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My entire family hates my aspie brother...

Xonolatio.

New Member
Hi, people.
I am new in this site so here's my story. Oh, yeah, I want you to know that I'm not autistic, but my brother is. He is my older brother (he's 26) and we live with our mother, our grandparents and other two siblings. The thing is that he's not mentally well. He is suffering so i am. He is seeing a therapist for years but there isn't important changes in his life. He was diagnosed as a small child but my parents did little to nothing to help him to develop social skills, coping skills, emotion management, etc. So neither they didn't educate us his little brothers about autism.

Our first years together were beautiful, we have a joyful childhood. My parents were very warm people, they were always looking for us. But not all is painted of pink. We were raised kinda isolated from the world, we were sent to a private school were anything was safe and discipline could be seen in any aspect of the place. We were overprotected kids, so we have problems trying to getting adapted to new places, new people, etc.

Sorry if I didn't say it earlier, but we are from Argentina and public education is very "crappy" here, so we, the four were sent to a good school, well a private one. My parents got divorced when my brother was 12 (I was 9) and then our lives went downhill. My dad got mentally and physically ill (he died in 2016, at just 49) and never gave money to my mom until his death. Our economic situation turned very bad, my relationship with my elder brother turned pretty much like crap, my brother and sister and I picked up on him.

As our money sources were cutting short, our mom decided to sent us to a public school, a technic school actually. For my others brothers and I was OK, but for him was HELL. the bullying, the lack of empathy (from the teachers, and the classmates of course), etc. He went straight 7 years in that place and finished it. My sister, my other brother and I changed of mind and finished our studies in another public schools, very easy. Sorry, I forgived to tell you our names, he's Ivan. My name is Lucas, the others aren't very important for now.

My brother was emotionally, and physically abused and neglected by my mother for years, until today is pretty much the same. For that, he has developed some serious psychological trastorns, psychotic episodes, anger management problems and temperamental issues. He has a electronic technical diploma, but nothing. He has no job, no friends, no girlfriend, no money, no NOTHING. He can't do anything right anyway, even the most simple task like washing the dishes.

My brothers do nothing for helping him (nor my grandparents or my mom), they are selfish, self-absorbed people. They don't work, they don't pay the bills and NOTHING, just nothing. The only people who have a job here are my mom and I. We are poor. My mom has nice and well-paid job but doesn't put much money in the house. I spend almost all my salary in food, but not very much apart.

My brother is all the day taking pills and sleeping (if not having meltings and swearing and hitting the wall and himself as well, seriously ALL THE DAMN DAY!) I am getting tired, I spent three years of my life working a lot for in our home (I work more than 70 hours per week for nothing) but it seems hopeless, pointless. I was thinking of leaving, I hate my job, I hate my life. I offered my brother to leave but he doesn't want to. He still loves my mom and thinks she is going to help him.

I can't leave my brother. I just can't. I don't know why I am writing this, maybe just for being heard. Don't worry for me anyway, peace and stay safe out there!
 
Hi and welcome, sorry you are up against this. You have had a lot to cope with, and life sounds tough. What are you thinking may be alternatives to living at home for you?

If you have possible alternatives, there's an option for you to consider leaving and becoming independent, then helping your brother when you can? He probably wouldn't want to leave until there is some security to offer him, but you might be able to do that later on?

It's a difficult time with the pandemic too, but perhaps you could start to plan?

:bus::railwaycar::tramcar::trolleybus::station::taxi::helicopter::airplane::rocket:
 
Great he has someone who cares for him. I was hated by my family too, didn't have a sibling who cared. Welcome to the site
 
Hi, thanks for at least trying to give me some advice. It not will be easy to leave becouse I have to mantain our place, but I will find my ways. Thank you, stay safe!
Hi and welcome, sorry you are up against this. You have had a lot to cope with, and life sounds tough. What are you thinking may be alternatives to living at home for you?

If you have possible alternatives, there's an option for you to consider leaving and becoming independent, then helping your brother when you can? He probably wouldn't want to leave until there is some security to offer him, but you might be able to do that later on?

It's a difficult time with the pandemic too, but perhaps you could start to plan?

:bus::railwaycar::tramcar::trolleybus::station::taxi::helicopter::airplane::rocket:
 
Hi, people.
I am new in this site so here's my story. Oh, yeah, I want you to know that I'm not autistic, but my brother is. He is my older brother (he's 26) and we live with our mother, our grandparents and other two siblings. The thing is that he's not mentally well. He is suffering so i am. He is seeing a therapist for years but there isn't important changes in his life. He was diagnosed as a small child but my parents did little to nothing to help him to develop social skills, coping skills, emotion management, etc. So neither they didn't educate us his little brothers about autism.

Our first years together were beautiful, we have a joyful childhood. My parents were very warm people, they were always looking for us. But not all is painted of pink. We were raised kinda isolated from the world, we were sent to a private school were anything was safe and discipline could be seen in any aspect of the place. We were overprotected kids, so we have problems trying to getting adapted to new places, new people, etc.

Sorry if I didn't say it earlier, but we are from Argentina and public education is very "crappy" here, so we, the four were sent to a good school, well a private one. My parents got divorced when my brother was 12 (I was 9) and then our lives went downhill. My dad got mentally and physically ill (he died in 2016, at just 49) and never gave money to my mom until his death. Our economic situation turned very bad, my relationship with my elder brother turned pretty much like crap, my brother and sister and I picked up on him.

As our money sources were cutting short, our mom decided to sent us to a public school, a technic school actually. For my others brothers and I was OK, but for him was HELL. the bullying, the lack of empathy (from the teachers, and the classmates of course), etc. He went straight 7 years in that place and finished it. My sister, my other brother and I changed of mind and finished our studies in another public schools, very easy. Sorry, I forgived to tell you our names, he's Ivan. My name is Lucas, the others aren't very important for now.

My brother was emotionally, and physically abused and neglected by my mother for years, until today is pretty much the same. For that, he has developed some serious psychological trastorns, psychotic episodes, anger management problems and temperamental issues. He has a electronic technical diploma, but nothing. He has no job, no friends, no girlfriend, no money, no NOTHING. He can't do anything right anyway, even the most simple task like washing the dishes.

My brothers do nothing for helping him (nor my grandparents or my mom), they are selfish, self-absorbed people. They don't work, they don't pay the bills and NOTHING, just nothing. The only people who have a job here are my mom and I. We are poor. My mom has nice and well-paid job but doesn't put much money in the house. I spend almost all my salary in food, but not very much apart.

My brother is all the day taking pills and sleeping (if not having meltings and swearing and hitting the wall and himself as well, seriously ALL THE DAMN DAY!) I am getting tired, I spent three years of my life working a lot for in our home (I work more than 70 hours per week for nothing) but it seems hopeless, pointless. I was thinking of leaving, I hate my job, I hate my life. I offered my brother to leave but he doesn't want to. He still loves my mom and thinks she is going to help him.

I can't leave my brother. I just can't. I don't know why I am writing this, maybe just for being heard. Don't worry for me anyway, peace and stay safe out there!

What sad is you never really had a childhood. Now you are forced to help your mother to just maintain food for everyone. First of all, you are an angel for not leaving your mother. Is it too hard to have your brother placed in some type of group home? The other option is (sadly), to sedate him to some extent so that there is some peace in the home. This would entail a doc visit and a prescription. Maybe another option is a holistic approach of chamomile tea or something along those lines that would call him down. You are commended for trying to help find a solution.
 
Hello, thanks for the welcome. Yeah, is tough, all the things I wrote are just the top of the iceberg. But, I'm trying to be optimist about this.

Thanks for the reply. I am sure that all of our stories are more complex than we can explain at first.
Glad you have found this place and can get some help in processing your stuff.
 
Many warm welcome, first. I am glad you are here. Maybe your brother can join, too? I do hope that you find much support here, and maybe your brother can, too. Let me also add that you are a very strong brother and a very good brother, too. Stay strong
 
What sad is you never really had a childhood. Now you are forced to help your mother to just maintain food for everyone. First of all, you are an angel for not leaving your mother. Is it too hard to have your brother placed in some type of group home? The other option is (sadly), to sedate him to some extent so that there is some peace in the home. This would entail a doc visit and a prescription. Maybe another option is a holistic approach of chamomile tea or something along those lines that would call him down. You are commended for trying to help find a solution.
Hey, thanks. He's already taking meds so I don't think more pills will help. Maybe the chamomile tea. Thank you for the advice and your time. Stay safe!
 
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