Worst things to say while your wife/partner is in labor

[D'Andre]

here are mine...
*Can you keep the screaming down? I'm trying to read a book over here.
*guess what.....my whole family is moving in! yay
*I just decided i don't want children
*Is your figure gonna stay that way?
*(phone rings) Hello? oh hi; no i'm not busy whats up?
*my stomach hurt too

 

[Alaric593]

"I know this is awkward but I'm going to have to swab our babies mouth for a paternity test once you finish"

 

[Metalhead]

I am bringing the drugs for our Labor Party!

 

[Jeff T]

"There's a guy with a video camera who wants to film the birth!"

 

[Aspychata]

Since everything is paid for, can you pop out one more?
Can it eat TacoBell?

 

[Metalhead]

I want a divorce.

 

[Aspychata]

Can l hit the gym? I will be right back.

 

[Metalhead]

Can we recreate that scene from Freddy Got Fingered now?

 

[LadyS]

Can you hurry it up a little? I don't want to miss the big game tonight...

 

[Metalhead]

I just quit my job. I expect you and the baby to start taking care of me.

 

[Aspychata]

Can we use the dog bed? For a crib?

 

[Metalhead]

I expect you to lose that big fat belly within a week now that the baby is coming out.

(Gawd, I feel filthy just typing out something that horrible, even as a joke.)

 

[Aspychata]

Hey, l know let's call it Covid. Covid, time for dinner!
Hey, totally bad taste.

 

[Metalhead]

Hey, l know let's call it Covid. Covid, time for dinner!
Hey, totally bad taste.

Really, we could just name him Damien Thorne.

 

[D'Andre]

I expect you to lose that big fat belly within a week now that the baby is coming out.

(Gawd, I feel filthy just typing out something that horrible, even as a joke.)

I know but that hilarious! And what makes it funnier...many ,if not most, of these scenerios have happened lol

 

[D'Andre]

You never talk to me anymore

 

[D'Andre]

Hey, l know let's call it Covid. Covid, time for dinner!
Hey, totally bad taste.

Naw, its really funny

 

[D'Andre]

There's a tsunami/tornado heading this way...see ya

 

[Crossbreed]

Can we use the dog bed? For a crib?

(We used an open dresser drawer for a short time... )

 

[Luca]

"Oops."