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Noise-cancelling devices to cope with screaming children?

AuroraBorealis

AuroraBorealis

AuuuuuDHD
Hi everyone,

my partner and I are both sure that he's on the spectrum, for a lot of different reasons. A specific issue is that he can't cope with young children's screaming. The sound is absolutely unbearable for him. He tenses up immediately and basically has to leave. There is no way for him to ignore the sound or to even bear it, and I feel like it's getting worse over time.
This, of course, makes discussing future children a very difficult issue. But, even leaving own children out of the picture, I worry about other people's children, like, our future nieces and nephews, never being able to come and visit us while they're small.
Of course, I don't want him to suffer all the time, but I also don't want to just accept this as something that can't be changed. I want to try to find a way for him to make it easier to be around young, loud children, since it's something you can't really escape from in life, at least to the point of him being able to be in the same room with a crying child without feeling like he wants to die of the sound.

So, my thoughts are noise-cancelling headphones and/or earplugs. Since there's a lot on the market and we can't just buy and try out everything, I wanted to ask you guys. Does someone have a similar issue with a certain sound, and how do you cope? Do you know any specific headphones or earplugs that REALLY tune out the loudest bit of a child's scream to make it bearable?

Thank you!
 
I go to the library to do my art and there's a lot of kids and high pitched noises there.

Personally, I use the Sony WH-1000XM4 headphones. I believe there's now a 5th generation of these - the M5.

https://www.amazon.com/Sony-WH-1000...1_5?keywords=WH-1000XM4&qid=1694453084&sr=8-5
Expensive, but you get what you pay for when it comes to technology, and as headphones go, they're quite cheap. As for audiophile quality equipment you can easily spend thousands.

Noise cancelling is great though. It took me a few hours to get used to though, as initially it feels like a pressure on your ears. At least it did for me, but I quickly acclimated.

Ed
 
I have Sennheiser Momentum 4 headphones that work very well, both for noise canceling and providing me with sweet tunes.
 
I wouldn't worry so much about other people's kids. That is for the most part avoidable. It's not like he is going to be working in a day care center.

If you plan on having kids of your own I'd look into strategies, which you can probably find online to getting used to something by slow measured exposure to it. Or perhaps have him see a professional with experience with that issue. It might be called exposure therapy. I've used it on myself a few times both voluntarily and involuntariy and it can work, though success isn't guarenteed.
 
Screaming, crying babies and small children, more specifically, MY children, would send the hair on the back of my neck up. Absolute panic if I was driving and they were in their car seats behind me.

Within the home our children had "inside voices". If you wanted to raise your voice, "Take it outside or go to your separate rooms" We did not have an issue with "poor compliance" even when the kids were very small. As parents, we kept our voices soft. I don't recall my wife or I, ever, raising our voice. The children just followed the example. Our boys were 2 years apart, plenty of sibling rivalry, a true love-hate relationship, but when they got themselves to roughhousing, fighting, crying, etc. "Take it outside or go to your separate rooms". The house was a place of peace and quiet.

Sure, headphones may help the symptom of not tolerating the sounds, but probably the better approach is to create a culture within the home of peace and quiet. The home should be a safe, peaceful sanctuary, not a place of stress.
 
Don't worry, with your own kids it's different. You even get tone deaf to it, a little. And the love for the precious little angel makes up the rest.

But with other people's children, I guess just be patient. Every kid gets older, and if they are raised properly, they won't howl in front of company.

I find that empathy works well for me to learn to handle it. Instead of "Omg will that kid stop screaming in the grocery store?" I think to myself, "you and me both, kid." And so it becomes funny.
 
Lots of good advice in this thread. Personally I use the Sony XM4s. They're comfy and have a pass-through option for sounds, if you want. I also agree with @Yeshuasdaughter that with your own kids it can be more bearable. Not at the highest volumes, but that squeaky voices seems slightly less piercing. I don't think walking round with earphones is necessarily a great idea with your own kids, as they will want to interact. But I do use them at home every now and then to escape and unwind, or if I have work and the kids are having a particularly exciting game.
 
I got a pair of Sony WHCH710N's a few years ago and they're still going strong. They hold up well against blenders, vacuum cleaners, lawnmowers, etc, and you don't even have to crank the music up too loud to get the effect. Not bad for a more 'budget' pair.
 
I have misophonia and the sound of crying babies seems to be the top trigger. I just can't bear it. Makes me prefer baby animals because they only squeak, even baby lions don't develop a deafening roar until they're older. But humans develop a deafening roar the moment they're out the womb.
If voices of children grew as the child grew then life would be fantastic.
 
For fleeting but obnoxious sounds, I usually just put on conventional earplugs combined with industrial strength ear-noise protectors with a posted noise-reduction-rating (NRR). Anything above -30db is good.

Astronomically less expensive and far less fragile than sophisticated noise-cancelling headphones. They won't totally cut off all sound, but at least bring the most intense, painful sounds to a manageable level.

https://www.amazon.com/ear-noise-protectors/s?k=ear+noise+protectors
 
AuroraBorealis said:
Hi everyone,

my partner and I are both sure that he's on the spectrum, for a lot of different reasons. A specific issue is that he can't cope with young children's screaming. The sound is absolutely unbearable for him. He tenses up immediately and basically has to leave. There is no way for him to ignore the sound or to even bear it, and I feel like it's getting worse over time.
This, of course, makes discussing future children a very difficult issue. But, even leaving own children out of the picture, I worry about other people's children, like, our future nieces and nephews, never being able to come and visit us while they're small.
Of course, I don't want him to suffer all the time, but I also don't want to just accept this as something that can't be changed. I want to try to find a way for him to make it easier to be around young, loud children, since it's something you can't really escape from in life, at least to the point of him being able to be in the same room with a crying child without feeling like he wants to die of the sound.

So, my thoughts are noise-cancelling headphones and/or earplugs. Since there's a lot on the market and we can't just buy and try out everything, I wanted to ask you guys. Does someone have a similar issue with a certain sound, and how do you cope? Do you know any specific headphones or earplugs that REALLY tune out the loudest bit of a child's scream to make it bearable?

Thank you!
Click to expand...
I guess I can only share my personal experience. I was born with this same issue. It subsequently developed into a full on PTSD of children (Pedophobia), regardless of any sounds. Although the screaming and random, chaotic movements are what sends me into meltdown. Just their presents invokes extreme anxiety, but I can usually "appear" calm as long as they are stable and quiet. My method to prevent meltdowns has always been to vacate the premises of the children. Not always a socially acceptable fix - especially when I was a child myself, but it beats a meltdown and debilitating anxiety that lasts for weeks or longer.

I am now 71 years old and have lived with this for my entire life. I was also born with a hearing defect that I suppose has helped. Since my hearing defect is a birth defect in the brain, conventional hearing aids do not work. Later in life, I acquired a custom hearing aid designed for my unique condition that works really well. However, it drives my pedophobia to unimaginable levels. The trick, however, is to simply turn the hearing aid off. The hearing aid uses in ear monitors that seal completely, because external noise disrupts my perception of what I'm hearing. With that, I am totally deaf when it is turned off. That is a major relief that I have never had previously. It is well worth the negatives of being deaf.

I would just say that while this is indeed not a desirable condition, it does not "ruin" a persons life. I survived it and have had a good, productive life. No life is perfect. Every life has difficulties. This is just one of mine.

There are quite a few noise canceling headsets available. I have never used any as my hearing aid does the trick for me. Some have been mentioned in this thread that I would feel confident with. I wish you and him luck and a happy life, which I am confident he can have - even with a bad case of pedophobia.
 
I used to have a phobia of small children and babies but that fizzled out after my nieces and nephews were born and my grandson. I don't get so worked up when they cry, maybe because they're family and I love them and they seem to be well brought up and good-mannered. But the sound of small children and babies in public places gives me anxiety, maybe because I don't know them and they're unpredictable and can just go into a full-blown meltdown at any moment for any reason, or lack thereof.
 
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