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Blogs

  1. Make a Wish

    You wouldn't believe what a Wonderful Day we had. Woke up and soon after getting dressed, about ten ladies arrived at my door. They handed me $100 cash and told me to get the heck out of my own house for at least 2 hours. So I treated my parents to a restaurant for an early Grandparent's Day gift. Just after we were done eating, my brother showed up in the parking lot, and I gave him some leftovers, so it was like he got to eat with us there too <3 We went home and found the entire house...
  2. There's a lot of good people

    People naturally have this thing with cancer. It's remarkable. Since being diagnosed, people have given us so much stuff. And it means a lot too. During the recession, we literally had almost nothing. First the vegetables would run out, then the meat, then the beans, and then we'd watch in horror as the rice was depleted. It's a good thing my daughter was homeschooled back then, because we slept most of the day to avoid feeling hunger pangs. I read every book I could to discover what...
  3. Chemo.....

    I always swore to myself that if I got cancer, I'd run away into the woods and live off the land. Drinking fresh water, eating raw herbs, do a massive burdock detox, etc. But when I hear I only have 3 to 5 years to live, and those years will be progressively worse and worse, as the cancer eats through my pelvic bone and metastasizes into my organs, what other choice do I have? I am a single mom. Abandoned by my daughter's father when he heard I was sick. I can't let her go into the foster...
  4. Started learning the local language

    My spouse relocated to my country. We have at least three languages used here; I repeat, THREE LANGUAGES!! English for work (we are not from English-speaking countries), Another local language for communication with the locals, And another foreign language for religious culture purpose (yes, we want to practice our beliefs). ..and my spouse is a level 1 (out of 100 or 1k levels) beginner at all of these languages.. Can you imagine how hard it is for an aspie, who relocated to a...
  5. 2 Hours, 47 Minutes Daily

    My priority project is going well enough. I feel I’m able to focus on limiting my iPad screen time again. I’ve been struggling with emotional regulation lately & limiting screen time seems to help with this. Among other things. My ultimate goal with limiting my screen time is to keep it between 1-2 Hours Daily, with one day off a week, one month off a year. It will also support my priority project by giving me the gift of more time to spend on that.
  6. I cried again last week.

    I cried reading picture books: Julian is a Mermaid & Frida Kahlo & Her Animalitos. That was unexpected. Nobody saw me, so I could enjoy it in peace. Excrete those stress hormones & release those endorphins. It does give me a slight headache from dehydration though, but it’s better for me than holding it in.
  7. Exhaustion

    I’m exhausted. I’m drained all the time. I’m really struggling to hold it together. The evenings are the hardest times for me. I can’t run away any longer, so I’m stuck wide awake with only myself for company. I don’t know how to cope with this. I’m so tense, and my fear of relaxing coupled with the possibility I could relax so much that I lose control makes me rigid with panic and stress. Nighttime is scary. I’m not functioning well after dark. I don’t know how to keep going. I’m triggered...
  8. Depression causes (draft).

    Random order. - bad nutrition - negative thinking - lack of verbal communication (social isolation) - not being physuically active (lifestyle, office work) - not being mentally active (routine work) - being smarter than average and seeing how bad our society is organized. - being unable to fufill basic human needs (instincts) - stress others puts on me - childhood traumas and wrong education (slave training) Now this runs in a circle, one contributes to another they shift places from day...
  9. Autism and CFS/ME

    Understanding the similarities and differences between autistic shutdowns and CFS/ME crashes.
  10. Today was a good day

    My day started slowly. I couldn't get out of bed until 9 a.m., until I got a call from my mom and dad who are on holiday in Asia. It cheered me up to see them. I was watching some DIY decor and DIY thrift store clothing upgrade videos on YouTube by the channel TheSorryGirls (I very much recommend!) and it gave me motivation to go to the thrift store myself. My to do list was as follows: get ready quickly (even though I felt like spending a lot of time putting on make-up and choosing...
  11. External Blog...

    I started an external version of this blog, Autlanders: Thriving Outside of the Box, in an effort to reach a larger audience.
  12. Super sad and feeling alone... so I made some chocolate chip cookies

    So yesterday I got really sad because I thought about what it was like to be that odd one out. You know where you are in a group of people supposedly friends , but the only reason you got invited up to the bbq or party was because you happened to be around the people at the time . That constant feel of wanting to fit in, having to text people to hang out so that you feel like you belong, but don’t....so disappearing for a couple week in to the safety of your bedroom seems like the best...
  13. My Top Five Favorite Animal Species

    This is based purely on how cute these animals are and my general personal opinion on them. My top five favorite animals: 1. Dogs/wolves 2. Possum (plus any variant of Possum) If you don't believe they're cute, watch this video: 3. Cats 4. Foxes 5. Squirells.
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