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Why does society view autistic people as mentally incompetent?

Society thinks they can’t make decisions for themselves and they think that they are mentally incompetent. Why is that?
I think it's because 90% of people with autism meet the criteria for a mental health disorder and the other 10% have mental health problems.

And this affects them dating and having sexual relationships. What else does society view autistic people when it comes to dating and sex? Like me for example they think of that of me because I am autistic.
I don't think it affects dating much as you only need to find one person and there are plenty of people in the world who have mental health problems that you can date. People who are mentally well tend to notice when others are mentally ill and avoid them. They will probably treat you the same way even if you never told them you were autistic.
 
I just dont understand how someone doesn't know how they feel, we're just different like that, which is fine.
I never know when someone asks, because I haven't been monitoring my feelings, if I even have any feelings just then. I am alexithemic, so if I try to notice how I am feeling, I likely won't know anyway. I had way over-the-top out of control feelings as a child, and deliberately learned to suppress them.

Feelings just aren't relevant to me. Rationality is much more useful and reliable.
 
I think it's because 90% of people with autism meet the criteria for a mental health disorder and the other 10% have mental health problems.


I don't think it affects dating much as you only need to find one person and there are plenty of people in the world who have mental health problems that you can date. People who are mentally well tend to notice when others are mentally ill and avoid them. They will probably treat you the same way even if you never told them you were autistic.
Yeah like what mental health problems?
 
Yeah like what mental health problems?
As far as mental disorders, I think the most common in people with autism are depression, social anxiety disorder, and various personality disorders. As far as other mental problems, I'm referring to things like cognitive distortions, negative attitudes, looking down at others, stubbornness, self-absorption, self-hatred triggering emotions in response to constructive criticism, and heightened emotional sensitivity in general. Of course, not everyone with autism has all these problems and it's likely that everyone without autism has some type of mental health problem as well since no one is perfect.

I posted my response because I used to think people disliked me because I was autistic but later realized it was due to mental health problems that were within my power to change. After working to overcome those mental health problems, people respond more positively to me, like me more, and treat me better which makes it much easier to get along with others.
 
:)

I think that when some people don't understand something they say that the thing they do not understand is stupid. Of course, that's stupid, but don't blame them - it's not their fault if they're stupid!
Sometimes it is their fault of course, because they lack courage to face certain truths. In that case again -don't blame them. They're in a hard spot - they must find courage.
 
That is interesting...I don't know if I can believe it is 100% hardwired -- I think there is a learned component.

Honestly what you describe for your own reaction sounds like xenophobia -- you see something strange that you cannot understand, and it causes you anxiety..? Only you know, though -- if it is that or something much more specific and way different.

Some people find strange = fascinating/open question as their default, as opposed to strange = scary/threat

I haven't looked at research about this kind of thing carefully ever, and in passing not for many years....
Unfortunately the research does suggest that non-autistic folks do tend to have less positive first impressions of folks with autism as compared to other NT's in general. However, impressions improve if the NT knows in advance the person is autistic. But then you are back to the issue that some people don't react well to the news.

The following is not my own writing. These are the titles of research papers and the summaries ChatGPT put together quickly for me. I've already read the first two, intend to follow up and read the last two. Is it bad my favorite thing about taking online University courses is the access to the library and the research journals portal?
  • Sasson et al. (2017) — Neurotypical Peers are Less Willing to Interact with Those with Autism based on Thin Slice Judgments (Scientific Reports).
    This is one of the most-cited papers showing that brief exposures (“thin slices”) are enough for non-autistic observers to form consistently less favorable impressions and reduced intent to interact.
  • DeBrabander et al. (2019) — Do First Impressions of Autistic Adults Differ Between Autistic and Typically Developing Raters? (Autism in Adulthood).
    Focuses on first impressions and includes the important twist of diagnostic disclosure (impressions can improve when raters know the person is autistic). Full text is available on PubMed Central.
  • Boucher et al. (2023) — Negative first impression judgements of autistic children by non-autistic adults (Frontiers in Psychiatry).
    Uses brief clips and manipulates information channels (audio / audiovisual / still, etc.). Finds more negative ratings for autistic children, with particularly strong effects in conditions containing audio.
  • Systematic review + meta-analysis (2025) — First Impressions Towards Autistic People: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis (Autism Research).
    If you want the “big picture” that aggregates multiple studies on first impressions, this is a good anchor paper.
 
As far as mental disorders, I think the most common in people with autism are depression, social anxiety disorder, and various personality disorders. As far as other mental problems, I'm referring to things like cognitive distortions, negative attitudes, looking down at others, stubbornness, self-absorption, self-hatred triggering emotions in response to constructive criticism, and heightened emotional sensitivity in general. Of course, not everyone with autism has all these problems and it's likely that everyone without autism has some type of mental health problem as well since no one is perfect.

I posted my response because I used to think people disliked me because I was autistic but later realized it was due to mental health problems that were within my power to change. After working to overcome those mental health problems, people respond more positively to me, like me more, and treat me better which makes it much easier to get along with others.
Oh wow interesting I think it’s the same with me because I also have Bipolar 2 as well
 
Albert Einstein was using his cousin as a maid, not a sex partner, she probably had already passed menopause when they got together. Completely rational, no endogamy

He married her. You cannot possibly know if they had sex or not. Post-menopause women have sex all the time. Using his first cousin/wife as a maid rather than loving her as his wife is despicable.
 
Nobody said he was a great husband, I read a lot of biographies on him. He was a real loner later in life. if alive now would have an open marriage. See contract or letter he wrote prior to marrying her.
 
I think he's mentally incompetent in a great many things, like being a good human being. However, the topic is a trigger for me so I will leave it simply at that.

Interesting subject to ponder the reality of how mental, social and even political competency can be compromised with such personalities as well as the rest of us, IMO. Most definitely yet another aspect of human behavior that is filled with those "shades of grey" as opposed being a "black and white" matter.

However what sets him apart is one consideration that amounts to common denominator with our species. His net worth and how it can instantly transcend so many shortcomings. Cultural hypocrisy where the wealthy are "eccentric" while the rest of us are just labeled as crazy- or stupid.
 
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Nobody said he was a great husband, I read a lot of biographies on him. He was a real loner later in life. if alive now would have an open marriage. See contract or letter he wrote prior to marrying her.

My grandfather, a medical doctor, Army colonel, and a member of the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), forerunner to the CIA, was a spy in Romania for the US during WWII. He was fluent in German. Afterwards, he was stationed at Fort Detrick in Maryland where he was involved in germ warfare, LSD experiments and who-knows-what-else the government was doing there. Einstein and his wife lived two doors down from him. Grandfather often told the tale of seeing Einstein digging holes in his backyard in the full light of the moon. No one knows what Einstein was doing.
 
I also remember how I was with my ASD ex on the autism meeting, and he told me about another autistic guy "that guy is creepy." So even autistics have that "something is weird" alarm as well it seems.
Of course no one should bully anyone because they're different, im just explaining that there is this "off" feeling about some people, autistic or not.
That is called the "uncanny valley."
 
As long as it is not anti-social... ;)
Keep to myself, do not bother me I will not bother you. worked for me hung out with my brothers. As family we were different. not typical, Now that I have subscribed to Myheritage. seeing some interesting stuff.
 
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Anti-social is when you do mean things to your neighbors, unnecessarily.
There is nothing wrong with 'weird,' when it is harmless.
 

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