Worst things to say while your wife/partner is in labor

[D'Andre]

You're still going to work tomorrow right? We have bills!

 

[D'Andre]

Hey doc, she's hot...shave her head

 

[D'Andre]

I saw this video the other day about a wasp that injects her eggs into the body of a caterpillar, and then the larva live inside the caterpillar while it eats and acts normally, and then the larvae burst out of its body like something out of Aliens and make a nest of cocoons. And not only does the caterpillar somehow survive all of of this, but it's been brainwashed to guard the cocoons until it starves to death. Then they hatch into adult wasps and start all over.

Anyway, this little act of nature would not be a fun thing to hear while in labor.

That was good!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Where do babies come from?

 

[D'Andre]

Where do babies come from?

Another good one, Cap

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

You can’t be going into labor just yet! It’s not Labor Day. It’s called that because that the day you can go into labor!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I can’t wait to read All My Friends Are Dead to the baby!