Your relationship status?

[Ylva]

Single and happy if it stays that way for ever.

My ideal mate will, however, accept me and love me the way I am, if only because that is one of the criteria.

 

[robertwnielsen]

Single and happy if it stays that way for ever.

My ideal mate will, however, accept me and love me the way I am, if only because that is one of the criteria.

I know the feeling, Ylva. When I started dating the girl who is now my DSSW (Dear, Sweet, and Sexy Wife), I was hoping that she could accept the quirks that came with me, even though I didn't know what those quirks were at the time. When I got my diagnosis a couple of years ago, she suddenly understood the way my mind works (and the way it sometimes doesn't work), and it's actually made our relationship stronger. <3

 

[HelloDizzy]

Still single.
Not interested in anything short-term or anyone who doesn't accept me enough to not try and change me.

 

[anne.bc]

Happily engaged with a dash of impatience. lol

I've been engaged to a neurotypical guy for what will be 4 years in late september. We "have a date" but it really depends on the job market. He had a job, which was why we finally picked a date... but he quit for very valid reasons like super delayed pay, lies in the company, and all kinds of fishy things about the company in general. Lawsuits galore, to put it simply. He's been looking ever since, and he just had an open interview with Guitar Center just the other day. I'm hopeful, since it would be a job he'd be passionate about.

I'm still finishing up school. I graduate this May, so hopefully the job market is kind to both of us, and that planning can stay "green light". It's currently "proceed with great amount of caution".

 

[supernova]

My partner and I have been together for a number of years but we don't live together. We both need are own space and living about 5-10 minutes away from each other's homes is the ideal situation for both of us

 

[Undiagnosed]

Not so recentley divorced. Want a relationship but to think of the 'looking ' process about makes me sick (probably post tramatic stress). I just havn't gotten up the motivation or whatever it takes for me to go there again. Hopeing it fallss into my lap becouse I don't know when or if I'll ever get to the point of wanting to 'look' for it.

 

[dwc780]

Update from two months ago: I've moved on fairly well from my last relaionship, after almost six months of wallowing in it. I'm still single, but in that sort of funny, kinda awkward in between stage with a girl that I like very much and would like to see where it goes. Trying to get this working seems to be a little more difficult then the last time, because my last relationship was started before I moved three hours away, and now I live three hours away and am trying to form a relationship in a mix between long distance and being back in town every other weekend or so.

 

[gregmcph]

Married. Sort of happy, but confused and uncertain.

She is an amazing social creature. Church, Family, Friends, Neighbours... they love her. She's a woman who can walk up to anyone, put her arm around them and be their closest, dearest friend in moments. I am in awe of her.

But I can't do that. I have zero interest in the Church stuff, and her family is a mix of people I quite like and others who openly dislike me. I am finding it tougher and tougher to keep a foot in her world. They are overjoyed to see her, and, oh, her husband is here too. And so sometimes I feel like I should set her free. Detach my anchor from her feet, and let her fly through the world.

The complicated hassles of performing my required social duties, while trying to survive them without offending or making awkward moments. Keeping my precious links with her and my kids, without destroying their precious links with everyone else.

And I have no friggin' idea how to do it right.

 

[Soup]

@Dizzy: Good for you! YOU are a great girl & you don't need to go changing yourself or your interests:you just need to choose better behaviours & make better decisions for yourself. This comes with maturity & practice. One good decision that brings you a positive outcome will encourage you to make more.

 

[supernova]

Gregmcph, talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel an ask her how she feels. Much better to bring it all out in the open than let it fester inside of you.

 

[Butterfly_Lady]

Gregmcph- I agree with supernova, talk to her about how you feel in this situation. Don't let it fester in you, that will only end up making things worse!!

 

[gregmcph]

Well, we have, and she understands, but she doesn't understand.
She halfway accepts it when I say at some noisy party "Hun, I can't handle this" and I go for a walk around the block in the quiet cool night air for an hour.
She accepts that is what I do, but it still bothers her that I have left her alone.

I was reading Freckles thread "Marriage Problems", and while my problems are vastly vastly smaller than his, I can see the link.
Being loyal and devoted and in love isn't always enough. She want to fly in ways that I can't.

 

[Pusteblume]

Well you could say I'm dating, don't really know what to casll it.. well we don't know what to call it.
It's a little complex or not really usual relationship I and Dino have (and yes it's ok to write his name here for him).
We was a couple for more then 2 years but then he broke up 'cause he felt he couldn't handle some of my traits (impulsivness, lack of sexual desire and mood swings) together with him not feeling well himself too. But after a couple of months without me he missed me and we started to see each other. During thoose month without each other I got my ADHD-meds and my impulsivness and mood swing almost totally disappeared (which was good for both me and others, but the mood swings could also have been during a lot of changes around the same time I meet Dino). We tried being a couple again, but we felt that we both felt inprisoned so we broke up on a mutual agreement, but we have continue to be with each other in a couple-like way. So everyone believes we are a couple, including his mother and our friends.
To others this may sound like a bad and weird solution, but for us it works perfectly and we havn't had a single "discussion" in about 2 years now. ^-^

 

[supernova]

Well, we have, and she understands, but she doesn't understand.
...She want to fly in ways that I can't.

No, we can't. No amount of therapy really works and it's stressful to have to 'fake'; also it can feel deceitful, especially to someone really close. It's odd how people will accept that blindness, deafness or some physical problem can make it hard for someone to react to life in the same way as others but not the difficulties experienced by someone with AS or high-functioning autism.

If you have a good relationship then don't fret about things and accept that your wife appreciates what a good man she has in you.

 

[Undiagnosed]

Well, we have, and she understands, but she doesn't understand.
She halfway accepts it when I say at some noisy party "Hun, I can't handle this" and I go for a walk around the block in the quiet cool night air for an hour.
She accepts that is what I do, but it still bothers her that I have left her alone.

I was reading Freckles thread "Marriage Problems", and while my problems are vastly vastly smaller than his, I can see the link.
Being loyal and devoted and in love isn't always enough. She want to fly in ways that I can't.

I agree with Supernova. No relationship is perfect. They all have issues they have to adjust to. You see yourself as an 'anchor' to your wife but mabey you are the 'grownding force' or something like that. Mabey she wasn't looking for someone like her. Just becouse you are not social dosn't mean she would be better off without you. There are many other aspects to life together .

 

[Butterfly_Lady]

I am happy to be in a relationship with Nolan. I feel I have finally found someone who really understands me and cares about my problems, my past (in a comforting way) and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I never thought the day would come (with the guys I have met in the past as well as my past "relationships")

 

[Intemporal_Reverie]

Hi, I'm new here and when I saw this thread I simply could not help myself.

I'm fresh out of hell here. I have a story, the likes of which perhaps some here can relate to. It's torment beyond words. Right now, I'm single (it was unavoidable) but months ago that was all different. I suppose for now I will simply post here as to introduce this notion of what happened to me.. When it first happened, when we parted ways, I will tell you... It left me in a state which I had never known or even felt before. We both have Asperger's so the relationship was interesting and rewarding with it's set of challenges. There were other factors of madness with us involved as well which served to complicate matters in the extreme. (I can share that privately with those who would want to hear the rest of my insane story) I'm no stranger to relationships and had my share of women, both NT and AS. But I truly loved her and I know she loved me and still does deep down... Didn't think I could feel until I met her..

She taught me how to love and how to feel...I will never forget her.



If anyone ever needs to talk relationships, or anything else, I'm the person to talk to. Feel free to message me or whatever.

 

[SirMaverick]

I am single, by choice. I haven't found the loving feeling yet.

~clears throat and breaks out into song~

You've lost that lovin' feeling,
Whoa, that lovin' feeling,
You've lost that lovin' feeling,
Now it's gone...gone...gone...wooooooh.

~grins~ had to LOL

I hear ya. I've been single off and on since I got divorced in 07. IF I find someone, hey great. if not...meh just keep on living my life one day at a time.

 

[Aalo]

I've been single for almost two years, and am not looking.
I might want to call for arranged relationship. If choosing between someone really adorable who might turn out to be very unrealistic, it could be fun to try get feelings growing on someone good on paper. Hmm.

 

[code-e]

I'm single ready to mingle