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Small Histories
- Author Aspergirl4hire
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Launching a communal site to foster both a deeper understanding of what it is to be an aspie, what it means to other people to be an aspie, and how to move through the world as an aspie, requires intense energy. If it fails, some of the worst damage happens because the engine doesn't shut off...
Just reminding myself not to catastrophize. I find myself so intensely invested in what I do that when an initiative collapses, sometimes all I do is wander around the wreck, picking up blocks, and remembering that I knew where this stone came from, where it belonged, and how strange it is that...
I am fighting with this one, tonight. Fighting catastrophizing. Fighting the feeling of betrayal. Fighting to believe in myself, even if abandoned by people
who said
they loved me;
whatever that meant.
If I don't figure this out, I may not be human. What is a family, and how do you make one? Why do we make them? Why do we miss them? What do we do--literally--what do we do without them?
Family is like democracy. It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the...
The only social system where I've felt comfortable is the family I have now, and it's small. Today my son leaves for a two-week trip and I am aware that it will be very quiet. The Empty Nest isn't here yet, but I can feel the tremors for it. My son is older, hairier, more confident, and the...
We are more alike than we are different. Aren't we? And yet, the differences are important, so important that we choose our friends and lovers by them, declare enmities based on them, and develop passionate convictions along these lines we draw in the sand. What don't we like about the fact that...
It's been odd, watching management readjust to realizing that my needs might be different, and require a little adjustment in their parts.
Yesterday, the debacle over my OT issue had been resolved; I'll get comp time, pretty much at my own discretion, if I just "shave" days--an hour here, two...
It isn't a word, but it should be:
That sensation when you lie down to sleep, and you can't sleep, because the anger you've been disconnected from in an insanely busy week has finally quit smouldering and burst forth in earnest. Like its elemental sibling, the flashflood, it can burst...
A particularly interesting private conversation lead me to write something I'd like to make a little more public, and take in a direction other than the conversation went.
My new owner--er, employer--...(sigh). Freudian slips are so interesting, aren't they?
My new employer mandates diversity...
I am having a terrific case of Happy Art; I gave up perfection and stopped rating my craftsmanship. Instead I thought about writing with as few words as possible, pouring all the ideas into it, then paring them down, and leaving a splendid array of profligate puns and dead-ends. I love this...
"Art saves lives" is the tagline for one of the art schools in my area, and I believe that to be literally true. How it goes about saving a life merits a thoughtful look at what life requires of us, and we of it, to make it rewarding, or at least bearable in the rough spots.
I had a job once...
I've been dreaming in the borderlands a lot lately.
The borderlands are the boundary between the movies my mind makes about daily stuff and intersections with more archetypical things that suggest how energy is moving at, around, or through me. They're usually insightful and sometimes...
As a child, I self-studied random things:
The geography of South America, which I painted on a thimble, complete with mountain ranges modeled in paste, rivers, and capital cities I painted with a brush the size of a No. 2 pencil point;
Shampoo ingredients from the beginning (water) to...
As is usual with me, I fall upward after very painful reversals. If the credit check is OK, I will be employed again in less than a week.
The creative writing machine is cranking into gear. Did over 3000 words today.
I will need to slow down, I actually do need genuine rest from all the...
I need a word for how I feel now. "Brainburn" will do. There's a hot sheet pulsing at the top of my school and a heaviness in my skull. My eyelids are heavy. Thoughts are sluggish. I am tired, maybe a little sleepy, and I generally feel bruised. I took emergency meds yesterday to stop the slide...
My friend Stephanie has a soft spot for damaged or stray dogs. She's a skilled alpha female who didn't hesitate to wrestle one of her new dogs to the floor and establish, very unambiguously, that she is the alpha, and there will be no question about that, now or ever.
Stephanie once had a dog...
Why do some rise and fall, while others just plod along in life? Today is the anniversary of Anne Boleyn's execution. Her headless ghost is said to drive a carriage, walk Tower Green, and haunt Blickling Manor and Hever Castle. But it's her ability to symbolize the hazards of a woman not like...
One of the things this blog does for me is provide some kind of minimal accountability:
It's part of my daily writing regimen.
I can't just write blah blah blah. If I'm going to blah, it has to blah about something. I mean, I do think about you, Reader. (Gentle Reader, if you're an Isaac Asimov...
This is an expansion of my post on why I signed the Petition Against Autism Speaks, which anthoskate published this morning in the General Autism Spectrum Discussions>General Autism Discussion. As usual, my first effort always benefits from editing; there was more I could have done, and much I...
Procrustes was an innkeeper who adjusted his guests to their bed. Procrustes, whose name means "he who stretches," offered hospitality to travelers with a unique value proposition: a bed that exactly matched whoever lay down upon it. When the guest lay down, Procrustes racked the traveler if he...