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Featured Small Talk (How much does it bother you?)

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by savi83, May 17, 2017.

  1. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    I do let them chat on there own and occasionally say a few words here and there. They usually change the subject anyway however it is still not as bad or as annoying as when my parents and Grandmother do it.
     
  2. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Yes, small talk is tedious and boring. I think that there are 3 reasons:

    1. People who have nothing in common with each other forced into social situations where they feel the need to make conversation for the sake of politeness. Family members, for example.

    2. People who meet each other for the fist time need to get the measure of each other and are gathering information to form a general picture of that person.

    3. Needing to form alliances or friendships and social connections by means of exchanging ememes and other non-verbal signals, but through a verbal context.

    My idea of torture would be to be locked in a room with Commander Hutchinson:
     
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  3. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    The more you use it, the clearer it gets.
     
  4. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    It's still a work in progress.
     
  5. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    All language is.
     
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  6. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

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    Hate it NO good at it HECK NO i try to learn and do as best i can tho :confused:
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2019
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  7. Yeshuasdaughter

    Yeshuasdaughter Well-Known Member

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    Nts puzzle me. I know they are the normal ones, but i just don't get it.
     
  8. Yeshuasdaughter

    Yeshuasdaughter Well-Known Member

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    I just realised that THIS is EXACTLY how I manage small talk. I wrote myself a small talk program into my internal database too!
     
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  9. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    I don't like the personal questions which many non Aspergers people ask. Really reminds me of job interviews whats next what are you doing in 5 years? I might not even be around or the world might end what a stupid question.

    Ask me about the latest smartphone's, science fiction science fact the latest technology news. Really only Aspies ask those questions.
     
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  10. Nitro

    Nitro Admin/Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

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    Small talk is a way of opening a conversation to see if the other person has anything interesting to offer.

    It's not a dig into your personal life, and you have the right and ability to choose what you are willing to share and what you want kept private.

    If you find it exhausting, then say nothing and ignore what that other person is saying.
    Eventually, they will lose interest with you and move along, most likely with the impression that you are either rude, or unfriendly.
     
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  11. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    I reply with fine I am not working want to work at home I lived in Brooklyn my entire life "they like that answer". However bringing up tech at the social gathering the woman said that she don't know how to use it. I said that I can learn how to use a new peace of tech right away.

    It seems that many non Aspergers people don't care or know about technology, star trek science. They all use iPhones "which I hate the lockdown OS" which you can't customize i am an Android user where I have my phone tweaked the way I like it.

    But like my cousins Dom Aspergers son we can talk about it easily.

    I am never rude to strangers I say thank you all the time however my family I am rude often when inturrupted by old grudges.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2019
  12. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Most of the parts of small talk mentioned aren't ones I have that much of a problem with. It's the fact that almost everyone asks the exact same questions. What do you do for work, do you like it, and literally everyone has the same exact comments in response to me being a pianist. It's hive-mind level.
     
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  13. Jojo_LB

    Jojo_LB Brilliant Enigma V.I.P Member

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    This is why I almost always wear headphones. I don't even have to have music on (although often I do). I just wear it so nobody comes to make small talk with me.
     
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  14. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    Me to and I listen to this last night at the event for about 10 minutes:
    Drone Zone from SomaFM
    And this before Church service during social for about 15 minutes.
    ‎Deltadream - Binaural Sleep Beats by J.S. Epperson
     
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  15. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    It's lack of imagination. They're following a set script.
     
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  16. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Scripting is not a method used solely by NTs.
    And not exclusive to ASD, either.

    Following a script can be positive, furthering skill development, or negative,
    disruptive and limiting independence or interaction.

    It is a coping behavior.
     
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  17. BraidedPony

    BraidedPony Just Enjoying Survival V.I.P Member

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    I use small talk to get a sense of what kind of person this may be. They may have interests similar to mine and then we could talk more about it and maybe be friends.
    I used to worry about how to end a conversation, but now i can usually just say,Oh I gotta go, bye! When done with a friendly voice it doesnt come off as rude.
    Then when i get back home i have to lay down for a while.
     
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  18. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    I do some small talk at the social gathering problem is I notice that many people there are not tech savvy or anything. So we chat a bit about American and International holidays as holidays interest me but it is brief then when they start to talk about nothing again I tune out unless they say something to me or something they say only in a full group setting not a side group says something and usually when they look at me.

    But to conclude I did not realize after not socializing for nearly an decade how much I despise small talk. No wonder I liked being alone at school and other social events although I also hated to be alone too.
     
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  19. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    Okay so this is how an typical social worked for me of course when I was young and did not know what I had I though I was stupid and weird.
    1. Me and a few new people in a small group like social.
    2. No one knows anyone.
    3. Someone or me might talk to get started.
    4. I get into the conversation and comment a few times too.
    5. They start to talk more among themselves.
    6. They continue to talk among themselves more.
    7. I end up sitting there saying nothing.
    8. Then leave while they forum new friendships.
    9. Go home empty.
     
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