Hey!
So here is another breakup story and I am another person who wants to reconcile with my ex boyfriend who has autism. I appreciate any suggestions you guys can give me, and if my words offend you, I don’t not mean it!
We have been together for six months but we unfortunately broke up last week. Since we met each other online during corona time, during the first one month we only kept daily chatting via text or video. When corona restriction was not that strict, we began to met in person but only on weekend while still maintaining online chats on weekdays. I found the fact that frequent meeting up always burned him out quickly, so I tried to keep this frequency. But last few days, so many things happened that we wanted to meet up more frequently. I could tell that the more we met the less he missed me when we said goodbye, but… both of us were so glad to see each other, I chose to ignore the warning sign.
Last week we decided to live together for about six days, but yea we argued a lot those days and I thought it was fine because it was the first time we tried to live together for a long time, so after each single argument I just went a walk alone to calm down, when I came back he always came to hug me( I do appreciate it and I am so sad that I did not do the same). At the night of the fifth day, he broke up with me because he could not take close relationship. He said that he has thought about it for quite a long time even tho I thought it was our recent arguments caused it(because he was still really sweet the first day we lived together).
Anyways, both of us cried a lot and he said that he wanted to be friends because I was a nice person, he didn’t want to lose me. Being friends sounded actually super cruel for me because I tend to notice how he behaved differently, how he changed and began to kept distance from me in all of a sudden, but it was too difficult for me to cut off contact totally, so I said yes to the friends things.
I tried to tell him how I love him but he was overwhelmed by it, so we agreed to take a break and not talk until Monday, also I suggested to begin from friends when we talk again because I did not want to recall any moment with him, that hurts tooooo much. He did reach out on Monday and we talked for a while, which made me really happy but also a bit sad that we did talk like friends.
He told me close relationships were too much for him even tho both of us did our best, which I think is not true. Because he did not try discussing with me even once before approaching me to break up, how could I realize issues in this case. Besides, I really didn’t think autism was something could make him different, therefore I misunderstood him a lot. But now I do, I realize it is not right to treat him like NT, so I am here to ask for suggestions.
I don’t know what to do next. Should I wait him to reach out every single time? He said that he wanted me to talk to him when I felt like but I knew he need space and time for himself sometimes.
Also, should I mention that I want our relationship back again? I really don’t think there is nothing we can do except breakup but I am afraid overwhelming him with emotions again. Or should I just (pretend to) be friends with him? So that at least he won’t be under pressure?
So here is another breakup story and I am another person who wants to reconcile with my ex boyfriend who has autism. I appreciate any suggestions you guys can give me, and if my words offend you, I don’t not mean it!
We have been together for six months but we unfortunately broke up last week. Since we met each other online during corona time, during the first one month we only kept daily chatting via text or video. When corona restriction was not that strict, we began to met in person but only on weekend while still maintaining online chats on weekdays. I found the fact that frequent meeting up always burned him out quickly, so I tried to keep this frequency. But last few days, so many things happened that we wanted to meet up more frequently. I could tell that the more we met the less he missed me when we said goodbye, but… both of us were so glad to see each other, I chose to ignore the warning sign.
Last week we decided to live together for about six days, but yea we argued a lot those days and I thought it was fine because it was the first time we tried to live together for a long time, so after each single argument I just went a walk alone to calm down, when I came back he always came to hug me( I do appreciate it and I am so sad that I did not do the same). At the night of the fifth day, he broke up with me because he could not take close relationship. He said that he has thought about it for quite a long time even tho I thought it was our recent arguments caused it(because he was still really sweet the first day we lived together).
Anyways, both of us cried a lot and he said that he wanted to be friends because I was a nice person, he didn’t want to lose me. Being friends sounded actually super cruel for me because I tend to notice how he behaved differently, how he changed and began to kept distance from me in all of a sudden, but it was too difficult for me to cut off contact totally, so I said yes to the friends things.
I tried to tell him how I love him but he was overwhelmed by it, so we agreed to take a break and not talk until Monday, also I suggested to begin from friends when we talk again because I did not want to recall any moment with him, that hurts tooooo much. He did reach out on Monday and we talked for a while, which made me really happy but also a bit sad that we did talk like friends.
He told me close relationships were too much for him even tho both of us did our best, which I think is not true. Because he did not try discussing with me even once before approaching me to break up, how could I realize issues in this case. Besides, I really didn’t think autism was something could make him different, therefore I misunderstood him a lot. But now I do, I realize it is not right to treat him like NT, so I am here to ask for suggestions.
I don’t know what to do next. Should I wait him to reach out every single time? He said that he wanted me to talk to him when I felt like but I knew he need space and time for himself sometimes.
Also, should I mention that I want our relationship back again? I really don’t think there is nothing we can do except breakup but I am afraid overwhelming him with emotions again. Or should I just (pretend to) be friends with him? So that at least he won’t be under pressure?