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Blogs

  1. Basically Stuck Either Way

    There's a lot of ways this applies in my life. For example, wearing a binder. I'm dysphoric without it, and dysphoric with it. More aware of my chest, constantly feeling it to see if I've "slipped" and have to adjust. Another instance is in school work I have to do. The teacher assigned a podcast and some questions to answer. Of course, the first thing I do is look up a transcription, but... It's not punctuated, in a weird font, and is in big blocks of text. I emailed the teacher about any...
  2. Ow, my head!

    emeto warning! I know some people don't want to read about nausea and what comes with it, so this is a warning! So, I have frequent headaches. Often enough that I usually decline meds for it in fear of becoming dependent/tolerant of it. However, not frequently enough to really tie it down to one thing. They usually happen after long, loud, social days, but other times it can happen after I change the cat's litter. Would this be a kind of sensory overload, or just connected to heightened...
  3. huh....Fail again.

    Bookshop Created by treebranch1 This link doesn't work. That was fast. The site worked just long enough for me to click a couple items, see that the place was running, post the Bookshop thing I had made. It has 43,008 results...or would have if the site were operational. But, it's not. Again. It's like when Skinner gave the pigeons the corn, every now and then. Intermittent Reinforcement.
  4. Site resurrects itself??

    More than half of this day, Easter 2019, generatorland was unusable. Said the Domain Name was expired. Clicking linked to you...nowhere...... In the late afternoon I was looking at facebook, saw a post from generatorland put up less than an hour ago. A big rabbit with the slogan "BE ALERT Don't get HURT! There was a link to the site. I clicked it, it actually went there. Since the place was functional, I posted this: Bookshop Created by treebranch1 I finished it today before the...
  5. Domain Name Expired

    Just as I was getting good at using the site, having made over 800 random generators, and beginning to piece together how to use the results in a workable way, apparently the people running the place have allowed the domain name to expire. Today. I see a couple new items have been posted since this morning, but clicking on them takes me to a blank page.
  6. Lost my train of thought...

    I had a good idea of what I wanted to write here, keyword "had". I suppose I'm dreading going back to school next week. That first day back is always horrifying, being bombarded with noise and smells and lights and people all at once. But at least I'll have a kind of structure in my life again! I feel kind of weird, because some days I feel "Wow, I really think I am autistic, I should really ask my mom/therapist about this", while others I feel totally "normal", as subjective as that may be....
  7. Wowza!

    It's been a long while since I was on here, mostly due to my horrible memory, getting more involved with school, and falling back into my default cycle of social media, games, repeat. However, I wanted to try and figure things out the way I do best: talking/typing to myself! I would like to ask my therapist about being autistic, seeing as I've created a Google Doc with various criterias and personal experiences, including multiple results from RDOS. I see him every 2 weeks, and after every...
  8. What's New?

    Looking at the list of newest generators, this morning: wow. That's a lot by one person. I started at the top of the list and went down. The 'quality' of the scribble person's production really bottomed out at "It's not love"....not that the standard was high to begin with. Kid is tossing out words, on topics. That's the positive aspect. At least it's not cramming 8 unrelated lists together, putting "I was bored" or "I'm sorry" for a Descriptor and "[word deleted] me up" on the Button....
  9. Freezing and Advice..

    I've been freezing quite alot when there's too many people around me, i don't know why.. I don't know how. And i always have to fight myself to keep moving. My legs will sometimes freeze, my mind goes numb. Shopping is extremely difficult and i try and avoid the same people twice as i worry i'll annoy them. Which is painful for me when i really need food, or i need to go do something such as visit the post office to get a package. I sometimes outright refuse to go out as i worry that i have...
  10. "Friends" and Life

    I again just really need to vent One thing i've always really wanted but never really had is a proper friend. It's such a simple thing but seems so out of reach for some reason, Over the years i've had what i thought were friends but honestly they treated me like garbage, They used to lie about going out just to keep me away and things when i was younger purely because i was a little too quiet for them and they wanted more louder friends. Eventually i removed them all and tried to make...
  11. 5 Hours & 10 Minutes Daily

    My IPad screen time was up 31% this week. Ideally, I’d like to be at less than 2-3 hours daily & one day off completely a week. It’s a work in progress.
  12. The physical process of developing a generator

    Here is a running account of the process of posting a random generator idea that I have been working on. I don't trust doing all the work in the work area of the site, since the place has issues and frequently there are problems. I work on material in my mail drafts. That way it's saved. A couple years ago I had over 400 drafts. Currently I have 54. My goal for this year is to maintain no more than 50 at a time. ==== OK. I go to the draft on the subject matter I want to finish and post....
  13. Preface to> the physical process of developing a generator

    email to my friend: QUOTE It helps to be telling you what I am doing, because that way I am not just talking to myself. Although, pretty often I try to make sense for my *later self*/me who will read my own notes at another time, because I've figured out that it's ok to explain things to myself, as if I didn't know what was going on. Previously I had the silly idea that because I was me, I'd know what I was talking about, later. This I found to be incorrect. I have had to recount quilt...
  14. April 12 2019

    Hello people! How yaw doing? I'm good. The family reunion went great. This week has been a whirlwind. Can't remember Monday, Tues. I had NAMI, last night I saw some friends, today I'm running errands, and tomorrow I got my nephew's birthday party-he turns 8. So I'm doing good. Trying to find work through supported employment. I haven't heard from my employment agency on that end yet. But still I remain hopeful. As I mentioned in the last entry my mom died about a month ago and some days are...
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