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Featured What if I like not 'fitting in'?

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by SageRose, Jan 7, 2019.

  1. Dias

    Dias Active Member

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    Well, how to put it in to words? I never fitted in and never will. When I am in a social environment I feel completely zombie...that is how I can describe it. I must be so completely out of this reality or shut down that I am not even aware of what others think of me. Never tried to copy anyone but was also never able to be spontaneous in my ways. A zombie all my life...But I was never bullied, mocked sometimes yes, but I always thought that this happens with everyone. In fact I think people are afraid and intimidated by me:confused:
    Instinctively I have always known that it was better for me to shut up and be alone, anyway I do not like the conversations and behaviours of most people so in that sense I never tried to fit in because I just did not want to become like them.
    My issue is not and never was fitting in society, I also don't want a biological cure, what I want is to know myself, accept myself, and learn to cope with my difficulties in a way that I stop hurting myself and those around me. I also wish I could tell a joke sometimes or talk in a more humorous way to make people smile and relax around me , but I think I get to serious and scare people out:D sometimes I laugh when I am alone thinking about the reactions I provoke in people but most of the times I get angry with myself...the pressure they put on us women to be kind and always nice and feminine is really unrealistic...
    It takes me 40 minutes to write a post like this. Is it the same for you?:eek:
     
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  2. BlueSky Aozora

    BlueSky Aozora Member

    Messages:
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    Dec 27, 2018
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    Yes, i agree. Small talk.. Sometimes i wonder, is it just because they're talking about something that only they know & never mentioned to me before... And i wonder how do NT responds when they're in the same situation as me... I then find myself shut up & just listening because i dont know what they're talking about. I wish i could respond better.

    Climbing social ladder.. Tricky! So many unspoken rules. Thank you for the reply :)
     
  3. BlueSky Aozora

    BlueSky Aozora Member

    Messages:
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    Dec 27, 2018
    Karma:
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    Thank you for the reply, very helpful :)
    So, it's ok if our friends are happier with others than with us.. Yeah, who cares :) Maybe they actually didnt feel bad about us, and maybe i'm just overthinking :)

    So, just let it be, just accept it, stop overthinking, stop trying to please others, just be polite, and do things that we like.. Thanks :)