What does an interesting life look like to you? I mean, most autistics I know are shut-ins, myself included.
When I was eating my lunch the other day at work two female colleagues of mine were talking about when they were young and the fun they got up to in pubs and bars, and even though they're middle-aged now and couldn't live that lifestyle again, they still said how fun it was when they were young and that they didn't have a care in the world.
Me on the other hand, I was lonely, never been drunk in my life, never been clubbing, didn't "live", and was such an anxious, nervous wreck for my age.
Other people say they used to party all night then go to work the next day feeling okay. I feel weak and useless for never accomplishing that. I didn't even have a job when I was a young adult, but if I did I wouldn't have dared to go out the night before a shift. I seemed to have the sense of a 40-year-old when I was 20. While most will say that's a good thing, it still indicates that I didn't live the fun life like a 20-year-old should. I was a friendless shut-in with depression and anxiety.
But the Aspies I do know (not been diagnosed in childhood) all seemed to have lived the normal NT life when they were 20; somehow forming a group of friends to hang out with, living it out at clubs, bars and festivals, experimenting alcohol and weed, just like the vast majority of young adults.
Sitting alone in your room on your computer every weekend night at around age 17-24 years old is frowned upon in western society for some reason.
I think that's a pretty tricky conclusion to make for a couple of reasons. First, the memories you have of yourself, were made at age 4, 6, 12, etc, with the emotional maturity and perception thereof. For example, I don't remember being overtly bad, but my mother kept my actual school records and I had clearly documented severe behavioral issues. These were blamed on my being deaf, but in retrospect, likely had AuDHD components.
I have a really good memory so I remember a lot of my childhood. Obviously I don't remember much of being 4 and under, but I do have a few memories of how I started out at school being so disruptive. Apparently I was so "bad" that I had to be statemented, which led to all the assessments to see "what was wrong" with me - even though by age 5 I'd calmed down a lot and was able to just fit in socially, even though I was a highly sensitive child and needed help with catching up on my reading and writing skills, but there were a few other children with the same learning difficulties and they didn't need to get statemented to get some support in the classroom. In every classroom there's always about 5-6 children who need support catching up and so are often placed on the special ed table. But they had to go above and beyond with me and single me out and slap a diagnosis on me.
Second, the way you word this, makes me feel as though you are seeing autism as nothing but a label and if you didn't have this label and then the autism doesn't exist, is that correct? I understand it is quite tough to live with the label, but I think very few late diagnosed autistic people can be considered "done fine" - they get the assessment because their lives are falling apart in some way.
I just don't get how so many millennials go through childhood without being recognised as in need of a diagnosis even though their autism seems more severe than me.
I would feel much more relaxed if AS wasn't pasted all over my medical records. I always fear it's going to get revealed in some way without my consent, despite all these laws about confidentiality. Is it really 100% confidential? And say I wanted to join the army or something, I wouldn't be able to with the stupid diagnosis. Not that I would join the army but that's not the point. As confidential as my medical records are supposed to be, I still feel hindered by the diagnosis moreso than the disorder itself. I'd rather just put all my existing problems down to anxiety, depression, ADHD and OCD than autism, but I can't really because it's down on my medical records.