robertsomerville
Well-Known Member
it's not easy being single 
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I have this guy that won't take no for an answer. Should I just settle? >_<; Wait, I have two guys that won't take no for an answer. This is what I get for being too nice.
Anyways, I wonder what I should do, should I go out with out of them. Knowing the fact his self-esteem isn't that great and he is way older than me. To remind y'all, I am 22 and he is like in his mid-thirties. His view points aren't really up to par on mine and... I rather find a comic book nerd that lives in their mom's basement. :S
Why are all the good men taken or don't have an interest in me.
Edit: Is there a chance that if I meet one of the members here, would it work out? Hm... from what I can tell I think by date number three, we would dump each other. :S
Is there anyone out there who needs a boyfriend, because I've been with my girlfriend for eight years, but then it started not working out well, so we decided to just be friends. Now I'm really desperate in finding someone because alot of my friends or people I know are either getting engaged, or married; not to mention having kids. If anyone knows any single person, please let me know.
I can tell you that the worst advice anyone ever gave anyone was "don't settle." Why is it bad? Because it is ambiguous. What they are really saying is: "Don't settle __________" without filling in the blank. So many things you can input into that blank seem shallow and vapid. Don't settle on looks? Personality? Fashion sense? It is ridiculous.
Also, the same people will tell you that true love never fades who also treat love as an amorphous emotion that you either feel or don't. Emotions, by definition, are temporal states of being. They come and go. If love is just something you know when you "feel" it, then it will fade like any other temporal emotional state. So, either love is something more than a feeling, or it is not.
If it is more than a feeling, then maybe it is a commitment? I don't know. What I do know is that you are either going to commit to love a man or you will not. If you wait for the perfect man, then you will be waiting for a looooooong ass time (none of us come even close). Ergo, you will have to "settle" on something if you want a lasting relationship.
I have been married for 6 years this month. In all that time, my wife and I never knew I had AS, yet we made it work (it is much easier now that we know). She isn't perfect, and neither am I, but I love her and choose to love her every day. We both settled on fictitious notions we held as children of the perfect man/woman, and we are both dramatically happier for it. You will be too.
That doesn't mean that this guy(s) who "won't take no for an answer" is a good (or safe) person to commit to, but at least he knows what he wants, and what he wants is you! That is pretty awesome in and of itself and, barring stalker issues, is a generally positive thing.
I can tell you that the worst advice anyone ever gave anyone was "don't settle."
I totally disagree. I have a list, yes a list, of the things I want in a "hunny". Of course, I have tweaked it throughout the years, but there are things on the list that are still on there and will not be removed because "I WILL NOT SETTLE"...
Try OK Cupid. Take it seriously— Answer lots of questions honestly, put up some good photos, write a good profile. Then, answer the messages you'll get. Always check the match rating— Aim for 85% or better. Check what questions you answered differently from the other person— the "unacceptable" answers. Be polite with all the duds, Just tell 'em "No thanks Bud, good luck. Bye." and go to the next. Be choicey. Take your time. Then you'll have half a dozen or more to choose from and next week some more. Find the best possible partner you can. Be proactive, increase your odds. Nobody is perfect. But settling for sub-par is not a good solution.I have this guy that won't take no for an answer. Should I just settle? >_<; Wait, I have two guys that won't take no for an answer. This is what I get for being too nice.
Anyways, I wonder what I should do, should I go out with out of them. Knowing the fact his self-esteem isn't that great and he is way older than me. To remind y'all, I am 22 and he is like in his mid-thirties. His view points aren't really up to par on mine and... I rather find a comic book nerd that lives in their mom's basement. :S
Why are all the good men taken or don't have an interest in me.
Edit: Is there a chance that if I meet one of the members here, would it work out? Hm... from what I can tell I think by date number three, we would dump each other. :S
1) You not having a boyfriend does not make you a loser.My Dr asked me the other day if I had a boyfriend, I felt like a complete loser because I haven't got one! It fustrates me sometimes. I get asked this stupid question frequently, especially from taxi drivers. It really offends me...may as well get 'loser' printed across my forehead. I would never ask a guy such an offensive question.
I made a rule with my brothers: the toilet seat can be however they want it during the day, but during the night it must be down. They agreed and ended up being pretty good about it.As an old married hen of four years (okay, maybe not that old), these are the first three things I have learned for a successful marriage:
1. Super glue is your best friend in the toilet seat war. Glue that sucker to the bowl, and you'll never fall in again!
2. Sew magnets into all his clothes and attach the opposite magnet to the clothes basket. You'll never have a cluttered floor again!
3. Get a good rolling pin. You'll need it to win arguments.
Heehee, just kidding. But I like to tell it to other couples anyway to make them laugh. We adjust the toilet as we want and I just do a search and rescue on laundry day.
keep your head up.. There will be that one to come.. I know how you feel.. I too got bit by the lonly bug an I try to keep my head up ..I didn't want to feel like "caving" so soon, but I am starting to catch the "lonely single person" virus... lol...
My ex and I broke up two months ago and generally I have been loving single life. Now I don't know if this is just a bad day or not but I'm feeling restless... I want my boyfriend to be a raver this time, but the only dating site I found for that has been shut down. I really don't want to resort to Zoosk or anything. I have heard many stories about disappointment with ladies being offered meaningless sex and not an actual relationship... That and a friend of mine needed to shut down her profiles because someone hacked them, changing her posts to say that she was looking for a good time in the bedroom and releasing her phone number and home address... she has changed the phone numbers and has at least one account deactivated now but she's still working on the others.
I have HUGE trust issues. I told myself "give me a year, or fate. Whichever comes first" but that might be more than a year. lol
I don't want to sell myself short but it's frustrating when I have tried even looking for Facebook groups for single ravers. The only EDM forums out there seem to be about DJ sets and discussions, and promoting events. Trying to hold my head up high.
Hello am new at this site.. Just learning the ropes .. No no don't cute the rope .. Lol jk..
keep your head up.. There will be that one to come.. I know how you feel.. I too got bit by the lonly bug an I try to keep my head up ..
I didn't want to feel like "caving" so soon, but I am starting to catch the "lonely single person" virus... lol...
My ex and I broke up two months ago and generally I have been loving single life. Now I don't know if this is just a bad day or not but I'm feeling restless... I want my boyfriend to be a raver this time, but the only dating site I found for that has been shut down. I really don't want to resort to Zoosk or anything. I have heard many stories about disappointment with ladies being offered meaningless sex and not an actual relationship... That and a friend of mine needed to shut down her profiles because someone hacked them, changing her posts to say that she was looking for a good time in the bedroom and releasing her phone number and home address... she has changed the phone numbers and has at least one account deactivated now but she's still working on the others.
I have HUGE trust issues. I told myself "give me a year, or fate. Whichever comes first" but that might be more than a year. lol
I don't want to sell myself short but it's frustrating when I have tried even looking for Facebook groups for single ravers. The only EDM forums out there seem to be about DJ sets and discussions, and promoting events. Trying to hold my head up high.
Hah... it's funny you bring this up. I've been going through something similar I suppose.
Single for about a month now and I'm feeling a bit restless. Perhaps it's just that I spoke to my ex way, way too often (as in; daily) and that just turned into a big void now.
The raver thing; I can identify. Not neccesarily that I'm looking for a raver myself, but at least someone with whom I share a lot of interests beyond just some personal and physical attraction. My main issue however seems to be along the lines of being way too specific in what I'm looking for and expecting. Though being picky is a good thing I suppose.
I've also considered online dating, especially since I've had succes with it in the past, but honestly I feel that I should really seek out more specific sites that cater to my interest. Though they rarely have any dating going on.
And I'm not even going into the entire "I'm on the spectrum and I might be a bit odd on top" thing, hah...
Yeah I have way too many "requests" for my next relationship (s?) and I just... don't want to scare them all away... now that I have a better idea of what works for me and what doesn't, I have actually started listing them... and so far the list has finally stopped growing... for now...
But yes, a raver is a must... because it's becoming a huge part of my life. EDM has been a hug for me in the last 3 years and to attend raves just makes me happy. I was dragging my ex to a few of them and well, I want my next SO to enjoy them as immensely as I do. It would be very convenient to have such an interest to relate to.