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Scary world-uglinessAlone By Edgar Allan Poe From childhood’s hour I have not been As others were—I have not seen As others saw—I could not bring My passions from a...- blue_bird
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Unreachable placeI know I'm months late to this, but I just saw your entry here. This is exactly why I have 一期一会 as my title here. It's a Japanese phrase that has...- Grondhammar
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Not deserving things - complicated feelingsI know what you mean about not wanting to bring others down. Hiding all that stuff is something I’ve done all my life. It seems impossible for me...- WhitewaterWoman
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Not deserving things - complicated feelingsHello. I feel like sometimes the things i feel are too depressive and don't want to affect anyone's mood. But i feel like exploding if i dont...- AprilR
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Not deserving things - complicated feelingsApril, hello. This is the first time I’ve looked into this blog section. I don’t really understand it. Why wouldn’t your post be ok in the regular...
- WhitewaterWoman
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Three cups of hot tea/
cure hunger cold and sorrow/
tea is warm enough/
Gibbons don't drink tea--/
by throwing rocks at tigers/
they keep warm enough/
If you know patience/
listen for the tiger's roar/
the end soon follows/
I've considered this;/
bar the door and the window/
sing gathas all...
The talking chalkboard at the local cafe is remarkably prescient. I've taken to showing up just so I can focus on what's going on in my other mind, where conversational snippets latch on to the thoughts I can see but not say. Processing those emotions and visions and hanging words on them feels...
Previously: What's a rainbow, in the context of managing how I think about, and in, my internal weather system? Since I couldn't answer, and didn't like "Rainbow as a door," I started with an anti-definition.
Initial Observations
I need to be more careful about laying out data labels: the...
Previously: Thunderous thoughts and lightning bolts have the same materials that rainbows do. What's in the blue arrow? I need to know, because not getting the job hits me where I hurt.
If there's a way from the dark thoughts on the left side of the image to the light and color on the...
Previously: If Psalm 51 was written by an aspie about "aspierience," what does Genesis bring that helps?
"God has had it," said the preacher, "but His heartbreak is resolved when He decides to change; His creation won't change very much, and He wants the relationship more than He wants to...
This whole month my brother as been taking a course of auto-esteem or some thing like that, I think it's a Self-confidence and personal motivation course but I'm not pretty sure, my brothers says it was to lose his bad habits, I know this isn't true because he still doesn't do what my mom tell...
Previously: I muddled metaphors to define deathcake (building up problems in a way that rapidly exhausts my processing capacity), a pictorial guide through an anxiety attack, and described how friends make exploring my psychic landscape safer. True to my condition--and its real definition--I was...
Previously: So my challenge personally seems to be about what I can do to stay in the moment when lightning hits the fault line. How will I slow down, find a virtue in being deliberate, and not confuse it with procrastination?...Go back and read the parasympathetic benefits thread again.
It's...
Previously: Deathcake earthquake happens when I let panic drive my need to act, because action looks like a way to control a situation. While it's weird to see panic as a controlling technique, it's even weirder asking what it is that panic controls, and why non-action is so hard to choose even...
I want to let everyone know that I have no hard feelings over the censorship incident that happened last month with my blog. But I think in a way it was a good thing, because it has freed me up to work on a project that is really important to me. Those of you who have been following me know...
Therapy has been a waste so far. I go and still haven't found one I feel I click with and they just sit there and fake smile at me and write notes while I speak and it makes me highly uncomfortable. Therapy sessions should be longer than an hour too. It feels too forced and way too cold. I can't...
Previously: Deathcake is self-directed schadenfreude driven by Murphy's Law: things not only can get worse, but will, and they should do so as fast as possible. Perhaps slowing down is not such a bad idea after all--but what does that process look like?
Pain is a great motivator. It alerts me...
I'm only a middling baker, but I do know how to make deathcake. Have you had deathcake? You might know it by another name. It's that richly decadent layer cake built from self-directed schadenfreude: the convincing misery that I am just not that good, that knowledgeable, that worthy, of good...
The tittle is my blog... blog is my title..................................
When I was young, like 4 - 5 years old, my parents used to fight all the time during the nights, I know because I remember every single fight that use to wake me up almost every time, my father start cheating my mother with multiple women and he doesn't even care for his family, and mostly the...
From the east, thunder/
my horse free-foots it, shying/
I clap hand to hat/
trail partnerships/
leave marks in our deepest hearts/
going on and on/
I don't see my tears/
the trail goes underwater/
I don't hear my laugh/
the trail's silent/
I don't feel my bad fortune/
just a saddle burr/...
Earlier this week I posted about a pending date with a woman with whom I’ve been mailing on and off for the past few months. I’ve gotten to quite like her over a variety of factors. I didn’t see a picture of her before so it was pretty much a “blind date” for me. And that in turn made it a bit...
Taking a cue from Spiller's comment (I'd link to it if I knew how):
I made myself go into the Games Forum and had a delightful time reading threads and playing. (I think I don't like online games, except Solitaire. But these are fun games!)
I'm learning how much AC means to me, which is scary...
Today is one of those calendar dates I like: one in which an historical figure I like had (or made) something happen. Today I remember the execution of Mary, Queen of Scots [links to image from the movie Elizabeth the Great].
Mary isn't an ancestor. I wasn't named for her; there's no particular...