I am fighting hard to live everyday, he is giving me strength but now even...
  9. A Snowy Dawn

    This morning I was greeted with an early snowfall, and it's actually still snowing now, as I type this. I consider it to be a beautiful and peaceful conclusion to two weeks in which I've made huge improvements with my mental health and issues. Starting around Oct. 13th, the anniversary of the Miracle of the Sun at Fatima, I started on a journey of sorts in which I overcame a lot of my mental issues. It's difficult to go into details on it, but I'll discuss two things that contributed to my...
  10. Day 15: a new day

    today so far is good. it is not a disappointment. All my fears so far have not happened. It's my birthday. Nobody forgot. I decided to communicate this problem with my bf because i felt lke i was setting him up for failure. he seemed to remember my birthday but didnt get me anything yet at the time, but i am also a procrastinator when it comes to gifts. i got a few gift cards, so i will be able to do my hair again. My pets are also being very cute and loving today. I hope work is okay....
  11. Day 14

    I am not sure what the point of writing is. Even on good days after writing things it makes me realize my sadness more, and often time I collapse, or relapse, or whatever it's called back into the spiral. The more I talk about things, the more pointless it seems, because it's just complaining if there is no solution.
  12. Day 13: A late night entry

    I sit at work. I had a cancellation, but still made money. This is good. I wrote a paper for class and turned in my responses. I thought it was funny that in one response, a student put immolate instead of emulate. immolate means to burn at the stake apparently. I am realizing, I am still learning about myself. There is so much about me that is good that I don't know about yet. I have to keep persevering. I am always focused on how I'm hurt, and on here, I write about that a lot, but...
  13. Recently

    Age: almost 25. Education: dropped-out college student 3 TIMES. Medicine taking: Apa-bily, Zoplm, Valdoxan. Self-awareness: at least 6/10. I was very toxic to my parents. I'm trying to repair our relationships now. Relationships: willing to improve. Eating: fixed. Daily routine: scheduling. assuming I'm awake for 16 hours/day. I'll give the lecturer videos 9hrs/day which leaves me 7 hours to do stuff. 2 hours go to lunch/dinner/breaks then the other 5 hours would be exercising and doing...
  14. Day 12: meh prose but make it bad poetry

    I awaken to a call from my brother. He incoherently speaks of our mother: "Mother's sister of father!" I wonder why I bothered. I hang up, but the pain isn't over. _______________________ I wake up again No tears fall. I must distract Before it begins ___________________ My name is Eris I undo by way of strife My name is Eros I undo by way of love My name Hedone and I undo by way of pleasure My name is Athena and I undo by way of strategy My name is Coeus and I undo by way of wisdom My...
  15. Day 11: another day of confusion

    I went to bed early so it compensated for my cat SCREAMING for pets. I couldn't go back to sleep. I kept worrying if my bf would forget about my birthday. I am very confident that he has. I am worried about reminding him. I dont want to. He forgot to do anything for our anniversary in May. I say "forget to do anything" instead "forgot wholly our anniversary" because if you talk to him, he will deny it. he doesn't like to take blame, but who does in the face of accusation? If he forgets it,...
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